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I've actually been using a really strange technique when necessary. voodoowitchdr, I have been using the technique you suggested, and she seems to be kind of sort of getting it. Strange technique: When she panics over one of her phobias, I slowly convince her that her phobia is very far away and that she mistook it (e.g., fear of spiders. she saw a spider and flipped out. I convinced her that spiders aren't bad, we just believe they are because they look scary). My counselor said that I shouldn't do that alot or make ridiculous efforts to get her to quit.
Still, it's miserable to a certain degree.
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