Gothic.net Community - View Single Post

Saya · 01-31-2011, 04:21 PM

SCENE OPENS IN WIKIPEDIA, A LIBRARY OF EPIC PROPORTIONS WHERE USERS TAKE DOWN THE BOOKS, SCRIBBLE PENISES IN THEM WHILE OTHERS CHASE AFTER THEM WITH WHITE OUT. THE HOME PAGE IS A LARGE, OMINOUS DESK WHERE JIMMY WALES SITS, SIGHING DRAMATICALLY AND OCCASSIONALLY JINGLING A DONATION JAR, HOPING THAT USERS WILL TAKE THE HINT.

SAYA, VERSUS, APATHY AND SCC ENTER FROM A SIDE TUNNEL NEAR THE HOME PAGE, LOOKING DISHEVELED, EMBARRASSED AND SOMEWHAT TRAUMATIZED.

Versus: I...I can't say how sorry I am. I had no idea that the tunnel we made would link us with an erotica tube.

ALL LOOK AT THEIR FEET AWKWARDLY.

Saya: Let's....let's never speak of it again.

Apathy: ... Agreed.

SCC: [looks at Apathy with longing] But can we...do it again?

Versus: [clears throat] Anyway, the point is, we're here. Uh, I last saw Humane over here. [shuffles towards the RELIGION section, claw marks burning painfully on his back. He stops at a bookshelf labeled THE HOLY PREPUCE.]

Saya: Okay guys, he had to get his info from here. Let's just spread out and read through.

80'S STYLE MONTAGE ENSUES OF THE TEAM READING AND LEARNING ABOUT THE WONDERFUL HISTORY OF THE HOLY PREPUCE.

VIN ENTERS FROM AROUND THE CORNER, WEARING A REPORTER HAT AND HOLDING A PEN AND NOTEPAD.

Vin: Oh, you guys are here? What a scoop!

Saya: Um, whats with the get up?

Vin: Oh, I decided to blog about the Troll invasion. I heard it on Twitter that someone was down here trying to find a way to stop them, so I had to come by!

Saya: Oh. Say, you haven't heard from Humane very recently, have you?

Vin: No, not in ages.

Saya: Crap.

SCC: Hey, Apathy...do you think its time to...oil up yet?

Apathy: Again? Dude, after...what we agreed not to talk about...I'm not a machine.

SCC: But..I can't restrain myself...

Apathy: Dude, we must control our...urges. There's people here. We're on a serious, dangerous mission.

BOTH STARE AT EACH OTHER SADLY FOR A MOMENT, BEFORE GIVING INTO THE PASSION AND TACKLING EACH OTHER AT ONCE. THEY FALL BACK AND KNOCK OVER THE BOOKSHELF.

Saya: Guys! Holy shit, you want Jimmy Wales to hear you?!!! Do you want to get flagged?!!!

APATHY AND SCC GET UP SHEEPISHLY, THEN NOTICE A TRAP DOOR WHERE THE BOOKSHELF WAS.

SCC: Oh hey! A CLUE!

Versus: Now what were the ODDS?

Apathy: [opens the door, revealing a deep dark hole with a ladder leading down.] Oh hello hello, we're discovering a lot of things today.

Vin: What a scoop!

Saya: So, what, is that your new catch phrase?

Vin: Well, yeah, as your sidekick, I'm going to need one.

Saya: Wait, what? I already have multiple sidekicks. My sidekick has a sidekick [gestures towards Apathy and SCC]. I'm all sidekicked up.

Vin: Nuh uh. Versus is your “will they, won't they” love interest that probably won't go anywhere, and Apathy and SCC are currently acting as the comic relief pair, and that's as good as you can do until Kontan and Despanan enter. [grabs Saya by the arm] Besides, we can totally be BFFs! And until I entered this thing was miserably failing the Bechdel test. How can you call yourself a feminist and not include more women in your group?!

Saya: Good point, but you're not...going to fall into racist stereotypes that will horrify all when they look back on this, are you?

Vin: Oh, you mean the whole “Floor is crunchy, like fortune cookie!” thing? Nah, I think I can resist.

Saya: Alright, alright, you can come along. Lets just get this thing rolling, I'm itching to get to a fight scene.

ALL CLIMB DOWN THE LADDER ONE AT A TIME.

01-31-2011, 04:21 PM	#23
Saya Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 9,548	SCENE OPENS IN WIKIPEDIA, A LIBRARY OF EPIC PROPORTIONS WHERE USERS TAKE DOWN THE BOOKS, SCRIBBLE PENISES IN THEM WHILE OTHERS CHASE AFTER THEM WITH WHITE OUT. THE HOME PAGE IS A LARGE, OMINOUS DESK WHERE JIMMY WALES SITS, SIGHING DRAMATICALLY AND OCCASSIONALLY JINGLING A DONATION JAR, HOPING THAT USERS WILL TAKE THE HINT. SAYA, VERSUS, APATHY AND SCC ENTER FROM A SIDE TUNNEL NEAR THE HOME PAGE, LOOKING DISHEVELED, EMBARRASSED AND SOMEWHAT TRAUMATIZED. Versus: I...I can't say how sorry I am. I had no idea that the tunnel we made would link us with an erotica tube. ALL LOOK AT THEIR FEET AWKWARDLY. Saya: Let's....let's never speak of it again. Apathy: ... Agreed. SCC: [looks at Apathy with longing] But can we...do it again? Versus: [clears throat] Anyway, the point is, we're here. Uh, I last saw Humane over here. [shuffles towards the RELIGION section, claw marks burning painfully on his back. He stops at a bookshelf labeled THE HOLY PREPUCE.] Saya: Okay guys, he had to get his info from here. Let's just spread out and read through. 80'S STYLE MONTAGE ENSUES OF THE TEAM READING AND LEARNING ABOUT THE WONDERFUL HISTORY OF THE HOLY PREPUCE. VIN ENTERS FROM AROUND THE CORNER, WEARING A REPORTER HAT AND HOLDING A PEN AND NOTEPAD. Vin: Oh, you guys are here? What a scoop! Saya: Um, whats with the get up? Vin: Oh, I decided to blog about the Troll invasion. I heard it on Twitter that someone was down here trying to find a way to stop them, so I had to come by! Saya: Oh. Say, you haven't heard from Humane very recently, have you? Vin: No, not in ages. Saya: Crap. SCC: Hey, Apathy...do you think its time to...oil up yet? Apathy: Again? Dude, after...what we agreed not to talk about...I'm not a machine. SCC: But..I can't restrain myself... Apathy: Dude, we must control our...urges. There's people here. We're on a serious, dangerous mission. BOTH STARE AT EACH OTHER SADLY FOR A MOMENT, BEFORE GIVING INTO THE PASSION AND TACKLING EACH OTHER AT ONCE. THEY FALL BACK AND KNOCK OVER THE BOOKSHELF. Saya: Guys! Holy shit, you want Jimmy Wales to hear you?!!! Do you want to get flagged?!!! APATHY AND SCC GET UP SHEEPISHLY, THEN NOTICE A TRAP DOOR WHERE THE BOOKSHELF WAS. SCC: Oh hey! A CLUE! Versus: Now what were the ODDS? Apathy: [opens the door, revealing a deep dark hole with a ladder leading down.] Oh hello hello, we're discovering a lot of things today. Vin: What a scoop! Saya: So, what, is that your new catch phrase? Vin: Well, yeah, as your sidekick, I'm going to need one. Saya: Wait, what? I already have multiple sidekicks. My sidekick has a sidekick [gestures towards Apathy and SCC]. I'm all sidekicked up. Vin: Nuh uh. Versus is your “will they, won't they” love interest that probably won't go anywhere, and Apathy and SCC are currently acting as the comic relief pair, and that's as good as you can do until Kontan and Despanan enter. [grabs Saya by the arm] Besides, we can totally be BFFs! And until I entered this thing was miserably failing the Bechdel test. How can you call yourself a feminist and not include more women in your group?! Saya: Good point, but you're not...going to fall into racist stereotypes that will horrify all when they look back on this, are you? Vin: Oh, you mean the whole “Floor is crunchy, like fortune cookie!” thing? Nah, I think I can resist. Saya: Alright, alright, you can come along. Lets just get this thing rolling, I'm itching to get to a fight scene. ALL CLIMB DOWN THE LADDER ONE AT A TIME.