 |

|
 |
Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
01-21-2012, 12:20 AM
|
#226
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
I can't wait to rea-
Wait a minute...
WHAT THE FUCK??!!!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
01-21-2012, 12:22 AM
|
#227
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
Goddammit Chirs_Morey...
Anyway, Thanks for the book, man, can't wait to read it. You have made internet history for this, sir.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
01-21-2012, 11:12 AM
|
#228
|
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
|
Despanan, I'd totally follow a blog of you just reading.
|
|
|
01-21-2012, 12:00 PM
|
#229
|
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
|
hahahahaha thanks for making me crack up at work, I really needed that.
__________________
Live a life less ordinary
Live a life extraordinary with me
Live a life less sedentary
Live a life evolutionary with me
-Carbon Leaf
|
|
|
01-21-2012, 06:30 PM
|
#230
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Dude, I don't even know where I live anymore.
Posts: 1,276
|
so much better than the facebook pics. Lol. Did he really send you the cloth spiders?
__________________
Caution, I may bite.
|
|
|
01-23-2012, 01:28 PM
|
#231
|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Sugar Hill
Posts: 3,887
|
A troll never tells.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by KontanKarite
I promote radical change through my actions.
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger
I have chugged more than ten epic boners.
|
|
|
|
01-24-2012, 09:13 AM
|
#232
|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 708
|
So on Friday, I got a postcard from the collection office telling me that there was a parcel awaiting delivery. I couldn't get it over the weekend because I was in London being awesome, so I grabbed my hat to ward off the rain and pottered on down there today clutching my notification card and my ID and my proof of address. I pootle through fifteen minutes of grim grey rain, only to be informed by the bitch behind the counter that they will not release the package.
I tell her straight out: it is MAH PACKAGE. But the icy-hearted wench with the rubber stamp is unmoved by my demands for what is owed to me, telling me I can’t take it because my ID doesn’t match the name given on the delivery address.
That’s right: she wants Mr. TINY FUCKING TIM to come and collect his parcel for himself, in person.
I explain to her that it’s a nickname. She cares not, simply repeating in her dead-eyed bovine monotone that either Mr. T. Tim, or somebody with ID to that effect, will need to come and collect the package, or she can have it redelivered to my address on Saturday.
Impossible! I tell her. This weekend I’m away in Brighton being awesome. And the package is too large to fit through the door, hence its current presence in this... office (I flicked a hand magnanimously at the tiny portacabin with its peeling paint and worn carpets). My nemesis is unmoved, as is her manager after her.
The next time you feel unloved in the Gnet, Chris Morey, know that today I stood in a portacabin for nearly half an hour arguing with my bovine albatross and her dead-eyed manager while wearing a falling-to-pieces bobbled hat my friends long ago dubbed the Red Horror, in honour of the things it has both seen and had spilled into it, and telling said dickholes how I came to earn the nickname Tiny Tim on the internets by claiming book-shaped spoils in the fall-out from the Troll Wars. All for the sake of your art.
I fought valiantly, but they were total jobsworth cunts, so it’s getting redelivered on Tuesday. I hope they get dysentery.
__________________
"Friends are allowed to make mistakes. The enemy is not allowed to make mistakes because his whole existence is a mistake, and we suffer from it. But the women's liberation front and gay liberation front are our friends, they are our potential allies, and we need as many allies as possible.” - Huey Newton
|
|
|
01-24-2012, 12:02 PM
|
#233
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Holy sweet mother of god. You had us all laughing so hard that we broke into coughing fits on the phone. This made all of our day(s). Well done.
Desp, hope you enjoy the book, and I'm going to have to ask you about using these photos on our website perhaps...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Despanan
SPIIIIIDDEEERRRRSSSS!
|
|
|
|
01-24-2012, 12:03 PM
|
#234
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Tiny Tim, I'm sorry to hear your nickname is causing you troubles. But in all seriousness, I guess we should have thought about that. Well, I hope you get your book today or sometime this week. Please keep me updated!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuckooTuli
So on Friday, I got a postcard from the collection office telling me that there was a parcel awaiting delivery. I couldn't get it over the weekend because I was in London being awesome, so I grabbed my hat to ward off the rain and pottered on down there today clutching my notification card and my ID and my proof of address. I pootle through fifteen minutes of grim grey rain, only to be informed by the bitch behind the counter that they will not release the package.
I tell her straight out: it is MAH PACKAGE. But the icy-hearted wench with the rubber stamp is unmoved by my demands for what is owed to me, telling me I can’t take it because my ID doesn’t match the name given on the delivery address.
That’s right: she wants Mr. TINY FUCKING TIM to come and collect his parcel for himself, in person.
I explain to her that it’s a nickname. She cares not, simply repeating in her dead-eyed bovine monotone that either Mr. T. Tim, or somebody with ID to that effect, will need to come and collect the package, or she can have it redelivered to my address on Saturday.
Impossible! I tell her. This weekend I’m away in Brighton being awesome. And the package is too large to fit through the door, hence its current presence in this... office (I flicked a hand magnanimously at the tiny portacabin with its peeling paint and worn carpets). My nemesis is unmoved, as is her manager after her.
The next time you feel unloved in the Gnet, Chris Morey, know that today I stood in a portacabin for nearly half an hour arguing with my bovine albatross and her dead-eyed manager while wearing a falling-to-pieces bobbled hat my friends long ago dubbed the Red Horror, in honour of the things it has both seen and had spilled into it, and telling said dickholes how I came to earn the nickname Tiny Tim on the internets by claiming book-shaped spoils in the fall-out from the Troll Wars. All for the sake of your art.
I fought valiantly, but they were total jobsworth cunts, so it’s getting redelivered on Tuesday. I hope they get dysentery.
|
|
|
|
01-27-2012, 07:28 AM
|
#235
|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 708
|
Yeah, I didn't want to leave my real name on the address in case you not only sent me a box of spiders, but then started stalking me and sending me boxes of spiders everywhere I went. (It's not that I don't trust you; but you've got to admit, your avatar is kinda rapey... there's something obscene about those hands.)
Thanks for the well-wishes though - will keep you updated. On Tuesday, I will have what's owed to me, or there will be bovine blood spilled in a little portakabin in Essex.
__________________
"Friends are allowed to make mistakes. The enemy is not allowed to make mistakes because his whole existence is a mistake, and we suffer from it. But the women's liberation front and gay liberation front are our friends, they are our potential allies, and we need as many allies as possible.” - Huey Newton
|
|
|
02-02-2012, 06:26 AM
|
#236
|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 708
|
So on Tuesday, I received not one, but three, books - especially benevolent considering the UK shipping fee. For the Dark Regions are bountiful and their works contagious like zombie virus.
Chris Morey, you are, as mentioned, a classy motherfucker. (But not as classy as this classy motherfucker, whose ghost-hunting adventures I look forward to reading.) Thanks dood.
__________________
"Friends are allowed to make mistakes. The enemy is not allowed to make mistakes because his whole existence is a mistake, and we suffer from it. But the women's liberation front and gay liberation front are our friends, they are our potential allies, and we need as many allies as possible.” - Huey Newton
|
|
|
02-02-2012, 02:28 PM
|
#237
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Dude, I don't even know where I live anymore.
Posts: 1,276
|
I recently finished "Hard Boiled Vampire Killers", I have to say, it was actually pretty good. Obviously it was inspired by "Big Trouble in little china", which was the reason I probably liked it so much.
__________________
Caution, I may bite.
|
|
|
02-16-2012, 02:15 PM
|
#238
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Enjoy, good sir! Let me know what you think of them. Glad you got them okay.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CuckooTuli
So on Tuesday, I received not one, but three, books - especially benevolent considering the UK shipping fee. For the Dark Regions are bountiful and their works contagious like zombie virus.
Chris Morey, you are, as mentioned, a classy motherfucker. (But not as classy as this classy motherfucker, whose ghost-hunting adventures I look forward to reading.) Thanks dood. 
|
|
|
|
02-16-2012, 02:16 PM
|
#239
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Pretty good eh? I met Jim Gavin at the World Horror Convention last year, a classy fellow indeed. Glad you enjoyed it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murder.Of.Crows
I recently finished "Hard Boiled Vampire Killers", I have to say, it was actually pretty good. Obviously it was inspired by "Big Trouble in little china", which was the reason I probably liked it so much.
|
|
|
|
02-16-2012, 02:17 PM
|
#240
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Tales of the Weak & The Wounded by Gary McMahon now available on DarkRegions.com
The new book Tales of the Weak & The Wounded by Gary McMahon is now available on the DarkRegions.com website in a leather-bound signed by both author and artist Deluxe Thirteen Hardcover with slipcase edition and a 100 Signed and Numbered Limited Hardcover edition!
Click here to read more about Tales of the Weak & The Wounded by Gary McMahon
The sound of shuffling footsteps across the old cell floor…
A soft voice like a strange tune echoing along the empty corridors…
Dim lights in the windows of the abandoned asylum…
Discarded case files that flip open to reveal the dreams of broken minds…
Welcome to a place where the boundaries of fact and fiction meet.
Acclaimed author Gary McMahon raids the archives of a notorious derelict mental asylum called the Daleside Institute to bring you stories of madness, horror and emotional trauma. In locations as diverse as suburban Germany, the London Underground, an Italian seaside resort and the inhospitable polar icecap, you will meet damaged people with broken lives. Here are terrifying accounts of love, hate, death and madness…
These are the Tales of the Weak and the Wounded
About the Author

Gary McMahon’s short fiction has been reprinted in both THE MAMMOTH BOOK OF BEST NEW HORROR and THE YEAR’S BEST FANTASY & HORROR. He is the British-Fantasy-Award-nominated author of the novels Hungry Hearts from Abaddon Books, Pretty Little Dead Things and Dead Bad Things from Angry Robot/Osprey and The Concrete Grove trilogy from Solaris.
Read more...
|
|
|
02-21-2012, 06:46 PM
|
#241
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
The Bram Stoker Award winning book Taste of Tenderloin by Gene O'Neill will be launching on the DarkRegions.com website in two collectible hardcover formats on Tuesday, February 28th. Click here to find out how you could win a $45 100 Signed and Numbered Limited Hardcover of the book for free.
Click here to read more about Taste of Tenderloin by Gene O'Neill
Winner of the 2009 Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in a Collection.
Nine stories of dark science fiction and fantasy take us through the underbelly of San Francisco's most notorious district known as the Tenderloin.
Best known for his strong sense of place and uniquely vibrant characters. O'Neill brings the gritty underside of the city to life with nine interwoven stories of broken lives, missed dreams, and all that can go wrong with both reality and fantasy among the down and out. The city itself opens wide to swallow all comers with the temptation of its secrets and sins, while O'Neill brings dignity and humanity to a set of characters often overlooked in both society and fiction.
"Haunting, lyrical and often uncomfortably realistic, this slim collection of eight short stories plunges the reader into the darker side of San Francisco. Altered states of consciousness-minds changed by grief, chemistry or too much hard living-are everywhere. In Magic Words, an advertising executive pays a homeless woman a high price for transient success. Poignant and plausible almost to a fault, Tombstones in His Eyes twists the horrors of drug addiction into something harder, sharper and scarier. In the Apotheosis of Nathan McKee, a brokenhearted father's descent into insanity-or is it merely invisibility?-makes normalcy seem all too tenuous. The best story of the bunch, 5150, documents the final moments of a worn-out cop about to retire. O'Neill's deft, authentic prose resonates with the weight of sad reality, erasing the line between knowledge and fear." - Starred review - Publishers Weekly
About the Author

Gene O'Neill is best known as a multi-award nominated writer of science fiction, fantasy, and horror fiction.
O'Neill's professional writing career began after completing the Clarion West Writers Workshop in 1979. Since that time, over 100 of his works have been published. His short story work has appeared in Cemetery Dance Magazine, Twilight Zone Magazine, The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, and many more.
O'Neill has had many occupations besides writing including postal worker, contract specialist for AAFES, college basketball player, amateur boxer, United States Marine, right-of-way agent, and vice president of a small manufacturing plant. He also holds two degrees from California State University, Sacramento and University of Minnesota. He currently writes full time and lives in the Napa Valley with his wife, Kay.
Read more...
Like us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter
|
|
|
02-28-2012, 02:58 PM
|
#242
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Desp, you can still mock our covers, if you want. This thread isn't the same without your wit.
Anyway, here's the blatantly commercial message I came to post:
We are happy to announce that the Bram Stoker Award winning book Taste of Tenderloin by Gene O'Neill is now available on the new DarkRegions.com website. Read more about the book here: http://www.darkregions.com/taste-of-...by-gene-oneill
|
|
|
03-13-2012, 03:08 PM
|
#243
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Crustaceans by William Meikle now available and in stock
The novel Crustaceans by William Meikle is now available on the DarkRegions.com website in a Deluxe Signed Hardcover and a Trade Paperback edition (first 100 copies signed by the author). The book is already in stock and shipping to customers.
Click here to read more about Crustaceans by William Meikle
From Scottish writer William Meikle comes a novel that is a welcome return to those tomes of pure enjoyment that we read with guilt in our early teens, in the tradition of James Herbert’s THE RATS and Guy N. Smith’s NIGHT OF THE CRABS.
It begins with a dead whale on a Boston shoreline--not in itself an unusual occurrence. But the things that claw their way out of the blubber are very unusual indeed. A cast of giant crabs, evolved over centuries, descends on a small coastal town and, having feasted, make their way to the city using the sewer system. Soon they are swarming around Manhattan, hunted and harried by a SWAT team tasked with ridding the city of the menace...before the menace gets big enough to rid itself of the city.
About the Author
William Meikle is a Scottish writer with over a dozen novels published in the genre press and over 200 short story credits in thirteen countries. He is the author of the ongoing Midnight Eye series among others, and his work appears in a number of professional anthologies. His ebook THE INVASION has been as high as #2 in the Kindle SF charts. He lives in a remote corner of Newfoundland with icebergs, whales and bald eagles for company. In the winters he gets warm vicariously through the lives of others in cyberspace, so please check him out at http://www.williammeikle.com
Read more...
Publisher

Dark Regions Press
P.O. Box 1264
Colusa, CA, 95932
support AT darkregions.com
http://www.darkregions.com
|
|
|
03-14-2012, 02:12 PM
|
#244
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Lullaby for the Rain Girl by Christopher Conlon now in stock and shipping!
We are happy to report that the new novel Lullaby for the Rain Girl by Christopher Conlon is now in stock and shipping to customers! The book is currently available in a leather-bound signed by both author and artist Deluxe Thirteen Hardcover with slipcase edition and a 100 Signed and Numbered Limited Hardcover edition. The book features original artwork by Bram Stoker Award winning artist Vincent Chong. Read more about the book here: http://www.darkregions.com/lullaby-f...topher-conlon/
|
|
|
03-24-2012, 05:37 PM
|
#246
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Dude, I don't even know where I live anymore.
Posts: 1,276
|
I actually really like the cover art for "Lullaby for the Rain Girl". Nicely done. I find myself really wanting to make fun of the flesh eating crab one though. I just can't think of anything good. Damn it Desp., where are you when I need a good laugh.
__________________
Caution, I may bite.
|
|
|
03-27-2012, 11:32 AM
|
#247
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Bram Stoker Award sale
Dark Regions Press currently has five titles nominated on the final ballot in the Bram Stoker Awards and for a limited time we are offering 25% off all five titles. Simply use coupon code STOKER25 in the final stage of checkout on the DarkRegions.com website.
The nominated titles are:
Multiplex Fandango by Weston Ochse (nominated for Superior Achievement in a Collection)
Isis Unbound by Allyson Bird (nominated for Superior Achievement in a First Novel)
Rusting Chickens by Gene O'Neill (nominated for Superior Achievement in Long Fiction)
Shroud of Night by G.O. Clark (nominated for Superior Achievement in a Poetry Collection)
Surrealities by Bruce Boston (nominated for Superior Achievement in a Poetry Collection)
Simply use coupon code STOKER25 in the final stage of checkout to get 25% off any/all of the above titles!
|
|
|
04-03-2012, 10:33 AM
|
#248
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
Dark Regions Press is proud to announce that the novel Isis Unbound by Allyson Bird was awarded Superior Achievement in a First Novel during the Bram Stoker Awards on Saturday, March 31st. The novel is currently in stock and available in two collectible hardcover formats: http://www.darkregions.com/isis-unbo...-allyson-bird/
|
|
|
04-10-2012, 05:48 PM
|
#249
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
The Harmony Society by Tim Waggoner coming April 17th
The novel The Harmony Society by Tim Waggoner will be available on the DarkRegions.com website on Tuesday, April 17th.
Click here to read more about The Harmony Society by Tim Waggoner
Reality and nightmare. Past and present. Sanity and madness. For Nathan Bennett, there is no longer any difference between them - not since the Harmony Society came into his life. Now, as his world begins to collapse around him, Nathan must travel the strange and dangerous roads of the Nightway in search of the Dark Angel - a being of great power that the Harmony Society desperately wishes to control. But even if Nathan reaches the Angel first, what waits for him at the end of his long, dark road: salvation . . . damnation . . . Or both?
This novel is compelling, frightening, packed with haunting dreamlike imagery, and rich with imagination.
- Gary A. Braunbeck, author of Stoker-nominated author of THINGS LEFT BEHIND, THE INDIFFERENCE OF HEAVEN, and GRAVEYARD PEOPLE: The Collected Cedar Hill Stories, Vol. 1.
About the Author
Tim Waggoner wrote his first story at the age of five, when he created a comic book version of King Kong vs. Godzilla on a stenographer's pad. It took him a few more years until he began selling professionally, though. Overall, he has published more than twenty novels and two short story collections, and his articles on writing have appeared in Writer’s Digest and Writers’ Journal, among other publications. He teaches creative writing at Sinclair Community College and in Seton Hill University’s Master of Fine Arts in Writing Popular Fiction program. He hopes to continue writing and teaching until he keels over dead, after which he wants to be stuffed and mounted, and then placed in front of his computer terminal.
Read more...
www.DarkRegions.com
support AT darkregions.com
Like us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter
|
|
|
04-17-2012, 01:50 PM
|
#250
|
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 420
|
The Harmony Society by Tim Waggoner now available on DarkRegions.com
We are happy to announce that The Harmony Society by Tim Waggoner is now available and in stock on the DarkRegions.com website: http://www.darkregions.com/the-harmo...y-tim-waggoner
|
|
|
Thread Tools |
Search this Thread |
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:00 AM.
|
 |