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Xero · 12-17-2010, 09:31 PM

First of all, I'm not here just to "fit in". I'm here to find out if there are others that have the same likes/dislikes as me. I have never really classified myself as "goth", but living in lower Alabama, it is what I was always labeled in school. I had a rebellious phase against that just because it was what I was always known as. Sadly enough, the best I could find to "cover up the black" was "emo". That never seemed to fit me, but I acted the part so that people would stop calling me goth. I was 16, okay? Give me a break. I've grown a lot in the last three years. I know that even my mentioning this phase will make most of you cringe and never speak to me. I want to know if this is where I should be. My best friend understands more than anyone to an extent, but even she has her moments of disapproval for my thoughts and feelings. I understand that not everyone can agree with me at all times, but if it is possible that someone can help me find the path to who I am then maybe it would help. I have the genetic type of depression, which means that when I look sad in pictures, I'm genuinely sad. I don't *try* to be sad for goth/emo points or whatever. I don't really care. I'm me and thats all I want to be. I do listen to music that is apparently characterized as "goth" music, though. I want to know if this music is what is really known as "goth" or just what is stereotyped, because frankly, I'm tired of the general public's approach to things. My favorite musician of two years(since I first discovered her) is Emilie Autumn. I know all of her songs and can sing them word for word. I say this because I am curious. Many call her a "goth" artist. That is not why I listen to her. I am constantly trying to find music like hers because that is the music that FILLS my soul with calmness. The darkness soothes me, I guess you could say. I show people the music I love, the music that is keeping me from going on a suicidal breakdown, and all they can say is "Why do you listen to this depressing crap?" and "Omg thats so weird!". Other artists I listen to are: Dresden Dolls, Birdeatsbaby, (Dark Cabaret, I know. But are they "goth"?) Voltaire (Self acclaimed "goth".), Black Tape for a Blue Girl, Hannah Fury, One-Eyed Doll, Jack Off Jill, Scarling, Lycia, Helen Trevellion, Vermillion Lies, and many other artists like these. I have found them on my own over time. These are the ones that I best relate to. I also find myself listening to mainstream rock, classical music, and other oddities.
Leeni, Evanescence, My Chemical Romance, Slipknot and many others. I used to love vampires before Twilight came out. Vampires are supposedly another "goth" thing. Being from Alabama, I am VERY restricted in knowledge of this subject...all I have is the internet. I do not choose to be who I am. That is why I am asking...do I belong in this...group of people? I greatly dislike pop music, especially the likes of Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber, which I have come to realize "goths" hate too. Another thing, I don't just grab random black T-Shirts and go around saying "My soul is darkened to the core." I do write song lyrics and poetry, though. Most of it either scares or shocks people. Many of my friends like it, though they say it depresses them. I tend to wear monotone colors(Black, white, grey). Not for any specific reason, I just have an aversion to brightness. I recently dressed as what I believe I would look like if I were a "goth" and took pictures, which I will attempt to post on my profile on here. I did not do this just for the sake of looking "goth". I did it as an experiment to see if I could "pull off the look" in my own eyes. I believe I really like the way it turned out. I want to know what you guys think. Am I goth? Do I belong here? Or am I just a confused person who needs to be redirected to some other place..?

12-17-2010, 09:31 PM	#1
Xero Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Atmore, AL Posts: 6	Hello, am I in the right place? First of all, I'm not here just to "fit in". I'm here to find out if there are others that have the same likes/dislikes as me. I have never really classified myself as "goth", but living in lower Alabama, it is what I was always labeled in school. I had a rebellious phase against that just because it was what I was always known as. Sadly enough, the best I could find to "cover up the black" was "emo". That never seemed to fit me, but I acted the part so that people would stop calling me goth. I was 16, okay? Give me a break. I've grown a lot in the last three years. I know that even my mentioning this phase will make most of you cringe and never speak to me. I want to know if this is where I should be. My best friend understands more than anyone to an extent, but even she has her moments of disapproval for my thoughts and feelings. I understand that not everyone can agree with me at all times, but if it is possible that someone can help me find the path to who I am then maybe it would help. I have the genetic type of depression, which means that when I look sad in pictures, I'm genuinely sad. I don't try to be sad for goth/emo points or whatever. I don't really care. I'm me and thats all I want to be. I do listen to music that is apparently characterized as "goth" music, though. I want to know if this music is what is really known as "goth" or just what is stereotyped, because frankly, I'm tired of the general public's approach to things. My favorite musician of two years(since I first discovered her) is Emilie Autumn. I know all of her songs and can sing them word for word. I say this because I am curious. Many call her a "goth" artist. That is not why I listen to her. I am constantly trying to find music like hers because that is the music that FILLS my soul with calmness. The darkness soothes me, I guess you could say. I show people the music I love, the music that is keeping me from going on a suicidal breakdown, and all they can say is "Why do you listen to this depressing crap?" and "Omg thats so weird!". Other artists I listen to are: Dresden Dolls, Birdeatsbaby, (Dark Cabaret, I know. But are they "goth"?) Voltaire (Self acclaimed "goth".), Black Tape for a Blue Girl, Hannah Fury, One-Eyed Doll, Jack Off Jill, Scarling, Lycia, Helen Trevellion, Vermillion Lies, and many other artists like these. I have found them on my own over time. These are the ones that I best relate to. I also find myself listening to mainstream rock, classical music, and other oddities. Leeni, Evanescence, My Chemical Romance, Slipknot and many others. I used to love vampires before Twilight came out. Vampires are supposedly another "goth" thing. Being from Alabama, I am VERY restricted in knowledge of this subject...all I have is the internet. I do not choose to be who I am. That is why I am asking...do I belong in this...group of people? I greatly dislike pop music, especially the likes of Miley Cyrus and Justin Beiber, which I have come to realize "goths" hate too. Another thing, I don't just grab random black T-Shirts and go around saying "My soul is darkened to the core." I do write song lyrics and poetry, though. Most of it either scares or shocks people. Many of my friends like it, though they say it depresses them. I tend to wear monotone colors(Black, white, grey). Not for any specific reason, I just have an aversion to brightness. I recently dressed as what I believe I would look like if I were a "goth" and took pictures, which I will attempt to post on my profile on here. I did not do this just for the sake of looking "goth". I did it as an experiment to see if I could "pull off the look" in my own eyes. I believe I really like the way it turned out. I want to know what you guys think. Am I goth? Do I belong here? Or am I just a confused person who needs to be redirected to some other place..?