I like it a lot. Just a few things:
Did you mean "chandelier" ("chandelie")
Quote:
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"Look! That burning lips, so dark, so fresh, unbearable!
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I think it should probably be "Those burning..."
Quote:
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"Her companions shines with her presence
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It should be "shine"
Quote:
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Soon he exclaim at the irresistable direction
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I'm not sure what exactly you want to say here but I think it should be "...he exclaimed..."
Quote:
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Pushed her aside, taggered into forest
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Should it be "staggered"?