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Fashion DIY tips and gratuitous plugs. And hair. Hair! Flow it, show it. Wait...no. That's some hippie musical. Nevermind. |
04-20-2013, 01:08 AM
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#1
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 7
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Goth guy or goth girl
Do you think goth guys get more harassed than goth girls? Why?
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04-25-2013, 05:49 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: michigain
Posts: 10
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guys
Because nobody cares when girls do it but when a guy goes to school with eyeliner all h*** breaks loose
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04-26-2013, 04:00 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hell, it's other people & both of them are you
Posts: 1,001
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Yes.. poor guys. They have to put up with so much.
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04-26-2013, 04:12 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: michigain
Posts: 10
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Not saying girls don't. Just in my expirence iv had it worse at my school.
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05-04-2013, 03:09 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 23
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In my experience people tend to go easier on Goth girls as we leave high school, whereas Goth guys continue to get random comments from strangers on the street. I think there's an overarching perception that female Goths are just a bit 'dark' and 'romantic' whereas male Goths are 'weird', especially if they wear makeup. It's sexist, and stupid.
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05-04-2013, 03:17 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: michigain
Posts: 10
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I got tired of it so I stoped wearing the eyeliner but I'm ganna start again
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05-04-2013, 03:21 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Scotland
Posts: 23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zarcon
I got tired of it so I stoped wearing the eyeliner but I'm ganna start again
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You should! I wore black lipstick outside for the first time ever this week and it was a great feeling – to just look the way you want to, regardless of what other people think.
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05-04-2013, 03:56 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2,932
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You look that way already because of expectations you have on other people having by looking the way you do.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KissMeDeadly
You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
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real classy
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05-04-2013, 04:47 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: michigain
Posts: 10
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Yeah I know!
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05-14-2013, 08:13 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: canada
Posts: 32
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I wish all the boys that wanted to would wear guyliner. it's hard enough trying to distinguish a goth boy from an emo from a rockabilly from a rivethead if boys are intimidated into wearing black jeans and black tshirts. please, for the love of picky single chicks everywhere, please dress nicely and express yourself.
that is to say, yes, boys have a rough go when it comes to goth fashion.
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06-07-2013, 02:15 PM
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#11
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 6
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Guys because i get exactly that in high school
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06-07-2013, 06:39 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Well see the thing is that goth girls get harassed only slightly more than any other girl, its just about her being goth instead of something else but guys aren't used to being harassed so the harassment of goth guys is more noticeable.
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-Carbon Leaf
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06-13-2013, 11:04 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Smexyville, Colorado
Posts: 2,424
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This is such a complex issue. I think it would depend on the kind of harassment we're talking. I think gothy type ladies get sexually harassed more, because of the stereotype that goth girls are easy. When I go out dressed to the nines I get a lot of unwanted sexual attention/groping that I otherwise would not have to endure.
When gothy type boys get harassed it is because they are not performing masculinity the way that our society has prescribed, but instead perform things that our society has assigned to feminine performance like wearing skirts and makeup. Therefore they get crap because they are perceived as being more feminine and not masculine enough.
When it comes down to it, the ugly truth is that either set of problems stem from the same assumption by our society that the feminine is lesser than the masculine performance. So, if you're already a lady, one's bodily autonomy and boundaries are respected even less, and the gentlemen are ridiculed for purposefully expressing in a manner that is feminine and therefore lesser than what is expected of them.
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Be Kind
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06-13-2013, 01:25 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 729
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^ So much this. Sometimes being a goth lady is no fucking fun at all.
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06-29-2013, 08:06 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Scandinavian living in the Orient
Posts: 35
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I remember when I lived in England and went out for drinks with my friends. I was wearing a black dress (from Hell Bunny I think) and my Gothika boots and we ran into a guy from work. He looks at me from top to bottom, then up again (ugh), then smiles and says: "Wow. You look like a hooker." The funniest thing is that I wasn't showing anything, the dress went down to my knees and my boots went up to my knees... and the dress wasn't revealing at all. He later told me it was the boots that made him think that AND (this is hilarious) he said that being called a hooker was a compliment! Just wow. Now when I think about it, where I lived, I was the only one (that I know) dressing in alternative clothes. I never saw anyone else who did. Still, it doesn't give him the right to say to anyone that they look like a hooker... -_- Jesus fucking wept.
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06-30-2013, 05:53 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 729
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Yep. As a female you're going to get sexualised hassle, and for a lot of goth girls that goes double.
Ps. Your workmate is a pig. I hope he doesn't say anything like that to you at work.
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06-30-2013, 05:04 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Smexyville, Colorado
Posts: 2,424
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Fuck, I remember one time out walking trying to buy some cigarettes. Some little pre-teen wanker licking his lips "mmm I love goth girls"... fuck me... I'm old enough to be his fucking mom. *barf*
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06-30-2013, 06:56 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Scandinavian living in the Orient
Posts: 35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Acharis
Yep. As a female you're going to get sexualised hassle, and for a lot of goth girls that goes double.
Ps. Your workmate is a pig. I hope he doesn't say anything like that to you at work.
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Yes, he is. Well, at least he wouldn't say such things at work but instead, he would be very rude. I'm so happy I'm not working there anymore.
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06-30-2013, 07:02 PM
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#19
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Scandinavian living in the Orient
Posts: 35
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Ape descendant:
HAHAHA I've experienced something like that ONCE I think. :P First, he asked me if I had any cigarettes for him since he was obviously too young to buy any on his own. What could he have been, 12-13 years old?! I think I was twice his age at the very least. When he realised he wouldn't get anything from me, he said something similar to what you described (while trying to give me a "sexy" look or something). o_O
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07-01-2013, 01:15 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Hell, it's other people & both of them are you
Posts: 1,001
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Patriarchy.
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10-08-2013, 09:46 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 18
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Well, I obviously can't speak for the women, being as, well, I'm not a woman, but from my personal experience, it seems to be on equal ground for two distinct reasons. There is this mentality based in long-since-outdated social structures that men must be big and buff and "manly," by which of course I mean they are supposed to be hairy, with grizzled features, low-slung caveman brows, big broad jaws and chins, and huge muscles, and, in modern times, this also entails only wearing jeans and muscle-Ts. Broad generalization, yes, but it is the template from which it all flows. Therefore, any guy who instead opts to be "pretty" instead of "hunky" is girly and inferior or weak or some other shit.
Most goths in general get strange looks cast at them, but male goths tend to be given strange looks by both sexes equally, with contempt also being common from other men...or boys in adult bodies, at any rate. Women tend to be given strange looks mostly from other women, though not as much as goth guys get them from non-goth guys. Instead, women get the far more obnoxious kind of attention, the kind where because they style themselves darkly, they are therefore more sexualized.
It's just the nature of the coloration; dark is mysterious and seductive. Goth guys don't typically receive more attention from non-goth females because of their dress style, because men are supposed to be the seducERS, not the seducEES. One different letter is all the difference in the world as far as that's concerned. But...women are supposed be the seducees. Therefore, the more sensual nature of the dark attire and makeup and demeanor is alluring...and it's alluring to men. Who, again, are the seducers in our society.
Thus, goth women get the unwanted attention in the form of sexual advances. Now...I'm not going to pretend like I would find such a position to be unwanted. If girls were constantly making sexual advances on me because of it? You wouldn't catch me outside without being dressed to the nines in all the lace, velvet, fishnetting, nailpolish, eyeliner, and dark coloration I have at my disposal, but for women...that kind of attention is typically overbearing at best and scary or threatening at worst.
So the guys get mocked, insulted, ostracized, and jeered at. The women get catcalled, groped, and advanced upon by men they have no interest in.
From a subjective standpoint I'd say it sucks for both, and each gender is likely to think the other has it better in their form, but in truth, in the context of the genders themselves, it's equally as bad for each.
In a sense, Miss Absynthe has it fairly well-pegged. Androcentric basis of modern cultures is the cause of this kind of thing. We're victims of the past.
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10-09-2013, 05:51 AM
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#22
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 729
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Creed of Heresy
So the guys get mocked, insulted, ostracized, and jeered at. The women get catcalled, groped, and advanced upon by men they have no interest in.
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Not really. As a goth woman I've experienced both kinds of hostility. In addition to the sexual harassment I've also been followed by groups, jeered at for being a freak, had stones thrown at me, and once I was spat on.
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10-09-2013, 09:43 AM
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#23
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 18
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Well I'm not saying that that is how it goes exclusively, just for the majority. I never deal in absolutes. (That's for the sith-)
I would've beaten the ever-living shit out of someone if they ever started chucking rocks at me, and when the cops came I'd tell them I was fighting for my life because the person was assaulting me with a deadly weapon. I've seen that shit happen to goths a couple times, and it always happened in the more, shall we say, fundamentalist localities. Accusations of witchcraft and satanism and while correct in the former in regards to one, it's not like she was hurting anyone. Hit the poor thing right in the temple, split it open, she ended up needing to have 21 stitches. I started chucking shit right back at the fundiefucker and she ran off.
I always try to accept people for who they are...as long as they aren't hurting someone else. But some people just need to be lashed until their bodies have a close resemblance to raw hamburger.
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10-09-2013, 12:07 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 30
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I obviously can't speak for any male goths here, being female, but I receive a lot of harassment when I decide to go out in my full goth attire. Even though it consists of non-skimpy clothing (I live in Scotland for crying out loud), just the mere appearance of my choker, I get unwanted attention. Oh, and the black lipstick and eyeliner.
Oh, and get this. I was told, by the police after I'd mentioned (despite it being abundantly clear) that I was a goth, that I should have expected something like that to happen because of my "lifestyle" and how it "attracts the wrong attention". As if how I dress and what lifestyle I follow is an excuse for some asshat to not take no for an answer.
And I've seen female goths get a Hellatonne more harassment than male goths, perhaps not because they're goth, but simply because they're female. Or perhaps it's because men have it in their heads that goth girls are easy.
I dunno.
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10-27-2013, 08:55 PM
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#25
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Azarath
Posts: 112
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It's really hard to say. It's probably 50/50.
I have always been harassed for dressing like a feminine goth, however in more recent times I have actually been getting more complaments for my attire.
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