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Stop being the Ghost of GN Past already !
(Just kidding, why not tell us newish newbies about them good ol' days?)
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It was quite interesting.
But, like any Virtual Ghost, I can only haunt myself in my own past. But I have been many ghosts, so I guess I'll share my side of it.
This website was basically the only social life I had from 13 to 15. I seriously had no friends. I act like I don't now but that was the true and utter feeling of knowing how different you are.
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Originally Posted by Acharis
Well, older Gnet. I think I joined in Old Gnet's death throes. It was good though, some high quality trash entertainment.
Who could forget the user based fanfics. The shitposting. The vindictive political arguments. The Porn Thread. *misty eyes*
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Good fucking Goth. Who are you?! I remember being such a virgin at 13 when I joined this site. I was not only new to goth but I was under the impression this site was
ALL GOTH ONLY. ALL GOTH MUSIC ALL GOTHIC LITERAUTRE FROM RADCLIFFE TO POPPY Z. BRITE
I blocked myself from that thread. Along with the sex thread, kinks and fetishes [made by my absent father and fellow Guido Apathy's_Child who is the author of the most epic and only fanfic I've ever read. I miss him the most] because I was in such denial that I wanted to be adored.
I hated the entire idea of sex, only because I was so unlovable as a boy- chubby and prepubescent yet with feminine features so the entire ideology I portrayed as goth was the only way I could feel 'beautiful'.
Of course it was the music that really welcomed and settled me, I think it was because I had a natural urge to appear androgynous prior my goth years. My mother raised me on Bowie.
I am, by far, the most prime example of the one who looks not only in shame at my past opinions but also complete hilarity.
My signature was a triple rowed 'GOTH FOREVER', which I would write on myself in sharpie marker and one time tried to carve. Fucking dumb. I was given some serious shit and said I was from England [actually Wales- laugh my fucking ass off], skinny, and bisexual.
Lying about basically everything I was physically, saw myself as Lord Byron with Oscar Wilde's hair. In reality, I was Andy Milonakis.
I had two big crushes on this website I knew would never work out. I was a very sick thirteen year old who touched himself vigorously. Keep that in mind next time you guys are on the Picture Post.
I was in love Minyaliel first and then Cicero, classic unrequited syndrome. I never really expressed that, I only told honeythorn who I trusted and actually still have on Facebook. She's a little obnoxious.
Then I got sent away to a therapeutic boarding school because I was planning on running away to Virginia where Korinna_5555 was and her and Lykaois [Justin Pleiss, who literally ended up a missing person and I'm not sure if they ever found him] and I were all gonna habitually live together, start a band called Flaming Creatures, and have some kind of....well, it just gets weirder and weirder from there.
Hidden Lake Academy was what changed me. I don't even want to talk about that fucking place, plus it's real life and not internet related and therefore bogus and irrelevant.
Prior to my exile I liked communicating with those I felt were the 'true, elite goths' or at least the ones who, like I, did considered themselves goth. I held the musicians who appeared the most goth in theatrics and sound [ROZZ WILLIAMS, who is still a hero. amazing singer] of highest importance.
It was way too much emphasis and obsession I manifested with complete obsessive compulsive force, I was afraid if I wasn't viewed as Goth I would have no identity at all. I hated myself. I was of the idea that all black everything, lipstick and all, being a young man in Boca Raton- was my salvation. The core of what I was.
When I saw the corners of my round, pale, and puffy woman-like face all I thought could fix me was if I had the face of Gavin Friday. Gothic rock actually harvested my love of music in so many ways, I was drawn to the strangest sides of it.
I needed some serious fucking help. Outside of writing bad poetry that was so obsessive I would literally write stanzas that wrote out 'GOTH' in acronyms. I even started my own message board in mid 2007 that is totally debunked now (Gods and Monsters).
I recruited some of my 'elites', who are still far better than I at not only being goth but writing, but overall I felt like I was forcing goth onto what I consistently deemed 'my fellow goths'
Aaroneet was a beautiful, tortured soul. Always a great poet, still is. Search the gallows of these threads for her stuff in the lit section you won't regret it.
She was always kind to me and we'd have great conversations about writing. She was related to the great Howard Zinn! Can you believe that, on this website?! Howard fucking Zinn!
-and I ended up tracking her down (by accident, like a good lurk) to find out she is doing well and published a book of poetry about me. Not even kidding. I also used the pen name Casanova Shamdil at one point and found out she had read my writing and wrote a book 'Songs of a Vampire' as a tribute to me.
I think the basis came from the ONE short story I've ever had officially published, it was a short story seriously called Vamp Love seriously on the now bunked ANGST-ZINE.
http://www.lulu.com/shop/amanda-harr...t-1225775.html
Amanda Harris, if you're reading this, it brings me to tears that someone could be so kind and genuine kid who felt I did those days. I am so proud of the strength you have brought without forgetting who you are with all humility. I will buy this book soon. And thank you for accepting my short story submission (I've been getting a lot of rejection letters for my writing so it's a miracle) that will appear her brilliant, very polished publication 'The Miscreant'
http://miscreantmagazine.com/
Towards the end of my alter ego 'Vyvian' (the name Vyvian Blackthorne was literally a FIND YOUR GOTH NAME generated label. goddamn i was full of shit) I was so engulfed and obsessed with being eternally Gothic I was starting all my posts on Gnet with the letter G.
Pure insanity. But like I said, I got sent away and taught to be logical. Practical. There I became a far more punk and blatantly anti-establishment brat worse than I'd ever been as just a shy kid. It freaked me out to be torn away from my bedroom, pizza, and laptop.
I probably didn't get the help necessary as I was sent to a program that was incredibly corrupt built around emotionally draining of children and the manipulation of their parents. I was quintessential bait, even though I didn't share the problems of the other kids [drugs, legal troubles, etc.]
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Ah, I remember those days as well when I was quite the lurker and the flame wars were quite horrendous. Didn't join until after a lot of them left and things settled. Humane_Pain still stops by occasionally, yet I do miss Duckman's shitposting though. He was always pretty entertaining.
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My introduction to this site was in the wake of 0megag0th666. I liked his avatar, it was Alex from A Clockwork Orange. He was a basket-case son of a bitch troll, but as I'm getting older I feel like there was a phase of me that identified with that egomania.
I returned as Sinjob because there was no way in Hell I could deem myself as someone adored by all had I stayed on the account as Vyvian.
Seriously, you assholes would never let me live that down (talking to you, Gothicus_FaggitKiss) even if I was 13 at the time and had to find out over myspace years later that a group of you losers actually met up in the real world to hang out and talk shit about people from the internet on Youtube.
Behold this group of nobodies embarrassing themselves,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQVQjyY8TIQ
Cute, right?
After watching this video, post Vyvian. Post Goth. Post fucking loser at this point- I recognized Badteccy who I once thought was a good singer as a totally stupid fat bitch, Ophelia the most annoying bitch who'd totally been the practice girl in high school which led to issues and probably now does the whole free bleeding crap-basically an entire clique made up of mutual friends on the internet I thought were so cool made me realize I was just being Catfished.*
...But in the sense of, wow, they are so lame and I actually once felt intimidated by them. I mean, look at how awful this video is just all together. It's the classic 'they only hate you cuz they're jealous' sensation and at this point I was just glad at how much more exciting my life was and it didn't matter what people thought. I'd finally reached the level of indifference some mistake for maturity. Imagine how separated you must be to actually partake in the essence being of this conversation.
sup mello
the only other enigma I can compare this site to is Alcoholics Anonymous. 
