It's 3:30am and I'm still awake. It's going to be another sleepless night for me. There are too many things running around in my head.
How do you get motivated when nothing sparks your interest? Lately, I just feel like a zombie walking through life. I go through all the motions of being alive, but when I'm alone and undistracted, I can stare at a wall for hours. I'm hurting those around me. Mainly my boyfriend since he's the only one that can tell that, even though I act as though I'm there, I'm becoming a shell of what I used to be.
Nothing is terribly wrong with my life. Shit, I've seen people post things in here that are 10 times worse than any complications I might have at the moment. I think that may be part of the problem as well. Nothing is going on that is really bad but nothing is going on that is really good either. I guess I feel kind of stuck. Not moving forward and not moving backward either and no sign of any movement in the future.
I suggested to my bf that maybe I should go visit family in LA for a little while, that maybe that would unstick the routine and jump start things. He said he'd miss me too much and that there shouldn't be anything that we shouldn't be able to get through together. He sees it as something we have to help eachother through. I agree with both his and my opinion.
I just don't know what to do or what there is to do even.
Phew, if you read all that, you're a trooper...
