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Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
07-07-2012, 03:26 PM
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#51
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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I'm giggling like a school girl, MOAR PLEASE. I'm like the Castiel to Versus's Dean
I do have one nitpick though
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child
SAYA: That’s true. [shrugs serenely] But on the flipside, you’d be able to sleep.
VERSUS: [shrugs ruefully] I’m sleeping now. Aren’t I.
SAYA: [shrugs back] Sure thing. Your call. [takes a step closer as he watches with mistrust] You need to stay sharp, though. There’s a war coming.
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Just made me picture us standing there, shrugging at each other.
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07-07-2012, 04:46 PM
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#52
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 708
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I'm not quite sure how seriously to take this. Zombo was all-out balls to wall comedy, but this keeps looking like getting for-real dark before falling back to dick jokes. I'm wondering if it's going to stay caught between the two like this, or eventually veer all the way onto the side of seriousness or absurdity as it progresses? (I'm also wondering if I'll get to fire a rocket launcher, but that's more of a side-issue.)
__________________
"Friends are allowed to make mistakes. The enemy is not allowed to make mistakes because his whole existence is a mistake, and we suffer from it. But the women's liberation front and gay liberation front are our friends, they are our potential allies, and we need as many allies as possible.” - Huey Newton
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07-07-2012, 06:38 PM
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#53
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CuckooTuli
I'm not quite sure how seriously to take this. Zombo was all-out balls to wall comedy, but this keeps looking like getting for-real dark before falling back to dick jokes. I'm wondering if it's going to stay caught between the two like this, or eventually veer all the way onto the side of seriousness or absurdity as it progresses? (I'm also wondering if I'll get to fire a rocket launcher, but that's more of a side-issue.)
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I'm kind of in the same boat. Making war funny is very difficult, lately.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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07-08-2012, 09:16 AM
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#54
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saya
Just made me picture us standing there, shrugging at each other.
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The dumb thing is I actually took out like 3 more shrugs after realizing how much I overuse them. It's a weird-ass bad writing habit... shrug addiction. Pound never wrote an essay on how to avoid that one... some fuckin' literary hero HE turned out to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuckooTuli
I'm not quite sure how seriously to take this. Zombo was all-out balls to wall comedy, but this keeps looking like getting for-real dark before falling back to dick jokes. I'm wondering if it's going to stay caught between the two like this, or eventually veer all the way onto the side of seriousness or absurdity as it progresses? (I'm also wondering if I'll get to fire a rocket launcher, but that's more of a side-issue.)
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Yeah... I'd like to pretend it's a stylistic choice building up to something clever, but the truth is, it's just a tonal inconsistency - the storyline for this is bastardized from something else I'm writing which is way less slapstick than Gnet fanfic, and although none of the dialogue and only some of the storyline is the same, I guess I just keep falling back into a darker tone. In retrospect using that storyline was probably a mistake, as I think there may wind up being so many plot-strands it starts getting hard to follow. I guess I'll see how it goes and if I can simplify it further. Hopefully I'll find my feet and the comedy will start to come more naturally as I settle into it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Versus
I'm kind of in the same boat. Making war funny is very difficult, lately.
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Ahh shit, sorry dude. I did actually wonder if all the war talk might be too much, but I guess the whole soldier thing is such a big part of your online persona here in terms of the way you approach discussions, I thought I might be able to get around it by having you be a "soldier" in the Supernatural/Buffy/insert monster show sense. If it's falling too close to the bone though I'll tone it down - I sure as shit don't want to awaken bad memories over some crappy online fanfic. This is supposed to be entertaining after all, so just slap me upside the head if it starts getting a little too dark in here. I guess I got carried away and forgot there's real shit bound up in all the stuff I'm screwing around with for you. Sorry about that.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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07-08-2012, 12:58 PM
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#55
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child
Ahh shit, sorry dude. I did actually wonder if all the war talk might be too much, but I guess the whole soldier thing is such a big part of your online persona here in terms of the way you approach discussions, I thought I might be able to get around it by having you be a "soldier" in the Supernatural/Buffy/insert monster show sense. If it's falling too close to the bone though I'll tone it down - I sure as shit don't want to awaken bad memories over some crappy online fanfic. This is supposed to be entertaining after all, so just slap me upside the head if it starts getting a little too dark in here. I guess I got carried away and forgot there's real shit bound up in all the stuff I'm screwing around with for you. Sorry about that.
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I meant my fanfic.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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07-08-2012, 02:42 PM
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#56
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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You're kidding me... I just used up my earnestness quota for the YEAR on that post. I had real fucking guilts and everything.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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07-08-2012, 03:45 PM
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#57
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child
The dumb thing is I actually took out like 3 more shrugs after realizing how much I overuse them. It's a weird-ass bad writing habit... shrug addiction. Pound never wrote an essay on how to avoid that one... some fuckin' literary hero HE turned out to be.
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I'm teasing, I think everyone has that thing they repeat too much, I say "though" too often. Just seeing it in people who write better makes me feel a bit better XD
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07-08-2012, 03:54 PM
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#58
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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If it helps, I'd rather not be seen as "soldier guy" because I think it lends itself to dismissing the other aspects of my life and personality, but I realize I do become a caricature at times... so I feel it's a fair criticism. It's just that PTSD isn't very funny and is kind of depressing for me to read about, even if it isn't really me. I'm sure other people get a kick out of it, though, so it's whatevs.
It's like if MissCheyenne's character was upset about all the shit she's gone through in life. My guess would be that it would probably bring her down a little.
So I appreciate your sensitivity even though I wasn't going to say anything.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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07-08-2012, 04:02 PM
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#59
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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On a side note, I'm thinking about casting "the bad guys" as zombies so it's easier for me to write about blowing them up. Or maybe I just won't write about that at all, and everybody misses and nobody dies.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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07-08-2012, 05:34 PM
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#60
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Versus
It's just that PTSD isn't very funny and is kind of depressing for me to read about
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Second this. PTSD is a bitchwhore that never gets off your case.
You can get past it V. Hang in there.
Ohh and Apathy, put V in a miniskirt. He's got the legs to carry one off
__________________
"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
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07-08-2012, 06:21 PM
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#61
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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What are you, my fucking life coach? Thanks for the protip even though I just fucking said I don't like that kind of attention.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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07-09-2012, 06:11 AM
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#62
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Versus
What are you, my fucking life coach? Thanks for the protip even though I just fucking said I don't like that kind of attention.
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Darling, if I were your life coach, I'd have said something meaningful or remotely useful not a throw away line meant as polite support.
I seriously need to stop being nice to every turnip on the internet.
__________________
"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
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07-09-2012, 09:30 AM
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#63
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Feel free to throw any of my issues in the storyline, I'm kind of past the point where they bother me.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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07-09-2012, 11:52 AM
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#64
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fruitbat
Darling, if I were your life coach, I'd have said something meaningful or remotely useful not a throw away line meant as polite support.
I seriously need to stop being nice to every turnip on the internet.
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You know, a simple apology might be better then trying to get the last word in. But whatever. Make blanket assumptions that I have PTSD. That seems to be the trend.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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07-10-2012, 04:12 AM
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#65
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 708
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child
Yeah... I'd like to pretend it's a stylistic choice building up to something clever, but the truth is, it's just a tonal inconsistency - the storyline for this is bastardized from something else I'm writing which is way less slapstick than Gnet fanfic, and although none of the dialogue and only some of the storyline is the same, I guess I just keep falling back into a darker tone. In retrospect using that storyline was probably a mistake, as I think there may wind up being so many plot-strands it starts getting hard to follow. I guess I'll see how it goes and if I can simplify it further. Hopefully I'll find my feet and the comedy will start to come more naturally as I settle into it.
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Oh, I didn't mean I don't think it's funny - just that it's not the all-out parody of the Zombopocalypse one and is quite different in tone. It's not necessarily a bad thing; just passing comment.
I still wanna fire a rocket launcher.
__________________
"Friends are allowed to make mistakes. The enemy is not allowed to make mistakes because his whole existence is a mistake, and we suffer from it. But the women's liberation front and gay liberation front are our friends, they are our potential allies, and we need as many allies as possible.” - Huey Newton
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07-10-2012, 08:56 AM
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#66
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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I hope I'm full on whiskey drunk. Drunk is my greatest state of being.
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I am your slice of pie
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07-10-2012, 09:31 AM
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#67
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 3,812
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You'll like your character in my fanfic, MC. Total hardass. Her only weapon; belt-fed vengeance.
__________________
Woke up with fifty enemies plottin' my death
All fifty seein' visions of me shot in the chest
Couldn't rest, nah nigga I was stressed
Had me creepin' 'round corners, homie sleepin' in my vest.
-Breathin, Tupac.
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07-10-2012, 09:32 AM
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#68
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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I love it already.
__________________
I am your slice of pie
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07-10-2012, 11:22 AM
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#69
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 729
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*waits for more story*
And I seem to be in this one. If it eventuates I hope my death is messy and glorious, many lulz will be had.
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07-10-2012, 11:47 AM
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#70
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Versus
If it helps, I'd rather not be seen as "soldier guy" because I think it lends itself to dismissing the other aspects of my life and personality, but I realize I do become a caricature at times...
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Yeah, that's pretty much it. There's so much more more to all of us than our online personas... I mean, there's more to Saya than feminism, more to Cuckoo than socialism, more to MC than porn, more to Jilly than anarchy (probably), and I'm not really down with parodying people in the same way as before. I reread the first few posts of the Zombapocalypse the other day and frankly, my treatment of Saya's character made me uncomfortable - even though it was pure joshing and she knew I didn't really mean any of it, I'd feel pretty grubby writing that kind of stuff nowadays. I think I'm turning into a hand-wringer... age is beginning to make me think that there's really precious little in the world that's genuinely funny without also being uncomfortable or mean in some way. Growing a social conscience is the goddamn death of that kind of juvenile fratboy comedy. I need a new thing.
Cuckoo: I can't imagine why you'd need a rocket-launcher when you can kill demons with yr bare hands, but if you've really got your heart set then maybe I'll see what I can do. (Also, there goes the hippie angle I had you down for. ;p )
MC, if being a hardass is your biggest wish, I think you'll be well satisfied with your part in all this. That background you're currently in? Short-term.
Oh and Sol - you have issues? Damn, your superpower was supposed to be what I always thought was your level-headed brand of super-sanity.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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07-10-2012, 11:49 AM
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#71
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Acharis
*waits for more story*
And I seem to be in this one. If it eventuates I hope my death is messy and glorious, many lulz will be had.
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I'm not really sure how your character is going to end up yet. You'll have to post more to help me out with that.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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07-10-2012, 12:13 PM
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#72
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child
Oh and Sol - you have issues? Damn, your superpower was supposed to be what I always thought was your level-headed brand of super-sanity.
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You know things are a little fucked when the manic-depressive who has been in and out of therapy since she was 7 (for various reasons) is labeled as being the level headed one, although to be fair I'm not on here much when I'm manic, too busy climbing trees or chasing butterflies.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
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07-10-2012, 12:30 PM
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#73
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: A ship called Dignity
Posts: 1,919
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child
MC, if being a hardass is your biggest wish, I think you'll be well satisfied with your part in all this. That background you're currently in? Short-term.
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Sweet. I always wanted to be an action hero
__________________
I am your slice of pie
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07-13-2012, 05:04 AM
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#74
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: In your trash can
Posts: 2,594
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Versus
You know, a simple apology might be better then trying to get the last word in. But whatever. Make blanket assumptions that I have PTSD. That seems to be the trend.
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They were meant that sometimes one finds themself in a physical place they do not wish to be in, and it can feel like an eternity in that location, but it will soon pass.
I apologise if my words were taken the wrong way. I do not think you have PTSD. It is not my place to make that diagnosis.
__________________
"Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle." - Plato
Help me, I'm holding on for dear life
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