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Like many concepts, I think respect encompasses what are actually a number of different ideas.
One, there is a basic respect due to all human beings. This is the simple recognition that you are a thinking, feeling being and not an object, and that I do not have the right to use you as I would a tool. (Where animals fall in this is a whole different debate.) This entails primarily non-interference - as long as you don't do anything do hurt me or someone else, I won't prevent you from acting freely. This kind of respect is due to anyone no matter their behavior.
The second type is essentially the favor of assuming the other to be a decent person. This is more a neutral position of beginning an acquaintance, not jumping to the worst conclusion possible when someone messes up, etc. This kind of respect shouldn't have to be gained initially but can be lost. This is the kind of respect that is violated when someone is judged base on race, sex, etc. It's why it's wrong to doubt someone's honesty because they're black but not wrong to doubt it because they have lied to your friend.
The third type is respect due to authority or superiority in some sense. This is always earned. Certain social mechanisms serve as shorthand codes for the work done earning this respect - e.g. an academic degree is supposed to be shorthand for someone who deserves respect in that particular area. Some of these social mechanisms work better than others.
And yes, I have found a lot of people confuse disagreement with disrespect, especially when the one disagreeing is younger, the wrong sex, or otherwise not seen as an equal. This is imo a failure of respect category #2 - not giving someone a chance.
Now, this is all complicated by social signals. Ideally social signals serve to show respect where it is due. In practice, however, they get all mixed up with a bunch of other social expectations, which leads to a lot of confusion and problems.
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