the line

[horse]

standing on line at the free clinic
lost in thought oh G-d maybe i am maybe i'm not
Heaven help me for with this i can't help myself
I'm afraid they might say that poor man bless his heart
he messed around and got sick well i guess he should have known better
it's really too bad he had a whole life ahead now he's waiting now he's waiting to die because he messed around one time like a car crash a flash in a pan life goes
fleetingly like the mist in the morning or a dirty screw in the ally

[requiescant_in_pace]

This is cool. The puntuation is fucked, but we're all big kids here. I understand this story and I like it. You could fix the punctuation if you wanted. Infact, you should. Use the proper one in venues where you think it will make a difference.

Anyway I like the story. I think the last line is sweet and powerful.

[horse]

thank you I will try to use better punctuation in the future. At the moment i'm working towards my g.e.d., so please bare with me because there are a lot of rules in English i don't know.