Saya! Versus! I need advice!

Murder.Of.Crows · 02-11-2014, 02:34 PM

So, yeah, I recently asked someone out that lives far as fuck away. And, I was thinking that, making it work would be rather hard, but I really want it to work.

Then I thought of you two. I mean, how long have you guys been together? And you both live in different countries! So... I guess I'm asking for advice on long distance relationships.

Saya · 02-11-2014, 04:17 PM

First, congrats! And we've been together over two and a half years now.

Long distance is a lot of work. But what makes us work, I think, that its the only real problem we have with our relationship. If we argued a lot or had a lot of drama, it probably wouldn't survive, but we have a pretty solid relationship. I used to think that I would never be able to do long distance, and a few times in our relationship I thought we should give up, but that never lasted long. There are lots of people who live in the same city I know who are miserable together, distance doesn't dictate the health of the relationship.

I think one big thing that helps is having a long term plan. Its hard with the military but we usually have a tough idea of when he can visit, and after I graduate I'll be moving to the states. Making plans and having something to look forward to helps immensely. I do miss him and get sad about it but for the most part I'm super excited planning what we're going to do on visits and planning out what I need to do to get ready for the move, and so on.

If you have more specific questions feel free to ask!

Versus · 02-12-2014, 03:25 AM

YOU CANNOT FATHOM THE DEPTH OF OUR LOVE.

I want to be helpful. It's just difficult for us to be objective when we have the opportunity to gush about each other. Which I guess is kind of the point. It's not the distance in the relationship, it's the relationship in the distance.

How far away is this someone?

Murder.Of.Crows · 02-12-2014, 07:23 AM

The other side of the country. I'm in Ca and she's over in NY.

Murder.Of.Crows · 02-12-2014, 07:25 AM

I feel awkward sometimes though, because I just haven't dated in over 6 years. I have forgotten how to not be a dork. Haha.

Saya · 02-12-2014, 01:34 PM

I know what you mean! I was single for a few years before dating Versus. When he first came to visit I was freaking out that it would be all awkward and weird, but when he came to the house, we sat around awkwardly for like two minutes...and then cuddled XD

And its okay to be a dork. Its endearing.

Versus · 02-12-2014, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Murder.Of.Crows

The other side of the country. I'm in Ca and she's over in NY.

Yeah, that's a pain. Might as well be on the other side of the planet. Do ya'all have any obligations or commitments that keep you from seeing each other?

Timeless Rebellion · 02-12-2014, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

...we sat around awkwardly for like two minutes...and then cuddled XD

That is a very effective way to break awkward silence I imagine!

Murder.Of.Crows · 02-13-2014, 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Versus

Yeah, that's a pain. Might as well be on the other side of the planet. Do ya'all have any obligations or commitments that keep you from seeing each other?

Money and I'm still in the Navy. Which blows considering.

Versus · 02-13-2014, 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Murder.Of.Crows

Money and I'm still in the Navy. Which blows considering.

I hear you. I can't leave the country without taking leave and 2 deployments since we got together and all the crazy op tempo surrounding that keep me away. Plus she's in school so it's hard for her to see me, too.

We talk every day that we can, though.

Murder.Of.Crows · 02-13-2014, 03:59 AM

Yeah? Sometimes, I feel like I'm coming off as too needy.... I try to make plans to leave state, but then, bam you haven't aquired enough leave, plus you being here is mandatory for no reason. Seriously, every mandatory date, I just end up sitting in a room twiddling my thumbs.

Murder.Of.Crows · 02-14-2014, 11:39 AM

Well.... that didn't last long. It's a little heart breaking, because I really liked her, but I just want her to be happy, and I don't think I really am the person that can make that happen. So... we're just friends.

Oh well, I can still be an awesome friend.

Maybe one day, I'll find someone...

Acharis · 02-15-2014, 01:43 AM

That sucks MoC.

You'll find someone though. And hopefully they'll be close enough that it doesn't put stress on you and your finances.

I managed a relationship for well over a year where, while it may not have been "long distance", we lived hours apart and neither drove. It was pretty tiring and stressful. Never again.