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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

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Old 08-30-2009, 02:38 PM   #1
Duane
 
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The Soledad

There is one thing that I've learned over the years, and that is the price
for true happiness is steep. For the first while it may not be worth it, but
it is, it always is. Most days I spend my time diving, oh to dive, it is true freedom at it's greatest, that's what I feel, anyway. I remember the first
time I dived, all of those dolphins swimming around like dogs running in a
park, I had my doubts about this journey but they were put to rest after
the dolphins. Diving is nice, but reading is my true passion, I have a little
makeshift library in my room on the boat. Right now I'm reading "Of Mice
and Men", it always hit me right there, especially the end. It leaves a hole
to kill someone you love, it leaves an even bigger one to let them be killed
by someone else

Short story I'm working on, what do you think?
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:04 PM   #2
JCC
 
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It feels pointless. I mean, there are grammatical errors that irritate me too but I could excuse those if it just felt like this was going anywhere. You like diving, you like reading. Great.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:16 PM   #3
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Any advice on how I could fix this, than?
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:22 PM   #4
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Make sure that you've got a plot before you show anyone anything from the story. Nobody will be interested in your vague and plotless introduction by itself. Go and work out what happens.
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Old 08-30-2009, 03:31 PM   #5
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I can't decide, all the ideas I have sound like hallucinations one might have if they ate some bad mushrooms, or something out of a bad romance novel.
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