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Game of Thrones: Stormborn

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Oh don’t let that title fool you! While we see the beginnings of Daenerys’ plans, we also see the most epic pirate battle that overshadows anything else that happens in the entire episode. Let’s get into the recap for HBO’s Game of Thrones Season 7, Episode 2: Stormborn!

So the episode starts out with a recap of some things that happened last week, such as Euron Greyjoy promising a gift for Cersei and the Dornish Queen meeting with Lady Tyrell. There’s no real front piece, like the epic giant white walker, which kind of sucked for me because usually these front pieces are pretty awesome.

After the Song of Fire and Ice, we are thrown into a crazy storm around Dragonstone where Daenerys and her cohorts are plotting their takeover of the Seven Kingdoms. As Tyrion is speaking to her about plans, she immediately lays into Varys about what a backstabbing ass he is and how she doesn’t trust his bald butt. He tells her he’s in it for the people, not for the rulers and lays things out straight. Impressed that he didn’t scheme to get out of it, she tells him to always tell her when he feels that she’s failing the people or she’ll burn him alive. Of course, he says “I’d expect nothing less from the Mother of Dragons.”varys 1

Aw. Well, sweet moment over as a Red Priestess arrives at Dragonstone. They all go down to meet her and who is it – well, you can guess I’m sure – Melisandre. After a nice little talk in slave tongue, Daenerys tells her that she’s always welcome in her castle. Melisandre tells her she needs to meet Jon Snow (even though he kicked her out of Winterfell last episode). Tyrion finds out his bastard friend has defeated Ramsay Bolton and is now King of the North. He tells Daenerys that Jon is a good man and he trusts him. She tells Tyrion to send a raven telling Jon to come meet her and ‘bend the knee’. Melisandre1

Then we move to Winterfell, where Jon has received the raven from Tyrion and is talking with Sansa and Davos about what Tyrion says. They all agree that Tyrion is to be trusted, and Jon is on the fence about going to meet her. He reminds Sansa that Daenerys has dragons and those are the only things that can beat the white walkers… well, that and the Dragonglass under her keep.

Now we move to King’s Landing, where Cersei has summoned those lords that are still loyal to her, trying to build up an army to fight Daenerys. She tells them that the Unsullied are slaves who do what they are told without any remorse and that the Dothraki will burn their villages and rape their women and children. After her little ‘scare speech’, one of the lords, Lord Tarly, asks bluntly how she’s going to deal with Daenerys’ dragons. Cersei’s little creeper maester, Qyburn, says they’re working on a solution. Uh huh. No one quite believes this.cersei1

Ser Jaime catches up with Lord Tarly after Cersei’s speech and basically tries to bribe him. He tells Tarly that he will make Tarly his main general and make sure that he is Lord of the South after Cersei wins. Of course, Tarly reminds Jaime that his house has always been loyal to the Tyrells and kind of leaves it at that. Jaime makes a couple of veiled threats and then end scene.

Next, we move to the Citadel, where Samwell is helping the Archmaester look at Jorah Mormont’s greyscale. The Archmaester tells him he’s screwed, that he’ll live another 10 to 20 years, but his mind will be gone in 6 months. Sam tries to talk about a treatment he heard of that will maybe cure it. Archmaester blows him off, then tells Mormont that he’ll let him stay one more night because he’s a knight but after that he has to be shipped off to the island with the other stone men. The Archmaester also looks to Mormont’s sword and tells him it’s up to Jorah how he spends his last night. I will say that the special effects on the greyscale is just fucking gnarly here. It truly looks like poor Jorah has been burnt to a crisp over most of his body. greyscale

We’re flung down below the Red Keep, where Qyburn is walking Cersei around all of the dragon skulls that Robert never got rid of. Ermagawd they are badass. Props or not, I want the huge one in my house. Cersei walks right up to the huge one, showing how big it is. Meanwhile, Qyburn is going through how evil the Mad King was, how badass his dragons were, etc. Then he shows her a huge spear launcher as he tells her that one of Daenerys’ dragons was injured during the battle in Slaver’s Bay. He tells her to pull the lever and when she does, a massive iron spear shoots right into the middle of the biggest dragon skull. I know my image here is a bit dark, but they sure didn’t put a lot of light on him, which sucked. dragon skull

Right here, I already got angry, because I can see where this is going. They’re going to kill one (or more) of the dragons and I’m assuming it will be the biggest one… which I love. And I will hate HBO for a while afterwards.

After shooting the big man in the head, we are taken to Dragonstone, where Daenerys is meeting with Olenna Tyrell, Yara Greyjoy and Ellaria Sand. Tyrion tells them their plans for taking the Red Keep after the women tell Daenerys to storm King’s Landing with her dragons. Tyrion tells them that will kill tens of thousands of people. Ellaira says “This is war.”, and a few barbs fly between them. Daenerys says no, that their armies will lay siege to the Keep and when they say ‘well, wtf, why not use your armies?!’, Tyrion tells them how the Unsullied are going to take Casterly Rock – his home. This kind of shuts them up. They all finally say they are behind the plan and Daenerys dismisses them, but asks to speak with Lady Tyrell alone. She tells Olenna that she knows Olenna is only there because she hates Cersei. Olenna gives her some good advice: telling her to be a dragon, not a sheep.

It seems while everyone else is getting ready for war, Missandrei goes in to find out why Grey Worm wasn’t going to tell her bye. He tells her that she’s his weakness, which she starts to take offence at, until he explains that the boys in the Unsullied always had their fears found out and then were thrown into them all the way. He says he never had any fear, that he was always the bravest. She believes this. Then he says that now, he has fear. Finally, he almost runs over and smooches her. She pulls away and BAM! Drops her dress. He allows her to take his clothes off, even his pants, and they get busy on the bed – except that he takes a southward approach instead of trying to fuck since he hasn’t got the parts. It’s been a long time since there was any type of a sex scene in GoT with boobs and all.

And after this hot sex scene – we’re thrown back to the Citadell. Wtf. Ok, anyway, Sam is trying to convince the Archmaester that he can do the treatment on Jorah. Archmaester says no fucking way, the dude that developed the treatment died from greyscale. Does Sam listen, fuck no. He gets all the stuff and goes to Jorah’s room while the knight is writing to Daenerys. Sam has Jorah drink a whole skin of rum and then bite down on a strap. He tells Jorah that it is going to hurt – a lot – and he has to be quiet or Sam will get kicked out and they’ll ship Jorah off. Sam tells Jorah that basically he’s his only hope. And, since they showed Daenery telling Jorah that she commands him to heal himself during the beginning recap… well, it’s almost predictable.

However, the treatment is downright nasty painful – even on TV. It’s peeling off the infected skin – which they show in all it’s gory detail. You can even hear the ripping of the skin… not gonna lie, it curled my toes and puckered my butt.greyscaletreatment

As Sam is diving in to remove more skin, the scene changes to Arya cutting into a breaded pie – which grossed me out until I realized it was a new scene lol. She’s back in the inn with the fat kid, Hot Pie, talking. He tells her about Jon being alive and the King of the North and she gets up and leaves. He tells her that when she’s not trying to look like a boy, she’s pretty – which cracked me up for some reason. Outside the inn, she hears people going to King’s Landing as she’s getting on her horse. After a moment or two, she finally turns and rides back to Winterfell.

Back at Winterfell, Jon is given a note from a raven from Sam about the Dragonglass under Daenerys’ keep. He meets with the lords and tells them about that note and the one from Daenerys asking him to come meet her. Everyone freaks out and tells him not to go – even Sansa. Sansa and Jon have a little fight in front of everyone when he says that he and Davos are going to Dragonstone. He says that Winterfell will be in good hands when he leaves because he’s leaving it in Sansa’s hands. This shuts her up for a moment and makes ‘ole creep Littlefinger happy.sansa

Jon goes down into the catacombs to see his dad before he leaves. Littlefinger follows him and tells him how he brought Ned’s body back to Winterfell for Kat, how Ned loved Kat, how he (Littlefinger) loved Kat, and reminds Jon how Kat never liked Jon at all. Then he tells Jon that he loves Sansa the same way that he loved Kat – to which Jon slams his ass against the wall and tells him he’ll kill him if he touches her. Jon then rides away, waving bye to Sansa who’s watching from the balcony. Littlefinger appears from the catacombs, watching Sansa too. Dude has always creeped me out, but this season so far, he is just seriously bad creeper vibes going every which way. jonlittlefinger

Now we’re back to Arya, who stops and builds a fire in the middle of the day for some reason, and we start hearing noises around her. Her horse freaks out a bit and finally she gets her sword. You’re sure it’s going to be soldiers or walkers or something but no! Wolves. Snarling, fang bearing wolves. Then, the biggest one – a dire wolf – comes up on a log above her and she realizes it’s Nymeria, her dire wolf. She lays down her sword and tries to talk to Nymeria, telling her to come back to Winterfell with her. The wolf stands there for a moment, then they all turn and leave. aryawolves

And now, this is the part that makes the whole episode just fucking epic: Mega crazy fiery pirate battle!!!

There will be whole massive book-type posts written about this battle all week. Jesus H Christ GoT, this was fucking awesome.

Ok, while Yara and Elliara are flirting with each other and about to get it on in front of poor Theon and Elliara’s crazy girls are plotting to kill each other (jokingly) so they don’t have to share things – BOOM! Huge ships attack. Euron Greyjoy’s fleet just fucking demolishes Yara’s and Euron himself kills two of the three Dornish princesses, hanging one from the bow of their ship and stabbing the other with a spear through the bow above her. yara theon

I am not going to go through too much of this because you HAVE to see it for yourself. I don’t want to spoil it. But, Euron captures Yara and Elliara as well as the last of her daughters. He tells Theon to come and save his sister, but Theon jumps off the side of the ship. At first, this pissed me off, but if he had tried to save her, Euron would have killed them both.euron yara

The episode ends with Theon seeing their fleet and the Dornish army just fucking wiped off the map.

Oooooooh I cannot wait for next week – how about you?!

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Posted by on Sunday, July 23rd, 2017. Filed under Dark TV, Headline. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

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