General anxiety, panic attacks, hypochondria

[MereMortal]

My panic attacks have become daily occurrences and are deeply disturbing to me. Nearly everything will cause me to panic. Old movies, darkness, quiet, children, old people, clocks. Anything that reminds me of time passing.

On top of that, my hypochondria is in full swing and I'm fairly convinced I've got a brewing aneurysm, brain tumor, or end stage cancer somewhere. I'm scared to go to sleep in case I don't wake up.

My panic attacks have never been this frequent, and there was only one time in my life where my hypochondria was this severe. I'm scared for my life almost 24 hours a day, and I'm so tired.

I'm going to see somebody as soon as my new insurance kicks in, but in the meantime-does anybody else relate to me at all?

[Acharis]

Yeah. It's a bitch. Is it possible to go to your normal doctor and ask for medication to hold your anxiety until you can get to talking therapy (this might dial down the intrusive thoughts), or perhaps they can find you a more affordable therapist?

In the meantime there is stuff like online counselling or Seven Cups Of Tea.

[Saya]

I don't really have helpful advice, but totally been there. When my anxiety was at it's worst, I was hyper aware of how much time was slipping by, and it depressed me. It still kind of bothers me.

[Anise]

Relate? Yes I so relate <3

I've had issues since childhood, worsened in teens and since my early 20's I've been on meds. The nightmare journey of meds o.O

Try this, if it doesn't suit .. we'll prescribe another.
Then another .. and down the rabbit hole you go

The despairing thing is that healthcare professionals don't actually experience it, they read it out of books. The DSM literature gives them the model for the affliction and lists pharmaceuticals that are reputed to aid or rather lesson and alleviate. But the meds prescribed often perpetuate the condition, heighten the symptoms .. so it's a deluge to find 'feeling better' and so disheartening and lonely to be administered care from a someone who really doesn't fully comprehend the living hell that you experience day after day .. after day.

Meds are not catered for individuals, they are a general consensus thrown your way .. so IF a certain medication isn't suiting you, or is having adverse affects don't feel awkward about relaying that info to your doc. Hopefully you can find something apt quickly, some do .. some don't; for some individuals it's trial and error. Therapy .. particularly talk type therapies .. CBT etc, either with or without pill help, that is the path to 'well' <3

Promise you these things ..
You may feel alone, but you aren't .. 1 in 4 babe.
Mental Health issues are greatly prevalent, it's sadly stigma that prevents us sharing the facts of how we are feeling or coping.

Also .. this will & is going to change!
You won't battle this forever, it will subside and you will get better.

Lastly .. you will be so much stronger for having both experienced this and for overcoming it. This .. what you're feeling, is NOT weakness.

Breathe, this is going to get better xxx