Quote:
Originally Posted by MissCheyenne
Again, I don't like or dislike this. There's a few areas I'd alter slightly personally, just to set the flow a little better (at least it flows better to me when I alter it in my head). I don't think it's awful and you are right, it's difficult to write something original about love as there are so many cliches to avoid. I'll come back to you with some proper suggestions when I have a little more time and my head isn't so fuzzy.
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 Oh, looking forward to some of your advice MissCheyenne, it was very helpful for my other poems I've posted. Sorry I haven't replied to this in a bit, figured no one cared much for this poem and the thread would be dead by now.
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"An orphan's curse would drag to hell
A spirit from on high ;
But oh ! more horrible than that
Is the curse in a dead man's eye !
Seven days, seven nights, I saw that curse,
And yet I could not die."
-The Rime of the Ancient Mariner
by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
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