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Old 12-25-2010, 11:47 AM   #5
CuckooTuli
 
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 708
I have to disagree, actually... I really dislike the subject matter. It's just very... obvious. I don't know how much exploration it really warrants, but that's a different argument really, and this didn't do it for me. I know there's the "everything has been done to death" argument to be had about my saying that, but I found the subject matter too familiar, and agree with Underwater Ophelia's comment about it being too chatty. I thought it was very overly wordy in a way that bogged it down.

For what it's worth though, I've nosed around in this section a bit, and I do like some of your other poems.
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