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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
06-04-2010, 04:21 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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To A Woman.
I have little doubt
Your peony pout
Is the reason I'd bring you flowers.
If you agree, (as it's appropriate to me)
I see my attraction's core on your mouth
Waxy; you'll bend.
Pliable. Flexible when warmth is applied.
Oily when you slick over and stick onto
Me. Underneath my fingernails,
You won't wash away.
I wouldn't put you in anything but red.
They crushed beetles once for lips like yours.
Lastly, and I'm only teasing--alcohol.
Won't you let me come over?
Won't you let your lipstick join the rings
Collecting between my legs?
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06-04-2010, 09:45 PM
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#2
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Perched on a near-by building
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
I have little doubt
Your peony pout
Is the reason I'd bring you flowers.
If you agree, (as it's appropriate to me)
I see my attraction's core on your mouth
Waxy; you'll bend.
Pliable. Flexible when warmth is applied.
Oily when you slick over and stick onto
Me. Underneath my fingernails,
You won't wash away.
I wouldn't put you in anything but red.
They crushed beetles once for lips like yours.
Lastly, and I'm only teasing--alcohol.
Won't you let me come over?
Won't you let your lipstick join the rings
Collecting between my legs?
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Is this serious? Or a private message to a certain someone?
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06-04-2010, 10:03 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: hamilton
Posts: 37
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ok have yous herd this one?
Tale of a Gothic Princess
Princess Dominica looked so beautiful
All dressed in black
With white make-up and dark purple lips
She sat on the throne so full of majesty
The onlookers were dazzled by her beauty
And worshipped the ground she walked upon
The King was not well
And expected to die soon
And the Queen had died long ago
So the young princess would soon rule the Kingdom
Everyone was impressed with her intelligence and grace
She carried out her duties without question or complaint
And she would always greet new visitors with a smile
Once the audience was over she would return to her rooms
In the privacy of her own room she would cut her wrists
And let the blood pour into a bowl
She would force food down her throat until she could eat no more
Then she would go to the lady’s room and be violently sick
Underneath all her garments she was painfully thin
She felt so much pressure to be beautiful
She had many suitors but none that she loved
A stranger from abroad arrived one day
And stole her heart
But he was not a suitable match for a princess
A handsome sailor of common stock
She pleaded with her father to let her marry
But he doggedly refused her request
One night she took the blade
And slit both her wrists
Not a cry for attention
But an attempt to take her life
Living was a torment to her
The expectations too high
The rewards lacking in true value
Her dead body was found the next morning
And all the towns folk mourned her death
The beautiful princess had departed this land
And headed off above the clouds
To find a happier resting place
A traditional Gothic funeral was held
To celebrate her life
Many fine words were said
And then her body was buried
Under a thousand red roses
Her Cousin Isabella was now next in line
And took over the royal duties
A heavy burden for a fifteen year old to deal with
“So many souls are sacrificed on the road to glory”
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06-04-2010, 10:06 PM
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#4
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Perched on a near-by building
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiddo
ok have yous herd this one?
Tale of a Gothic Princess
Princess Dominica looked so beautiful
All dressed in black
With white make-up and dark purple lips
She sat on the throne so full of majesty
The onlookers were dazzled by her beauty
And worshipped the ground she walked upon
The King was not well
And expected to die soon
And the Queen had died long ago
So the young princess would soon rule the Kingdom
Everyone was impressed with her intelligence and grace
She carried out her duties without question or complaint
And she would always greet new visitors with a smile
Once the audience was over she would return to her rooms
In the privacy of her own room she would cut her wrists
And let the blood pour into a bowl
She would force food down her throat until she could eat no more
Then she would go to the lady’s room and be violently sick
Underneath all her garments she was painfully thin
She felt so much pressure to be beautiful
She had many suitors but none that she loved
A stranger from abroad arrived one day
And stole her heart
But he was not a suitable match for a princess
A handsome sailor of common stock
She pleaded with her father to let her marry
But he doggedly refused her request
One night she took the blade
And slit both her wrists
Not a cry for attention
But an attempt to take her life
Living was a torment to her
The expectations too high
The rewards lacking in true value
Her dead body was found the next morning
And all the towns folk mourned her death
The beautiful princess had departed this land
And headed off above the clouds
To find a happier resting place
A traditional Gothic funeral was held
To celebrate her life
Many fine words were said
And then her body was buried
Under a thousand red roses
Her Cousin Isabella was now next in line
And took over the royal duties
A heavy burden for a fifteen year old to deal with
“So many souls are sacrificed on the road to glory”
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No, haven't head it.
Makes you feel sad, doesn't it?...
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06-04-2010, 10:16 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: hamilton
Posts: 37
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yes my dumb ass sister once slit her wrists because she wanted attention on my graduation day the little bitch
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06-04-2010, 10:18 PM
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#6
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Perched on a near-by building
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiddo
yes my dumb ass sister once slit her wrists because she wanted attention on my graduation day the little bitch
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Actually slit them? Or gave them a bad scratch?
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06-04-2010, 10:36 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: hamilton
Posts: 37
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she slit we sat in the emergency room of the hospital for 10 mins with a blood stained rag.
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06-04-2010, 10:46 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: hamilton
Posts: 37
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trust me her boyfriend never went near her after that .me and my friends laughed so hard we could not breath i know i am a bitch but my friends love me for it.
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06-04-2010, 10:56 PM
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#9
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Perched on a near-by building
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiddo
trust me her boyfriend never went near her after that .me and my friends laughed so hard we could not breath i know i am a bitch but my friends love me for it.
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I am missing something.
Laughed?! You must tell me why,
before I call you anything.
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06-05-2010, 12:22 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: hamilton
Posts: 37
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because she was never familiar to the feeling of lonesomeness like i am
any way she was always a bitch i took her place because people love me and think my bitchy-ness is funny coz my Lil sis is the only one i make fun of but it's not bad coz if it was she would not laugh with us.
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06-05-2010, 12:46 AM
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#11
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Perched on a near-by building
Posts: 93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiddo
because she was never familiar to the feeling of lonesomeness like i am
any way she was always a bitch i took her place because people love me and think my bitchy-ness is funny coz my Lil sis is the only one i make fun of but it's not bad coz if it was she would not laugh with us.
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Well, that explains it.
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06-05-2010, 01:21 AM
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#12
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: hamilton
Posts: 37
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i know right?
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06-05-2010, 01:29 AM
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#13
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Perched on a near-by building
Posts: 93
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You should get along very well with d03py.
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06-05-2010, 01:37 AM
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#14
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: hamilton
Posts: 37
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why. why do you say that
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06-06-2010, 05:56 AM
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#15
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by M.Valdemar
Is this serious? Or a private message to a certain someone?
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It is serious, it's also written to a specific person.
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06-07-2010, 05:34 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 123
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Haha, sometimes I wonder if the overall IQ of gothic.net is decreasing, or if it's just that when I leave I forget how stupid you all are.
I like the poem UO. Nice tone.
It doesn't say very much, though I guess that's the point.
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06-07-2010, 05:58 AM
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#17
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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I'm a simple man. I like lips.
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06-07-2010, 08:18 AM
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#18
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 222
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
I'm a simple man. I like lips.
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(!) At first, I thought that you were a woman, but anyway... The mood of this poem is rather sensual with inuendos thinly masked. My favourite lines are:
Waxy; you'll bend.
Pliable. Flexible when warmth is applied.
It's not the language of these two lines that I like so much, it's their subtle double meaning that adds depth to the poem. Well done.
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06-07-2010, 08:19 AM
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#19
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Thank you.
What didn't you like about it?
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06-07-2010, 08:31 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 222
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
Thank you.
What didn't you like about it?
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Actually, there's nothing that I dislike about it. Considering the subject matter, I'd say that your approach is quite bold (the last line is especially brazen), but that's what gives this poem its effect.
By the way, I haven't read any of your other poetry yet, but I'll take a look this evening.
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06-07-2010, 04:01 PM
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#21
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 20
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UO, I like it.
Kiddo, I don't even know what to say.
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06-15-2010, 11:41 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: The Wall...
Posts: 269
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFeatheredÆtheling
(!) At first, I thought that you were a woman, but anyway...
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Ophelia's homepage say's 'female', but I'm not going to ask. I don't care.
It's clear that you're very attracted to the subject of this poem. The lonely, lusty warmth of it--it would be disturbing, if I still had my innocence. I like it.
Good job.
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06-20-2010, 08:05 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: victoria british columbia
Posts: 112
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I can truly understand why kiddo's sister slit her wrist... it could be perhaps that her older sister is bent on destroying her.
maybe if you did not use sexist insults she might feel good enough about herself to live...next time, when she slits her wrists and actually dies
I hope you can find some solace.
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06-20-2010, 08:49 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Poor Ophelia, your thread got taken over.
I'm not going to critique it, like I said in another thread I'm pretty much sick of poetry altogether, but its pretty hot and I hope it got you laid.
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06-21-2010, 01:25 AM
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#25
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Smexyville, Colorado
Posts: 2,424
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To a woman: I envy your motherhood.
__________________
******
Be Kind
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