[ExistentialDisorder]

I can't imagine anybody deliberately jumping in front of a train like that, to off themselves. I mean god damn, that's just a whole lot of violence. I think it takes not only a lack of faith in your own life, but a whole lot of self-hatred, to want to go out in such a brutal way. But I guess it does insure you wont live through it, for those who want to be sure of that. Sorry you had to witness such a thing, Restless. That was definately inconsiderate on the jumper's part, tho I doubt he really gave a shit about who saw it, so long as no one tried to stop him.

I don't want to get into a debate with anybody. I'm just going to say that I don't believe that suicide is selfish. The method one takes to commit it can be and often is selfish and inconsiderate, but not the act itself. I think the selfishness comes on the part of those that would try to convince somebody not to commit suicide, due to their own (selfish) wants, desires and feelings for/towards that person. If somebody has reached the point in their life that they really, truly don't want it to go on any longer, for whatever reasons of their own, then it should be their choice to end their life. A lot of the time those people eventually find either a lack of courage to go through with it, or something else that helps them hold on, or both. Committing suicide in front of somebody is definately wrong tho, I won't argue that at all. Go away somewhere private and do it, where nobody else will be subjected to the trauma of witnessing it. The sad thing is a lot of people, especially teens, do it for attention, sometimes even some twisted sense of vengeance. I've been suicidal, I know how it feels to wake up wishing you hadn't, or to go to sleep hoping you wont come out of it. what it's like to truly hate life and want an end. I've plotted it out before, figured out the perfect way, for me, to go about it. It never consisted of jumping in front of a train, or off a bridge, or anything violent like that. It's really not a hatred for life itself, but for what it hands you, especially when you didn't deserve it or ask for it at all. And some things just never go away, no matter how much you ignore it or try to cope, it's all still there just beneath the surface. So far I've been able, for the most part, to keep finding things that help me hang on. But what happens when even that's not enough? What's left? Some are stronger than others and can deal with a hell of a lot more. I just think that it's selfish of others to want you to go on, to keep enduring when you honestly, sincerely just want it all to end. Because it's not their pain, they're not the ones that have to deal with it day after day. Love them enough to let them go, and be happy for them in the hopes that they've somehow found some sort of peace with themselves.

As for EPS, I'm sorry you're dealing with so much. I didn't know you were so ill. I hope you get well soon.