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11-26-2007, 09:58 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Proof of God
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the professor
shared
it with his colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we
now
have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as
they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in
Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and
pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year
that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and
take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two
must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already
frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
kept
shouting 'Oh my God.'
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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11-26-2007, 10:44 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: "Under the silence in dreams"
Posts: 1,446
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Hmm - I've seen e-mail versions of this story - it's pretty funny.
__________________
This is the strangest life I've ever known - Jim Morrison
Alas! Must it ever be so?
Do we stand in our own light, wherever we go,
And fight our own shadows forever? - Edward Bulwer-Lytton
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11-27-2007, 12:21 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, BC
Posts: 1,949
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Hahahah
Wow
__________________
Better to be strong than pretty and useless
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11-27-2007, 01:33 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: In AL, which sucks
Posts: 500
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Awesome....
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11-27-2007, 05:24 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NoVA
Posts: 5,290
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Niiiiceee..... 
__________________
Autonomy Not Uniformity
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11-27-2007, 05:29 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: At work.
Posts: 842
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Old, but still hi-LAR-ious!
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6.
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11-27-2007, 08:50 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,041
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LOL!!! OMG he got an A+ for that? That looks like 100% bullshit. May we all produce bullshit good enough to get that type of grade. :P
__________________
"Man, know thyself, and thou wilst know the universe and the gods."
~ inscription at the Temple of Delphi
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11-27-2007, 09:44 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 619
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ††BlackRose††
That looks like 100% bullshit.
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-_- *sigh*
I think this kid should have gotten an A++!
Bet the teacher didn't expect that kind of answer!
lol!
Funniest story I've heard in weeks
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11-27-2007, 12:59 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 1,888
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A++ is not high enough a grade for that kid. Fucking. Brilliant!
__________________
Harry
A prank a day keeps the dog leash away - Jello Biafra
I want your skulls! I NEED your skulls! - Misfits
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11-27-2007, 01:05 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,332
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Unfortunately, while the whole thing still is bastardly funny, it's utterly flawed. I let you guys figure that one out for yourself though.
__________________
Wasted forever, on speed, bikes and booze.
"Meow. Mew. Mrow. Maow? Miaox." - Lovely Delkaetre speaks cat.
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11-27-2007, 01:25 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: London
Posts: 3,231
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I remember reading that years ago... still love it, though.
I think it's had a rewrite since I read it, though, I seem to remember the heat exchange theories being written in differently.
__________________
The noblest sentiment I have encountered and the most passionate political statement to stir my heart both belong to a fictional character. Why do we have no politicians as pure in their intent and determinedly joyous in their outlook as Arkady Bogdanov of Red Mars?
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11-27-2007, 01:49 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, BC
Posts: 1,949
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Still this kid is just awsome
__________________
Better to be strong than pretty and useless
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11-27-2007, 10:04 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
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Would you guys believe me if I told you I was the student who wrote that?
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11-27-2007, 10:23 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: "Under the silence in dreams"
Posts: 1,446
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How will you prove it?
__________________
This is the strangest life I've ever known - Jim Morrison
Alas! Must it ever be so?
Do we stand in our own light, wherever we go,
And fight our own shadows forever? - Edward Bulwer-Lytton
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11-28-2007, 12:09 AM
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#15
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 52
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I won't have to, I just need to brainwash everyone.
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11-28-2007, 09:29 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,095
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First time I read this, but funny as hell. Anyways, if hell does exist it is not necessarily a physical location...
__________________
††A tisket, a tasket, a victim in a casket.††
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11-29-2007, 09:38 AM
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#17
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Bard College
Posts: 256
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Sadly, this fellow and Descartes seem to have suffered from a belief bias.
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12-01-2007, 07:44 AM
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#18
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: England, South Glos, Bristol
Posts: 1,459
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...lol xD...
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Boobies make me smile 
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12-01-2007, 11:40 AM
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#19
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bliss
Posts: 4,374
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Yeah "Hell" is actually a misinterpreted part of Revelations, refering to the lava cravas that the bad people are thrown in to. However, now people have new intell on the incident, so fewer people believe in Hell. Now Hell is getting smaller, but fewer people are going there.
Therefore, I believe that Hell is growing smaller at a slower rate than people are going there. So Hell will break loose.
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I Like Cheese!
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12-06-2007, 04:40 PM
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#20
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Northwestern Washington
Posts: 921
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I just applied to the University of Washington. Heh.
__________________
It is time, it is high time... Yes, but to do what?
--Friedrich Nietzsche
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12-06-2007, 11:45 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Kalamazoo, Michigan
Posts: 70
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by ††BlackRose††
LOL!!! OMG he got an A+ for that? That looks like 100% bullshit. May we all produce bullshit good enough to get that type of grade. :P
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Well, he DID specifically refer to a definition of Boyle's law, and since most people answered using a recitation of said law, he's proven that without the fun story he still could've answered the question correctly... I'm going to have to try to incorporate an anecdote with all of my answers now, during finals week next week.
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12-08-2007, 03:53 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 951
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But do souls have mass?
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12-08-2007, 05:50 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Inland Empire
Posts: 277
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Wow, a lot of you guys are happy about this shit? Psht.
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12-08-2007, 10:21 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Paigeybobert
Wow, a lot of you guys are happy about this shit? Psht.
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No one asked you
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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