[Ben Lahnger]

Hey everybody,

here's a bit of fun courtesy of theonion.com. This is freakin' hilarious!

Live Every Day As If You're Dying Of A Contagious Disease That Turns People You Bite Into Zombies

(click ^ that)

Here's a quick excerpt:

(My father) was never really happy, and I remember asking myself, at a very young age, how his life would have been different if he'd behaved as if his appetites could provide him with an army of the living dead.

It's certainly changed almost everything about my life - the way I look at people, the way I treat them, the way I bite them, hard, and then begin screaming, "Aha! I've turned yet another person into a relentless shuffling zombie! Soon my mindless hordes shall hold dominion over the entire world!"

The Onion is always good for a laugh or two, but this is pretty damned funny!