Rant Thread II - Page 343

Lilyth Von Gore · 12-08-2013, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fruitbat

LVG The issue is with your Grand Parents. If you ever have an issue as with the TV, just walk out of the room. No use in being polite if it's going to damage you.

sorry to hear you have PTSD and Clinical Depression. Be nice to yourself, even when others aren't, because it's all too easy to ride yourself hard and focus on the negative shite.

Is there a local support group where you can vent? Maybe keep a journal, and vent in there if that makes you feel safer.

I go to a support group called WRASAC. That's where the support worker I was on about is from. And I do indeed keep a journal, which she has read, and is frankly rather peeved at my Grandparents for their lack of wanting to understand.

BourbonBoy · 12-11-2013, 06:16 PM

Just because I'm willing to put up with shitty hours and pay doesn't mean I'm going to put up with shirt times for my lunch break.

Fruitbat · 12-12-2013, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lilyth Von Gore

I go to a support group called WRASAC. That's where the support worker I was on about is from. And I do indeed keep a journal, which she has read, and is frankly rather peeved at my Grandparents for their lack of wanting to understand.

Just because someone is related to you, doesn't necessary mean that they will automatically understand how you are feeling or how a certain event has impacted on you.

It sucks. Totally and completely, but there it is. The tricky thing is to find people who will support you during your hard time.

Just be kind to yourself. Because loving your own self, now that's the trick.

Fruitbat · 12-13-2013, 04:04 AM

Just learnt that a girl I went to primary school with has such wonderfully warm memories of a teacher that used to abuse me.

Fuck that for a joke.

Lilyth Von Gore · 12-13-2013, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fruitbat

Just because someone is related to you, doesn't necessary mean that they will automatically understand how you are feeling or how a certain event has impacted on you.

It sucks. Totally and completely, but there it is. The tricky thing is to find people who will support you during your hard time.

Just be kind to yourself. Because loving your own self, now that's the trick.

Yes, but I have tried explaining to them the situation every time it comes up for the past two years. The exact same thing using different approaches. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It's like it goes in one ear and out the other with those two and I am DONE trying. That's why I asked my support worker to explain to them. And Gods help me if she can't, because if she can't make them understand, I am out of options and then I don't know what to do.
They seem to think I should be over it. After only two years? I explained to them that there were survivors who were STILL in therapy after 6 years. They told my sister behind my back. I understand that they were trying to help, but they took away a decision that was mine and mine alone. I wanted to tell her to her face, but no. My Gran told her over the phone like she was gossiping. And when I confront her, she guilt trips me into apologising for something that SHE did. In my eyes she is no better than the asshole who took away my control over the situation I was in. That may sound harsh but it's true. My Grandparents need to realise that taking away my choice in the matter or my control over a situation is NOT the way to help me get better.

Acharis · 12-14-2013, 09:44 PM

I'm really sorry Lilyth. Things like this take however long they take, and your grandparents seem desperate for you to 'get over it' yesterday. It may be a form of denial and minimization to protect themselves from feeling like they can't help you, but it's really not doing your needs any favours.

I second just getting up and walking away from triggers. Talking about trauma with loved ones can unfortunately be like talking to a brick wall but take any opportunity to avoid/minimise exposure and care for yourself. Desensitisation by graded exposure may *one day* be on the table but there are proper ways to do it - it can't be forced! Is there anybody else you can stay with for a bit to get a break?

Fruitbat · 12-15-2013, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lilyth Von Gore

Yes, but I have tried explaining to them the situation every time it comes up for the past two years. The exact same thing using different approaches. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It's like it goes in one ear and out the other with those two and I am DONE trying. That's why I asked my support worker to explain to them. And Gods help me if she can't, because if she can't make them understand, I am out of options and then I don't know what to do.
They seem to think I should be over it. After only two years? I explained to them that there were survivors who were STILL in therapy after 6 years. They told my sister behind my back. I understand that they were trying to help, but they took away a decision that was mine and mine alone. I wanted to tell her to her face, but no. My Gran told her over the phone like she was gossiping. And when I confront her, she guilt trips me into apologising for something that SHE did. In my eyes she is no better than the asshole who took away my control over the situation I was in. That may sound harsh but it's true. My Grandparents need to realise that taking away my choice in the matter or my control over a situation is NOT the way to help me get better.

Unfortunately you can chose your friends, but you can't pick your relatives.
You can't change the way your grandparents behave, however, you can change your perspective on things.

Hell, I know that's easier said than done, but if you want to take control back over your life, over your triggers, over your feelings et al, then you need to change.

I flamin' triggered when I found out a classmate was singing the praises of the teacher who abused me. But then, I thought to myself, "Right that bastard had such a negative impact on my life - am I going to let him keep having a negative impact? Or am I going to be fucking brilliant, totally awesome and soar to new heights?"

Soar baby. Soar.

Solumina · 12-15-2013, 05:33 PM

Hawaii really is paradise but fucking hell we are broke. The worst part is that it's temporary brokeness (we'll be fine as soon as we get our tla) but we will be broke until after Christmas and I was really banking on a good Christmas making this place feel like home.

Saya · 12-17-2013, 09:27 AM

I think I can officially say that grad school is off the table. Fuck, I don't have the time to do an honors degree :/

Solumina · 12-17-2013, 03:23 PM

I'm sorry Saya

Azrath · 12-18-2013, 06:32 PM

Know what sucks? letting a friend use your computer only to realise that they wanted to try some retarded web myth and coming back to your room 'just' as they fuck your computer over and cause you to need to format and re-install everything.

P.S. I'm back!

Versus · 12-19-2013, 10:19 PM

Sometimes I get a glimpse of the bigger picture and it's really heart breaking.

Solumina · 12-20-2013, 02:20 AM

I know what you mean V. Sometimes you have to really search to find enough good in the world to keep yourself from going crazy.

Solumina · 12-23-2013, 01:33 AM

Gah bug bite on my toe! It itches so much, especially when I'm wearing something on my feet but my feet get cold so easily, especially when walking around on these tile floors.

Acharis · 12-24-2013, 12:53 AM

Everything is so frustrating lately. A lot is minor but some makes it difficult to get where I want to be in life.

TheLonelyGhost · 12-24-2013, 03:31 PM

Everything has been annoying me lately, I seriously need a vacation.

Jaye Jang · 12-25-2013, 01:51 PM

Because of my back-to-back-to-back shifts this holiday I couldn't spend Christmas with my family. Instead I had to 'spend' it with one of my coworkers, who griped because she had to work today. All I could think was, "So what. I had to work Christmas Eve, Christmas morning and I have to work again tonight." And I have the same schedule on New Year's. But, hey, I get to spend the holidays with my family next year. Yay!

Lilyth Von Gore · 12-25-2013, 05:27 PM

Does anyone else's fire alarm do that thing where when it's low on battery it beeps? Because mine does. And it ALWAYS does it at stupid o'clock in the Morning! Always!

BourbonBoy · 12-25-2013, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaye Jang

Because of my back-to-back-to-back shifts this holiday I couldn't spend Christmas with my family. Instead I had to 'spend' it with one of my coworkers, who griped because she had to work today. All I could think was, "So what. I had to work Christmas Eve, Christmas morning and I have to work again tonight." And I have the same schedule on New Year's. But, hey, I get to spend the holidays with my family next year. Yay!

Tell me about it. I was also on the receiving end of working nine hour shifts over this holiday season and still have some more coming up this week. The only day I've had off was Sunday.

Jaye Jang · 12-26-2013, 09:17 AM

Wow, BB. That's a bummer. The only day I'm getting off is half of Boxing Day (today) and I'm not even Canadian.

BourbonBoy · 12-26-2013, 06:50 PM

Yeah, so far the only thing that's gotten me the last couple of days has been my intake of beer. Tomorrow's when the back to business as usual shift starts at only eight hours with a single 30 minute break for lunch.

I so hate working retail and can't wait to get back into communications.

Acharis · 12-26-2013, 11:09 PM

I don't know how I feel. I just want to cancel everything forever and lie in bed.

Jaye Jang · 12-27-2013, 04:54 AM

I wish I could lie forever in bed, especially the way I feel today, but what else does one do with some time off from work (finally) but go pay bills and run errands. Won't be doing much 'running' today though, and the errands will have to wait until next week which is all my own fault. (My daughter did warn me that the kids were sick, but I just couldn't resist so now I'm paying for all those mini-hugs and kisses). But, the bills won't wait, so gotta go. Don't look forward to the trip. It's freezing, icy and there's that pea-soup thick fog to contend with. Yay.

Acharis · 12-27-2013, 09:11 PM

I have been hiding from the world but haven't been lying in bed like I wanted to. I've been dragging myself through the motions of eating, showering everyday, and cleaning the house back to a normal standard. Making progress for my efforts actually and feeling a bit better about myself compared to a few days ago.

I'm not lazy, depression had just suddenly hit back harder than normal and I was taken by surprise.

Jaye Jang · 12-28-2013, 05:28 AM

Acharis, I can totally relate. Fortunately for me, my insomnia/anhedonia has been with me for so long I don't need meds. Unfortunately, it does sneak up and rear it's ugly head occasionally, but CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) really helps.

I found doing this really helps for me, also:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2zRA5zCA6M

That and having people who understand...