Warning
My writing is a known cause of lunacy. Don't pass this warning off as such.
My writing is a known cause of lunacy. Don't pass this warning off as such.
Another Tease of "Wicked Fun"
Posted 02-02-2010 at 12:03 PM by Good Super Villain
The Good Super Villain and Tiff sat in the diner waiting for their cherry pie. “It’s been a while since I have had homemade cherry pie. Hey, no comments about the cherry or the pie. I know what you are thinking.” Tiff said as her eyes lit up. The waitress brought two large pieces of cherry pie. There was a large scoop of vanilla ice cream on each plate also, but for some reason one plate had a fork and the other a spoon. She handed the plate with the fork to the Good Super Villain, who at this point and from now on I will call, GSV. He was looking at Tiff devour her pie and not even noticing the spoon which she used to carve bites of cherry pie and blobs of ice cream. She caught his eyes staring at her and almost spoke but only smiled as she returned to the pie. He tried a bite, “Fuck. My first fucking bite and I get a pit.” He said as he spit the pit at Tiff. “Stop it. Hey, since you are not eating, can you tell me about your birth again. I love that story. Please. For the sake of cherry pie.” Well GSV smiled and put down his fork and was about to start when Tiff yelled, “Holy Fuck! You have a fork.”
“Oh my sweet Tiff. You are so sweet and I would rather eat you than this pie any day. No, no, no, that’s not right. I mean every day. So you want to hear about my entrance into this world do you. Okay, my mother was a small woman. Not sure why that has anything to do with the story but anyways, she was small. My father was big and very wild. He would be considered a menace to society if he was around these days. It was in the middle of the summer and during a record breaking heat wave that I was born. My mother woke up early in the cabin and was so hot she felt faint. She ventured outside to the garden to pick a water melon. It was early and the morning sun only lit up distant hills. She stepped into the garden and right on a rattle snake. She screamed as her water broke. The snake just slithered away, probably knowing not to mess with a woman in labor. My mother was rushed to the local hospital, which was run by the Catholic Church. They restrained her arms fearing that if she touched her face I would have the face of a snake. I don’t think I do, but maybe the tongue. After I was born and my father heard about it he came to the hospital. He was drunk as usual so the Nuns refused him entry. They were so stupid to think they could keep a genuine Demon out. My old man kicked in the door and pushed the Nuns on their asses as he charged the nursery. He picked me up and took me to my mother. She was like an Angel and so sweet and soft. I guess that morning they felt love. I say this because their relationship was horrible. My old man was a Demon and my mother an Angel. Not shit. It’s true. My dad left the hospital and walked over to the only cop in town and said he would pay for the door, but won’t pay for the Nuns until after he dies. You know what’s more strange about my birth than this. The fact that it took my parents almost two months to choose a name for me. I heard that the Nurses all called me Charlie Brown. I was in the nursery for a while, I was a month premature because of the snake. “
“That gets me every time.” Tiff said as she was already digging into GSV’s ice cream. He looked at her and she smiled and said, “What, it’s going to melt.”
“Oh my sweet Tiff. You are so sweet and I would rather eat you than this pie any day. No, no, no, that’s not right. I mean every day. So you want to hear about my entrance into this world do you. Okay, my mother was a small woman. Not sure why that has anything to do with the story but anyways, she was small. My father was big and very wild. He would be considered a menace to society if he was around these days. It was in the middle of the summer and during a record breaking heat wave that I was born. My mother woke up early in the cabin and was so hot she felt faint. She ventured outside to the garden to pick a water melon. It was early and the morning sun only lit up distant hills. She stepped into the garden and right on a rattle snake. She screamed as her water broke. The snake just slithered away, probably knowing not to mess with a woman in labor. My mother was rushed to the local hospital, which was run by the Catholic Church. They restrained her arms fearing that if she touched her face I would have the face of a snake. I don’t think I do, but maybe the tongue. After I was born and my father heard about it he came to the hospital. He was drunk as usual so the Nuns refused him entry. They were so stupid to think they could keep a genuine Demon out. My old man kicked in the door and pushed the Nuns on their asses as he charged the nursery. He picked me up and took me to my mother. She was like an Angel and so sweet and soft. I guess that morning they felt love. I say this because their relationship was horrible. My old man was a Demon and my mother an Angel. Not shit. It’s true. My dad left the hospital and walked over to the only cop in town and said he would pay for the door, but won’t pay for the Nuns until after he dies. You know what’s more strange about my birth than this. The fact that it took my parents almost two months to choose a name for me. I heard that the Nurses all called me Charlie Brown. I was in the nursery for a while, I was a month premature because of the snake. “
“That gets me every time.” Tiff said as she was already digging into GSV’s ice cream. He looked at her and she smiled and said, “What, it’s going to melt.”
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