Feel free to point and stare

[TheLaughingCorpse]

Ah...don't you love that feeling you get when you join a new forum? That irrational terror gnawing at your belly like a sewer rat as you hope to God someone has enough compassion to talk to you?

Yeah, me neither. But introductions must be made, so here I am. I'm The Laughing Corpse, but you can shorten that to Corpse or LC, etc. Pleased to meet you all and I hope I can carve a cozy niche for myself here. (I brought a spork for the really heavy carving work.)

I'm a writer of fantasy with horror, humor, and other elements to it. I'm in the process of polishing the 5 or 6 novels I've done so far so I can sent them out to be ripped to shreds by jaded publishers soon. If Laurell K. Hamilton and Neil Gaiman had a mildly neurotic and less talented lovechild, it might very well be me. :P My dayjob is actually installing fiberglass insulation on ships at a shipyard. I'm a construction worker--got a hard hat and everything. You'd think there'd be more lanky goth girls in that line of work, but oddly, I haven't found any. :P

I'm from a mythical land called America, and am about twenty minutes from the Mexican border. I can see the ocean when I step out of my apartment, and if a tidal wave ever hits, I'll be among the first to die.

Favorite authors include: Laurell K. Hamilton (if the username didn't give it away), Stephan King, Nancy A. Collins, Terry Pratchett, Charlaine Harris, R.A. Salvatore, and Jacqueline Carey.

Among the movies I own are 300, Legend, House of 1000 Corpses, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Labyrinth, V for Vendetta, and Underworld.

I don't expect to find anyone insane/suicidal enough to actually marry me, but I guess I'd play "As the World Falls Down" by David Bowie. Or, hell, maybe "Closer" by NIN. That's pretty much my idea of romance anyway.

I'd like to have an honest-to-God New Orleans jazz band play me a funeral march. As for the way I die, I'd opt for the ever-romantic being drained dry by a ridiculously hot vampire, but would settle for dying in a way so bizarre that everyone couldn't help but laugh. Sort of like the man at my work who died while answering nature's call in a Porta-Potty.


I've always fancied those old-fashioned, vaguely people-shaped coffins. I'd want everyone at the funeral to write or draw something on it. Why? Dunno. Just sounds cool and sentimental.

I don't really have a favorite outfit. I do love my top hat, though.

Not having to pay bills or work 40+ hours a week was definitely the highlight of being a kid.

There are simply too many bands for one to be ruler of my heart. I love any music that invokes any emotion in me, whether it be goth, punk, classical, blues, Indian, country, whatever.

I am but a high school graduate. But I'd love to take some literature and psychology classes.

This site seemed reasonably laid back and inviting, without the usual accusations of "poser" and "conformist" or whatever BS judgements people come up with being slung around. Plus, I'm just lonely and haven't really interacted with any other goth/random funky people lately. Please love me. *puppydog eyes* :P

For the record, I am indeed female.

*looks at enormous introduction*

Did I mention I love to ramble?

[HumanePain]

Well, a writer! Welcome! I look forward to reading your writing in the Literature forum! And Underworld? Another plus! Open minded about music? ANOTHER plus!
You are a welcome addition to our community.

[Valerius]

Oh! I like you already! You're like... an aid package dropped from a helicopter down to a starving, conflict-wracked nation!

[TopHaggardDoll]

Hey, welcome to Gnet.

You seem excellent, so I hope you have fun here.

[Bete Noire]

Welcome

You will be a welcome addition

A couple of tips:
-The trolls are everywhere, very useful for honing flaming.
-The whores are in the cupboards over there, sorted by gender, height and number of STDs.
-Give me your top hat or my head shall asplode.


That is all

[LadyLucretia]

Welcome. Your articulateness is appreciated, and girls who work construction rock.

[obscurite_beautee]

A very nice introduction, the intro caught my eyes....Loved the body and the conclusion....I really admire your humor! I am really looking forward into seeing more of your posts...Have a nice stay here...

[Methadrine]

*points at his shade-covered eyes with two fingers, then point at LC*

Mhm.

*nods a 'welcome!'*

[delicti]

Welcome to g-net.

[Ishkabibble]

Yay! Anybody who can write quite fluently and beautifully is welcome in my book. ^_^
Please do enjoy your stay and I look forward to reading your future posts.

[TheLaughingCorpse]

*devours friendly welcomes head-first*

Thank you all. ^_^ I'm off now to go catch up on more threads and perhaps deposit a few posts in them while hopefully avoiding the trolls I noticed. I'd sharpen my claws on them, but I've found threatening and bickering with people over the Internet to be much like cyber sex in chat rooms: a pointless waste since they're likely halfway across the world from you. :P

By the way, I haven't found a way to put a signature up for myself. There wasn't any link I could see in the User CP either. Was that feature disabled, or does it have to be earned?

[Methadrine]

Originally Posted by TheLaughingCorpse

By the way, I haven't found a way to put a signature up for myself. There wasn't any link I could see in the User CP either. Was that feature disabled, or does it have to be earned?

Earned. Keep posting.

[d.Nox]

Sigs are disabled until you reach ... 300 posts? Something like that.

I've always fancied those old-fashioned, vaguely people-shaped coffins. I'd want everyone at the funeral to write or draw something on it. Why? Dunno. Just sounds cool and sentimental.

The wooden ones, or the mummy-sarcophagus-looking cast iron ones from the early 1800s? Because those are tres chic, AND they keep you looking minty fresh.

[††BlackRose††]

Welcome to the boards!!! You seem to a very interesting person. I wish you all the best for your novels.

[TheLaughingCorpse]

The simple wooden ones, but the cast iron ones sound nifty. Honestly, though, I've told my family they can just toss me over the back fence when I die--I'll be beyond caring. Well, theoretically. Or they can have me stuffed and prop me in a chair out on the porch and put a newspaper in my hand. I actually think I'd like that. *goes off to add that to will*

I shall look forward to 300 posts then.

[Necropolis]

I'm a huge Salvatore fan, so you're ok in my book.

[d.Nox]

Or they can have me stuffed and prop me in a chair out on the porch and put a newspaper in my hand.

I'm fond of the idea of being a decoration myself. Though I'd go for a huge formaldehyde tank in my heirs' living room. Though I'd probably need to will them huge sums, which I don't have, and add said tank as a condition.

Oh, and welcome to g.net! You seem nice.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

Welcome to the forums!

Wish I could think of something more witty to say, but I can't....

Enjoy your stay. =)

And gosh, you are a welcome breath of fresh air from the hoards upon hoards of trolls that seem to be leaking into the forums. I'm thrilled to know a new forum-goer here actually has a brain bobbing about in their skulls.

Oh, and I'm a writer too! Wonderful to know there's yet another one here. I do romance-horror fiction, though I haven't done any professional novels yet. Honing my grammatical skills before I whip up a new manuscript for my book...

Mm, in the meantime I think I'll just stick with flash cartoons. Once I learn how to use this tablet and the program itself.... *continued to ramble on as she wandered absent-mindedly out of the thread.*

[kimaru]

yes, yes, very good indeed...may you have many a pleasant conversation.

[PutridLily]

Hello, I like you.

Well, what a lovely introduction! I'm sure you'll get along fine here. It's very nice to see someone else with a passion for writing.

Also, I'm currently taking English literature and psychology (after a grave change of decision), so kudos.

Oh ...tell me, where would one find a ridiculously hot vampire? *Goes off to look for one*

[biohazard]

Welcome to the boards!

[Steppenwolf]

NIN+Underworld+rocky+S king+A writer


Delighted to see someone like you here .

enjoy and wellcome .

[Anarasha]

*points and stares*
HEY! You said yourself that I could do that :O
You seem like a good person
I admire your ability to find the energy to write anything with that kind of work.
Underworld rocks I didn't really like UW: Evolution though -.- Ruined it.
I bid you welcome (despite being new myself :P)

Edit: If you didn't notice.. I love to use "" :P