krazy Kristian Kyle

[Reiko]

There's some typos...sorry I hope you enjoy this read.

I was out and about
being a good little girl scout.

I was heading down at the starbucks
where my friends were causing a muck.

The waiters didn’t mind.
They thought it would end in time.
Besides, they weren’t disturbing anyone.
So, it was just fine.

However, that didn’t stop a man
with an overly done tan come by.

He was a bit too clean cut
with his hair short and a flat gut.

He hesitated at first to come up.
What with our dyed hair,
torn clothing and what not.
We did look like we could screw him up.
So, a friend simply smirked and said, “Sup.”

“Hi, my name is Kyle.”
He said with a cute smile
which I knew was a bit guile.


But, like the good rockers that we were,
We didn’t judge Kyle until he was heard.

“Do you think you are good person?” He asked.
He tried to sound nice,
but he was starting to be an ass.

“Yeah…I think I am.” One of us replied.
They rest of us looked like we had our tongues tied.
It’s cause we didn’t want to reply,
That’s why.

“Well, good man, have you lied before?
Has there ever been a person you hated and abhorred?
Have you cheated on a test to get a good score?
Have you broken rules you’ve ignored?
If yes, have you done them just to look hardcore?”

“Oh no” I thought!

I knew where this was going.
It’s was one those guys who appear
To be easy going.
That go tiptoeing,
on a public unknowing,
Who’s tempers they like to go blowing….

“If you’ve done these things once,
It will suffice
To say you are a bad person
Compared to the all mighty Jesus Christ.”

He went on….

“Yes, Jesus Christ,
Our beloved Lord and Savior.
It’s only through him you get saved
not just good behavior.
You will go to hell,
If you don’t aver Jesus as your Savior
And if go about with your misbehavior,
You’ll be doing yourselves a graver disfavor.”

My group and I did what we could do smile and nod,
To hear this man Prea-…
PUSH us information about God
We wished we could hit this Cod with a Rod.
Of course all I could say was, “Oooh God.”

“See, there you go using God’s name in Vain.” He says.
“Has it ever occurred to your brain, that when you complain,
You are doing as something terrible as selling cocaine!”


I did my best to hold my tongue,
My best friend smiled, “You say anything you won’t have one.”
I thought, something had to be done,
Or else I will shot this guy with a gun.

Then he went on.

“You don’t realize that hell is an eternity,
The bible is the only true word and decree,
You’ll see.”

I thought, Please, you don’t shut up, I will hurt thee,

“Satanist, Homosexuals, Withces, and Catholics!
Fornicators, drug addicts, and Alcoholics!
Jews, Muslims, the Pope, and even Buddhist…
Don’t forget, Loud mouth women, feminist, and the creators of chick flicks!

Not only that,
the way you dress,
Is quite the mess.
It’s not proper,
It seems like your trying to regress.
You like devil worshipers I must stress.”



“What if we dress in black or just in rainbow colors? We like it, it doesn’t bother.”
“You have to look appropriate, just like any other.”


“What about women who work than stay home home?”
“They are going to hell because they are leaving the kids at alone.”

“What if I just believe in God.”
“The Devil believed in god, you smelly cod!”


“What if I’m also a Catholic working woman with two healthy growing babies.I give to the poor and work for charities?”
“You will burn I believe!”

“What of good children who have never heard of Christ.”
“They two are going to hell alright!
Unless you follow Christ you cannot atone,
Your changes of going to heaven will be blown.
This is the Only way.
That’s all I have to say.
I am right and other paths are wrong.
That’s how it’s been all along!”

My friends kept making suggestions,
But there was no question,
He kept showing us much aggression.
His way was the only way…
This was a depressing session.

“Evolution is wrong too.
Creationism is the way to do.
Six days was how God went through,
Evolution is nothing but poo!
No way we came from monkeys,
Or else I would be swinging the trees,
With more ease,
And be covered with loads of fleas.
You are all idiots for not realizing this.
You are missing out on eternal bliss.
You are going to end up in a life of fire
After your bodies retire.”


“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” I yelled.
My mouth could no longer be held.
The vain’s in my forehead were beginning to swell,
“Stop telling us we are going to hell!
You Pompous ass telling us you’re the only way!
That you are somehow the better person on this day!
Your nothing but a wax covered Jar of Clay.
If you know your bible well, that’s a big insult you might say!”

“So you know your bible I see?
I am so pleased.”

“I see you don’t you jerk,
Trying to get non suspecting people to convert!
Jesus taught us to love and to respect,
You are just being a pushy little insect!
What of Children who brought up with good morals?
Will they given horns instead of Laurels?
If you can’t already tell,
By your standard, babies are going to hell.
But, I guess that’s okay…o well!
You seem to have a lot fun pointing those fingers,
But I bet that when you’re alone inside your pants they linger!
You are just a big of sinner if not more,
I bet you secretly go around preaching to whores,
Just to see what they have in store
As soon as you close the door…
How is it that there are six billion people on earth,
There’s only one religion we have to follow at birth?
How is it the Christianity is good and everything else is worst?
However, wasn’t Hinduism the one thing that came first?
In fact, you keep telling us the evolutionism is a piece poo,
but a 6 day created universe thought isn’t coco?
Why not see that creationism is evolution?
I think that’s a better solution.
As I recall, the time of God is slower than the time of man.
That a day for God may be thousands or millions years for a human…
Do you understand?
I bet you follow the king james version Bible you prick!
I heard that version mistranslates the Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic!”

The man tongue was tied.
He didn’t know how to reply.
I knew he trying to come with something inside.

I went on.

“My, my, how is it that you can pick
on your cousins the Muslims, the Jews, and Catholics!
Your skull must really thick and filled with hard bricks!
First off, Why is it that Catholics are going to hell?
They were here first, you protestant were the ones who rebelled!
Muslims and Jews have similar start too!
They believe in the creation of Adam and Eve to be true!
In fact, both do not doubt Jesus exist,
But, I can tell you must insist
To deny them Enternal bliss!
As I recall,
With Christianity,
You must love all!
That, you musn’t cast judgment,
And give punishment.

Wasn’t Jesus who said, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone”?
Or I am making that I up on my own?

It is people like you that make others want to turn their backs,
And give Christianity many attacks.
I remember telling a pastor, God Loves you….I think.
He didn’t turn red or pink.
He didn’t get offended
He took as a joke and thought it was splendid.

He just said “God does love me and he loves you.”
Now that’s what you are supposed to do.

Show us that good Christianity can do.
But, telling us we’re going to hell all of sudden is just bunch-a-poo.

Besides, Every else here can concur
you attract more flies with honey than with Vinegar.
So next time you go and preach about Jesus Christ.
Let us know the good he did
Instead the bad news alright?