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KissMeDeadly · 11-23-2011, 07:33 PM

I'm seeing a trend here, in my posts, Gnet

And while I know I'm not the most memorable poster (Look at my postcount vs how long I've been here), I still apologize for this.

Yes, this is another "That fuckin' fiance of mine" post.

God bless her tiny, tiny heart, but she has really been through some shit. That's why I'm still with her, that's why, for all her faults and failures, I still see through the the truly beautiful and wonderful person underneath at all.

But sometimes, I want to strangle her with her own spider-web fishnet tights.

Way back when she was young, she has a self mutilation problem, when enough people pressured her to stop, she replaced being a human jack-o-lantern (cause you carve them HAHAHAHA) with a stiff dxm/coricedan addiction. That one was the hard one, and I wasn't there to see her at her worst. She managed to quit that, through parents, NA, and, the most destructive, a bad drinking habit.

(Bear with me)

At first she drank like a cancer-ridden sailor with good money who knows he's not long for the world. That's the mentality. I've been there. You feel like the world is going to end tomorrow, that nothing has any meaning, so why not just be so drunk that you don't realize you're even alive.

Well, something got to her, and she chilled on that too, that's when I met her. Yeah, she was still drinking, in fact, the first time we met we were drinking together. The next few months we were 'new love' drunk and 'everclear and crangrape' drunk. Me not being a big drinker (anymore) got tired of that, and stopped drinking except for weekends. She relaxed, put down the bottle and we commence dating, etc. Now we live together, and I'm still as infatuated with her as the day we met. She really is amazing, and I really do want to spend my life with her

But she's still holding that bottle. She doesn't drink that much at a time, at least not as much as she used to. This is a 100 pound woman who could, at one time, drink me, a 6 foot 280 pound man under the table. She just drinks very, very frequently. Like, every day frequently. She just cannot seem to function without it.

It has caused literally every problem in our relationship so far. Every time we have an argument, it's when she passes that line from being a little bit tipsy and having a good time, to slobbering on herself and yelling at everyone in the room. She does it way more than she should, especially around the holidays. It's at the point where I just don't want to go to any parties or gatherings with friends, because I know there is alcohol there. It's nonsense, when it's just us, she can have a few drinks, and know when to stop and we both enjoy ourselves, but add company to the mix and she doesn't see that line anymore. She just doesn't stop drinking until there is nothing left, adn then she wants to go get more.

I can't take her to social functions because she always gets so hammered that she makes an ass out of herself, and out of me. It always ends the same way: With my fiance, stumbling and falling on the floor, either yelling or crying about something. If she doesn't do that, then she'll interupt everyone, and get all eyes on her, and then tell a very long, very emotional (and therefore very innapropriate to tell people you just met) about private things (which makes it more inapropriate.) Things like describing losing her virginity in graphic detail, and how big a douche the guy was, or talking about her r@pe for two or three hours.

Don't get me wrong, that's a tramatic experience that lead her to years of therapy, and I know that she has to talk about it to get it out sometimes, but on christmas eve at my work with my coworkers that I don't even know that well personally, is not the right place to do it. It makes everyone uncomfortable, and it makes everyone resent both of us. I have to see these people every single day. Now I'll always be known as the **** guy. Awesome.

Anyway, two days ago she said that she would quit drinking, just to prove to me that she doesn't have a problem drinking.

She is currently drunk out of her mind.

GODFUCKINGDAMNITWOMANIDONTWANTTOLEAVEYOUANDABANDON YEARSOFLIFEBUTICANTTAKEMUCHMOREOFTHISFFFFUUUUUUUUU UUCK

/rant

11-23-2011, 07:33 PM	#1
KissMeDeadly Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 323	My Life with an Addict I'm seeing a trend here, in my posts, Gnet And while I know I'm not the most memorable poster (Look at my postcount vs how long I've been here), I still apologize for this. Yes, this is another "That fuckin' fiance of mine" post. God bless her tiny, tiny heart, but she has really been through some shit. That's why I'm still with her, that's why, for all her faults and failures, I still see through the the truly beautiful and wonderful person underneath at all. But sometimes, I want to strangle her with her own spider-web fishnet tights. Way back when she was young, she has a self mutilation problem, when enough people pressured her to stop, she replaced being a human jack-o-lantern (cause you carve them HAHAHAHA) with a stiff dxm/coricedan addiction. That one was the hard one, and I wasn't there to see her at her worst. She managed to quit that, through parents, NA, and, the most destructive, a bad drinking habit. (Bear with me) At first she drank like a cancer-ridden sailor with good money who knows he's not long for the world. That's the mentality. I've been there. You feel like the world is going to end tomorrow, that nothing has any meaning, so why not just be so drunk that you don't realize you're even alive. Well, something got to her, and she chilled on that too, that's when I met her. Yeah, she was still drinking, in fact, the first time we met we were drinking together. The next few months we were 'new love' drunk and 'everclear and crangrape' drunk. Me not being a big drinker (anymore) got tired of that, and stopped drinking except for weekends. She relaxed, put down the bottle and we commence dating, etc. Now we live together, and I'm still as infatuated with her as the day we met. She really is amazing, and I really do want to spend my life with her But she's still holding that bottle. She doesn't drink that much at a time, at least not as much as she used to. This is a 100 pound woman who could, at one time, drink me, a 6 foot 280 pound man under the table. She just drinks very, very frequently. Like, every day frequently. She just cannot seem to function without it. It has caused literally every problem in our relationship so far. Every time we have an argument, it's when she passes that line from being a little bit tipsy and having a good time, to slobbering on herself and yelling at everyone in the room. She does it way more than she should, especially around the holidays. It's at the point where I just don't want to go to any parties or gatherings with friends, because I know there is alcohol there. It's nonsense, when it's just us, she can have a few drinks, and know when to stop and we both enjoy ourselves, but add company to the mix and she doesn't see that line anymore. She just doesn't stop drinking until there is nothing left, adn then she wants to go get more. I can't take her to social functions because she always gets so hammered that she makes an ass out of herself, and out of me. It always ends the same way: With my fiance, stumbling and falling on the floor, either yelling or crying about something. If she doesn't do that, then she'll interupt everyone, and get all eyes on her, and then tell a very long, very emotional (and therefore very innapropriate to tell people you just met) about private things (which makes it more inapropriate.) Things like describing losing her virginity in graphic detail, and how big a douche the guy was, or talking about her r@pe for two or three hours. Don't get me wrong, that's a tramatic experience that lead her to years of therapy, and I know that she has to talk about it to get it out sometimes, but on christmas eve at my work with my coworkers that I don't even know that well personally, is not the right place to do it. It makes everyone uncomfortable, and it makes everyone resent both of us. I have to see these people every single day. Now I'll always be known as the **** guy. Awesome. Anyway, two days ago she said that she would quit drinking, just to prove to me that she doesn't have a problem drinking. She is currently drunk out of her mind. GODFUCKINGDAMNITWOMANIDONTWANTTOLEAVEYOUANDABANDON YEARSOFLIFEBUTICANTTAKEMUCHMOREOFTHISFFFFUUUUUUUUU UUCK /rant