Town and Turret: The Tale of Castle Gothica

[HumanePain]

Thanks Ravenmother, but I am not happy with how I tried to describe Ed opening the door. I tried to make it suspenseful leading to when it opened, to try and make it scary, but I fell short of that effect.
:goes back and reads more Stephen King:

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

I don't give a fuck if anyone calls me a kiss ass.

It's getting filled with so much more suspense and I love it Humane. I am loving the twists, and I like the fact that my character is falling in love.

And adding gay characters to it is pretty frickin' sweet too.

[Tha Duckman]

[Cough] Ass lick [/cough].

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Excellent sir. Thank you for the comment on my avie, I just watched the uncut edition today.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Crying_Crimson_Tears

I don't give a fuck if anyone calls me a kiss ass.

It's getting filled with so much more suspense and I love it Humane. I am loving the twists, and I like the fact that my character is falling in love.

And adding gay characters to it is pretty frickin' sweet too.

Thanks Crimson.

You know, since you write too I value your feedback. I am actually competing with you believe it or not: your Shadow Realm has twice as many thread Views as any of my stories I have posted, in fact, your story is only exceeded by Literature Forum threads that are conducive to many views and are general in nature such as "Comic Books", "Edgar Allan Poe", "Vampires in Literature", etc.

In fact Shadow Realm is in the top 5 most viewed threads in the entire Literature Forum as far back as I can see going to early 2006. My stories are only in the top 10, but then I have 3 in the top 10 (yes, I 'm a blatant braggart!).

Again, thank you for your encouragement, it is very flattering to receive compliments from readers, but compliments from writers mean even more. Thank you! :hugs:

[HumanePain]

Follow up to my previous post: the statistics.

https://www.gothic.net/boards/showthread.php?t=9972

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

Wow, I didn't realize my story was getting viewed that often. I didn't even think it was good at all. I think you far exceed my abilities in writing Humane. But thank you.

Please keep going.

[Duane]

If I was a quarter as good as you are, Humane, people would actually like my poetry.

[HumanePain]

Chapter 19

A lonely mansion on a barren hill, surrounded by darkened forest.

Silence. Not even a breeze disturbed the house. It was like a morgue.

The painful chasm that was left when the kidnapper severed the bond between Dawn and and her toddler son Brandan was more than a void. It left the mother in the depths of despair. She didn't care about anything anymore. She would stare out the window, or just into space. She felt as though a part of her died.

And the dead don't eat, they don't speak, they don't sleep. All she did was breathe and stare. All day and all night.

Noir was very concerned for her friend, and worse, felt completely helpless; nothing she said or did helped the depressed mother or evoked a response. Even though the police were vigorously looking for any clues to Brendan's whereabouts, and were telling Dawn to hold off paying the ransom, that they would soon find him, it seemed a futile effort. The ransom note had said to pay the money within 1 week or the child would be killed. Half the week was already gone. Dawn had stopped funding the anti-recall effort in preparation to pay the steep ransom, but Noir didn't mind, the child was more important than the recall. If only there was something she could do! Something that would give her friend hope!

She hoped to receive a reply soon, not only from her suffering friend, but from someone else. Someone more powerful, that might be able to save the child. Someone with the power of prediction.

She had sent word to the Castle immediately after she involved the police. It had been almost a full day. Where was Von Paine?

..................................................

Early the next morning after Noir's visit to the Raven Estate had discovered the kidnapping, Crimson had awoken her father with the news. His face looked grave and his forehead furrowed with three deep wrinkles as he considered this tragic event.

"I did not foresee that the enemy would stoop so low, but it is logical." Von Paine said as he slowly looked up from the bed at his daughter.

"Fetch Renatus. The two of you meet me in the Library."

By the time Crimson had awakened Renatus from the guest room, and he had thrown a robe on to walk to the library, Von Paine was dressed and ready.

"Good Morning Sir."

"Renatus, it is not a good morning. Close the door and follow us." Von Pain turned and began walking towards the large gold framed mirror.

Rentus, still sleepy but becoming more aware since hearing the news of the kidnapping from Crimson, was confused. They were in the Library.

"Follow you ...where?" Then he had his answer.

Von Paine reached for one of the many gold leaves of the vine that made up the mirror frame design. But the leaf he touched moved.

The large mirror that almost hung to the floor and was at least eight feet high slowly swung open revealing a staircase. A staircase that went up.

"Come Renatus my boy, we have work to do. It is time." Von Paine stepped over the short height of wall leading up from the bottom to where the frame had been. Crimson stood by the open mirror and gestured for Renatus to enter first. She obviously had been through this hidden door before. He followed Von Paine, and heard Crimson climbing the narrow wooden steps behind him, his eyes becoming accustomed to the dimmer light as she closed the mirror from inside the stairwell. There was sunlight coming from above.

[HumanePain]

Damn, I spelled Renatus as Rentus and spelled Brandan's name right the first time but spelled it Brendan the second time. Damn that 5 minute rule!

Anyway, hope you all enjoy this latest chapter.

And thanks Duane.

[HumanePain]

Chapter 20

As Renatus reached the top of the stairs, he saw Von Paine walk ahead of him into the large room. It was the top of the Castle Turret. The ceiling was the large round cone of the turret roof, and the entire room was encircled by stone wall. But the stone wall was only four feet high. Where the sloping cone of the roof came down to the wall, the ceiling did not touch the stone, but seemed to overlap it, and the sunlight was seeping in from between the back of the stone wall and in front of where the ceiling sloped beyond the wall. Somehow there was no connection, as if the roof were floating over the wall.

There was a small table in the center, with pairs of various silver and brass goggles, glass lenses thick and out of focus. There were several glasses and a bottle of wine, and a crucible, with mortar leaning to the side, and small vials of black powder. But the most interesting thing on the table was a small electric device of some sort, vacuum tubes mounted on top, and switches and dials in a control panel. Several pairs of wires were connected to the device, many, many loops coiled on the table with unconnected ends capped with shining copper strips, and one pair of cables went over the edge of the table to the floor underneath, where they terminated on the top of a large battery.

Crimson went to a large lever on the opposite side of the circular room from the stairway entrance, and looked at her father. Von Paine nodded, and she pulled the lever. A low but powerful humming could be heard, as some huge motor somewhere engaged. What happened next disoriented the young man.

Renatus had been standing close to the table in the center of the room with Von Paine. But now, as he looked up at the sudden motion, the entire roof began to rotate clockwise. At first he was not sure if the roof was rotating or the room was rotating below the roof. Lack of motion in his feet confirmed it was the roof that was turning.

As the roof rotated, he began to realize it was also rising. Somewhere in the roof supports were large threads. The roof was unscrewing!

The sunlight grew brighter, and now he could see why the light formed a ring about the room wall top: the cone of the roof was mounted a large crystal ring, thick, heavy glass that sparkled and blazed as the roof and ring rotated.
It was not just a window, the entire base of the cone was one continuous window, a single cast ring of glass. But it was not just clear glass. Everything beyond the glass was blurry, out of focus.

The roof continued to rise until at last the ring was fully exposed, a foot tall strip of colorful light brightening the room from 360 degrees. Renatus was unaware his mouth was open. He turned to look at Crimson.

She was standing by the lever, and let go to walk towards them by the table.
She was still wearing her robe too from waking early at the news this morning. He could easily see her hips and legs in silhouette through the sheer robe in the blazing light. He looked up to see her face smiling at him.

"Should I connect him father?"

"Yes my dear, but do not turn it on until we drink."

Von Paine drew the crucible towards him and picked up one if the vials. He twisted it open and sprinkled granules of black powder into the bowl and began grinding it with the mortar. Renatus thought he smelled the scent of coffee.

Crimson walked over and faced Renatus. She smiled and grabbed the shoulders of his robe and peeled it back over his broad shoulders, catching Renatus off guard.

"What? What are you doing?" He looked nervously at Von Paine.

"It is ok my lad. Purely clinical procedure." And the old man nodded.

Crimson echoed her father. "Yes, purely clinical." She peeled back the robe until it hung on the robe's cloth belt at his waist.

Crimson then picked a small jar of clear gel and opened it, and set it down. Renatus was watching her as she scooped gel on her fingertips, and then touched his abdominal muscles, just below his ribs. His heartbeat began to speed up as she worked the gel into his skin with her fingertips.

Crimson, observing details, could hear and see his breathing increase, and could see the skin about his neck flush with red. But she also enjoyed seeing his strong muscles, and could see the morning beard on his jaw and temples, he hadn't shaved yet.

Renatus could see Von Paine pour the finely ground black powder into the wine glasses, three of them. Whatever it was, it looked like all three of them would be drinking it, so he put aside any fear of poisoning. Von Paine opened the wine and poured.

Crimson had now picked up the copper ends of the very long wires from the vacuum tube device, and was attaching it to Renatus' abdomen where she had applied the gel. She used white medical tape to hold them in place.

"Now you connect me." Crimson peeled own her robe over her shoulders, revealing a black lace bra, deep cleavage revealing her breathing, peeling it down until she too stopped at her robe's belt. Renatus was staring at her navel.

"Yes, the same place. Come now, I don't bite."

Renatus recovered his sense and connected Crimson with another pair of wires. She stiffened her stomach so he could press down on the medical tape, but her skin still felt...soft.

She then turned around and connected her father as she connected Renatus.
Then Von Paine and Crimson picked up their respective glasses of wine.

"Let's drink up Renatus, and I shall explain." And he gulped the dark drink. Crimson was sipping hers, but sipping fast.

Rentus picked up the glass and smelled it. Wine all right, but with a scent of pungent coffee. He sipped it. He had expected the wine to be sweet, but with the black powder it seemed a bitter, almost a metallic taste. Von Paine began.

"In my travels I discovered in Peru a hybrid coffee that contained a mutant molecule of caffeine with amazing properties. I became very fond of it and brought some home. While experimenting with a completely different line of research one day, I happened by chance to have drank some of this coffee, and found an enhanced effect of both my research and the coffee. We are drinking an even more concentrated form of the stimulant. You will see first hand the effects." Renatus could already feel his heartbeat increasing, his breathing becoming shallow and quickened.

He then handed a pair of brass lensed glasses to Renatus.
"Put these on." As he did so, Crimson put on a silver pair, and Von Paine another pair, made of black anodized metal.

Renatus adjusted the fit, and instantly realized he could now see through the giant ring window of the turret, everything was not only in focus, but magnified!

There was the club, with Bete-Noir unlocking the door to prepare for the day's work. There was the town chambers, with Molly McKenzie and her chauffeur setting up the table for the day's recall activity. There was a treetop, with a bird nest containing eggs, robin's eggs!

The ring window was a giant lens, and the goggles provided the focus. But that was not all.

"Crimson, turn it on, and set it to power level three. There are three of us now connected as an electrical load."

"Power level three father." She clicked the switch and turned a knob to the requested level.

[HumanePain]

Chapter 21 (only because Gnet doesn't allow posts more than 10,000 characters, otherwise it still would have been the end of Chapter 20)

"Crimson, turn it on, and set it to power level three. There are three of us now connected as an electrical load."

"Power level three father." She clicked the switch and turned a knob to the requested level.

Renatus felt the high frequency electrical shock at the electrodes, not painful but mild. The frequency with which the current alternated began to tingle his stomach and internal organs, and he began to feel like he was on a roller coaster! Rushing into his bloodstream was adrenaline, stimulated by the electrical pulses, increasing his heartbeat, pouring oxygen into his muscles, but most of all increasing his awareness, his thoughts quickening and reducing the outside world to slow motion.

He could see Von Paine looking out at the town, and so stared in the same direction: Molly and her chauffeur talking, but not only could he see that they were talking, he could understand the words that must have been forming on their lips! He couldn't hear, but could see her say "Go to the Club and bring me a salad for lunch later, I don't want to wait until the lunch crowd comes at noon and have to wait."

Renatus looked at Von Paine to see the old man looking back at him with a smile.

"Rather amazing isn't it?" Renatus could only nod. He turned his heightened awareness to Crimson. He froze.

She was staring back at him. He could see her rapid breathing, her blue eyes staring at him with communication, but at a level that wasn't conscious. There was a question in her eyes, her lips then parted slightly, as if she was going to say something, then he perceived her closing them again in hiding, fearful of something being revealed. He could see her pulse in her throat, her white neck looking vulnerable. He wanted to step forward and grab her, to kiss her, to bite her neck. Every nerve was aware of her, and he then knew she was considering him as a mate.

Crimson had watched the town many times before with her father, he had been training her since youth so that by the time she matured, she would have skipped all the decades of training her father had gone through. But now this was a completely new and overwhelming experience!

She was not looking at the town, but looking at someone in the same room: Renatus, with his robe peeled down, his chest and abdominal muscles breathing rapidly, and his dark eyes staring at her, eyes so dark she could not see the pupils, even in her heightened awareness. She could see his muscles frozen in restraint: he was consciously holding back a natural impulse. Adrenaline in high quantities was driving him to take action, his heightened mind was commanding inaction. His whole body was in contention.

Von Paine turned around to see why it had become silent. He expected shouts of awe from his apprentice, not silence. Perhaps the boy was stunned...

Then he knew what had happened. He should have foreseen it.

Male and female staring at each other, both in heightened physiological and mental state, enabling them to understand reality and each other to a dangerous degree.

There was Renatus, robe down to his waist, electrical wire hanging from his stomach, stiff as a statue staring at his daughter. And there was Crimson, her robe too down to the waist, wires dangling from her belly, staring back at the young man. Von Pained sighed.

The old man walked over to his daughter and pulled the robe back over her shouders. He gently turned her towards the ring window.

"What do you see my dear?"

Crimson began breathing again. "Uh...let me see..."

The gentle break in concentration allowed Renatus to turn to the town view as well.

"And you my lad? What do you see?"

"Everything..."

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by Ravenmother

haha...this was so very clever and funny.^_^. I almost thought that I would be reading nasty nasty...lol but you saved their good name. LOL. Love it...

Nope, sorry but that's not my style. I am not a "lemon/lime" writer. I love to write romance, not porn.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

I think romance would much more appropriate than porn for this story anyway.

Humane, I like this "machine" you have created. The way you describe it and describe what they see it's like I'm there. I love it.

[HumanePain]

Thank you Crimson. I was going to end the story soon as the major character arcs and motives will be intersecting, but maybe I will make it a continuous story even though it will take a lot of work to keep it going and still make sense. Even though I never enjoyed soap operas, I am beginning to appreciate the job those writers did in maintaining characters throughout a continuous plot. Difficult! A sequel would be easier.

But thanks! Your feedback keeps me going!

[HumanePain]

Chapter 22

Von Paine, Crimson and Renatus had been rapidly scanning and searching the entire city all morning and now it was approaching midday.
Renatus felt tired. Crimson was still gazing out the lens window, as was her father. The young man began to look around for something to sit on, and seeing there were no chairs, he sat on the floor.

Von Paine heard Renatus shuffling to the floor and turned to see him bend his head down with eyes closing.
The old man touched his daughter's shoulder and pointed to Renatus.

"Shut it off my dear, we are used to it but Renatus needs rest. He is probably out of adrenaline by now."

Looking up as he heard Von Paine speak, he was in time to see Crimson walk past him to the table, and knew he must be exhausted: her gently flowing female form was beautiful to look at, but he preferred to look down and rest. He felt the electrical pulses cease as Crimson turned off the device.

Von Paine stooped over Renatus to inspect him closer.

"The adrenal glands can only produce so much. Over time they will be conditioned to produce more and more, but for now you must rest." He placed a gentle hand on the tired shoulder of his apprentice and then took off his goggles.

"Help him downstairs my dear and have him lay down on the couch. I will be down in another hour or so."

Crimson bent over and reached around his back and with unexpected strength lifted him up from the floor. They slowly walked together to the stairs.

Von Paine walked to the table, and changed the load setting to 1, and turned it on again. He resumed his gaze outward. He had not seen any clues in the entire visible town so far, not in the conversations, not in the movement of people and motorcars, everything was accounted for and understood. As the generator pulses began to stimulate his adrenal glands again, his instinct became stronger. Who had been the driving force behind the recall? Who had the motive to attempt assassinations after other methods had been tried? And then he realized: who also knew of the power of the turret, and wanted it? And further: who would know that a kidnapped child must be hidden where the turret would not see? Realization dawned over the old man. Not in the town, but in the countryside! He resumed his gaze and enhanced scanning, but now he searched the forest.


..........................................


Crimson pushed open the mirror and helped Renatus over the low wall and back into the Library. They walked to the couch by the fireplace where he lay down with relief and a sigh, eyes closed before his head lay on an ornamental pillow. The midday sun was dimmed and diffused by the red drapes covering the windows. Crimson thought sleep was best, so she decided against opening the drapes and sat on the couch next to Renatus.

She would never again look at him the same way. They had seen each other as no one in the world ever had: every detail visible, every movement a clue to the other's observation. She knew he wanted her, and she knew that she wanted him. But yet there had been no conversation between them directly since the generator had been turned on, only words had been exchanged with Von Paine.

What would he say when he wakes? What would he think of her now? She looked at his face.

Her memory instantly recalled his open eyes, the timbre of his voice when he spoke, his chest and shoulders, his hair...it was too much, she got up to leave.

His hand grabbed hers as she stood up.

"Don't go. Please." She turned to look down at him. His eyes were still closed, but his arm reaching out to her seemed desperate, his voice calm but...pleading.

She sat back down. He opened his eyes and looked at her, still holding her hand. He firmly but gently squeezed her fingers and began caressing them. His head lifted a little, tendons and muscles in his neck straining.

"I want you to know that before the wine, before the window, before the...the machine, I...they didn't make me ...I already..."

Crimson knew what he was struggling to admit. She placed her finger on his lips.

"Shhhh. I know. I knew it since the Club." He lowered his head back down into the pillow, eyes closing, then opening again.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever known." He squeezed her hand.

Crimson didn't say anything. She bent over and kissed him. When her moist lips met his, he no longer felt tired, he no longer wondered about what had happened in the turret. He reached around her back and pulled her to him, reached a firm hand around the back of her neck, sliding his fingers through her hair and back down the nape of her soft neck to between her shoulders, feeling firm tone under soft skin. She had held herself up against the couch, but now in his arms she placed her hands on either side of his face, felt his strong jaw, felt his beard, and felt his chest against hers. The passion that had been sparked upstairs was now let loose with fever and force...

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

Oooooooooo, I like it. The details give me shivers.....

[HumanePain]

Thank you Crimson and RavenMother, but rereading it this morning, "You're the most beautiful girl..." sounded corny. Cliche'. I need to find a more original way for Renatus to admit his affection. :slaps own forehead: doh! And I haven't even used the word "affection"! THAT was what's missing! I have a long way to go. My verbal recall skills need a lot of work. But thanks anyway.

[HumanePain]

I just copyrighted this story on FictionPress!

Go me!

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Exclamation points for the 10 character limit.)

[HumanePain]

"Ahem!"

Crimson jumped off the couch and turned around when she heard her father "clearing" his throat. Realizing she was blushing, she quickly turned to look at Renatus behind her. He leaned up on an elbow and straightened out his robe but remained mostly lying on the couch. He feigned that he was still "recovering".

Von Paine turned around and closed the Library mirror door, and took his time so that the young couple would have time to compose themselves. He then turned and walked to the desk and poured himself a brandy. Looking at the fireplace as he spoke, he kept a calm and normal voice as if nothing had happened.

"Thank you Renatus for participating in a rather unexpected experiment. It seems perception and awareness are not the only human senses that are enhanced while under the influence of my combination of stimulants and optics." He paused and then looked at them. "Apparently, mating instincts are affected as well."

Crimson took her father's lead and tone in the scientific appraisal of what happened.

"Yes father, to an obviously high degree. I think we should study this again, with proper metrics measuring our physiological changes of course."

Von Paine smiled. He had trained his daughter well.

"Of course, an excellent suggestion my dear. We'll measure and graph heartbeat and respiration for starters."

Then Von Paine look sternly at Renatus. The young man swallowed nervously.

"We must contact the Mayor right away, and also contact the police."

Now Renatus was very nervous. "Why?"

"Because I know where the child is."

Crimson and Renatus looked at each other.

"Get up and get dressed both of you. We are going to Eagle's Canyon."

[HumanePain]

Yeah, I know it was brief but I just wanted to get the muse percolating again now that the...distraction... is gone. There will be more this weekend, it's almost over! (whew!) Then I can begin work on the sequel although...I am still tempted to make it a continuous project. I imagine it reaching 100,000 words! (sigh) That would be the pinnacle of my writing career.

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

It was a short chapter, but it was cute with a nice touch of humor and a nice surprising twist to end it.

It leaves me craving more.

[Duane]

HP... I'm working on 2 novels... well, they be on hold. Hm, anyways, do you have any tips on how to write a decent novel?

[HumanePain]

This particular story, Town and Turret, should give you one example on how to write a novel: reach inside yourself into your own experiences and people you have met, people you know. Town and Turret gave me a chance to act upon the personalities here on Gnet: previous to the story, you posted about how lonely you were, how hot chicks insulted you, how unattractive you thought you were etc., so I gave your alter ego a "Ladies Man" persona, interfacing with many women, and even in a position to portray the hero by taking a bullet for The Mayor. Crimson is a very good friend of mine, I consider her my adopted daughter, so it was natural that I portray her as my daughter in the story. Duchmann was an an evil ass and posted gay porn links all over the place, so it was natural to portray him as a gay ass. MollyMac loved duckman and had a wild cyber affair with him here on the forums so it was natural to have birds of a feather flock together and paint her character as a partner in crime with Duchmann, and also to paint her as cunning, always a step ahead of the law, and able to seduce and manipulate men with her sexy self. The real MollyMac is a femme fatale, don't you agree? And of course, I portray myself in expected egotistical manner as the sage Von Paine, with worlds circling about his Obi Wan like head, a classic archetype. So thinking in these terms, take the people you know, but put them in an extraordinary circumstance (as I did using kidnappings, stimulation contraptions and dark castles) and you have the seeds for thought for writing a novel.

I could go on and on (being a writer of course), but I am sure if I make this post too long, people will just skip over it, which most probably do anyway.

Oh, and another thing that helps: have you ever wanted to play God? Do you ever wish you could control reality, to make things different? Then use that as the underlying motive to write. When I have a rough week in real life, that is when my muse is in high gear, I want to escape into a world of my own making, where Love wins the day and Evil loses, unlike the reality whee Love breaks hearts and causes suicides and Evil wins because, as MollyMac is fond of saying, "Good is dumb".

Good luck with your novels, and POST SOME OF IT HERE! Ok, I'll shutup now.