damn peanut butter

Kettu · 10-01-2005, 01:00 PM

So i wake up today and the first thing i want is some peanut butter and honey. I go to the fridge and open it up only to find honey... Damn it i say to myself. This is like having toast but no jelly. A crisis I faced the day before.

So I got to the store to get my new can/jar of peanut better. I get it and they charge my a total of $3.25. Fine, whatever. Just want to make a freaking sandwich.

I get the jar of heaven home and open it up. Safty seal...I struggle with this thing for about an hour before I just cut it open. I look inside only to find ants.

Let me stay it again...I open a new jar of peanut butter only to find ants.

ANTS!! how did ants get in there?

I dont even want the damn peanut butter anymore...

MrMaelstrom · 10-01-2005, 03:26 PM

I was gonna bitch about there being no need for a new thread, seen as we have a RANT CORNER already, but seen as this seems to be more along the lines of costumer complaints or mistery tales...

So people, just how did our mighty hero struggle with a jar of peanut for an hour (you're a manly man, aintcha?), finally gets it open, but only to find he was beaten to the peanut by fucking ants?

Anybody got a theory?

I'll bet the jar ain't exactly made of glass, now is it?

Have you found a tiny hole on the lid?
Because ants can chew through most plastic, if need be.

Maybe they used the knife you cut it open with as a trojan horse (Oh my God, the ants were on the knife all the time!!!!)

Any other bets before I throw this into the rant corner?

Empty_Purple_Stars · 10-01-2005, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaelstrom

Any other bets before I throw this into the rant corner?

I saw it as well, but Kettu and I go way back with the Underpants Gnomes so I decided to let it be.

Plus Ants are the friggin PLAGUE of Portland..

I got home with a can of Clam Chowder this summer and found the friggin things, IN THE CAN!!

Top THAT!!

:P

I have also had them invade sealed bags of bread, chips and condoms..

No, not really the condoms..

But they are persistent and disgusting..

Not as bad as the 20 Kilo Cockroaches we had in Texas, but a close 2nd..

Gawdamn Ants...

Jane13 · 10-01-2005, 07:46 PM

Ants are nasty. They get everywhere. Luckily we only had one infestation.... at my Aunt's house they get those asian ladybug look-a-likes Halloween beetles. There's nothing you can really do about those... they coat your walls in orange and black sheets. The only thing you can do about them is make sure yor guests are equiped with a handy-vac to suck up the little freaks before they start biting. They crunch as you step on them, and you will if you have an infestation. This is why we don't visit my Aunt and the rest of out family up north in the fall.

Kettu · 10-01-2005, 09:52 PM

I took the jar back to the store. They won't give me back my money because I broke the safty seal...

So all in all, wasted good money on ants.

thank god the honey was okay.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 10-01-2005, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kettu

I took the jar back to the store. They won't give me back my money because I broke the safty seal...

So all in all, wasted good money on ants.

thank god the honey was okay.

Umm..

Call me Anal, but I would go back to the friggin store and point out that there was NO WAY YOU COULD HAVE KNOWN there were ants in their damn Peanut Butter unless you had broken their precious SAFETY SEAL in the first place..

And also point out, that their gawdamn 'Safety Seal' wasn't all that G'Damn SAFE if it couldn't manage to keep ANTS out of something as basic as Peanut Butter..

I mean, really..

You didn't put the Ants in the Peanut Butter..

They sold you food with insects in it..

I got the money back on my soup de la Ant, with many apologies and a stack of coupons..

Now $3 bucks may not be worth the hassle, but I'll be G'damned if I would let the store sell me food with bugs in it and then try and punk ME outta my money back..

Or at least Ant Free Peanut Butter..

Talk to the Manager..If that doesn't work, talk to the General Manager..

It's really the anal ass principal of the matter..

What a bunch of Dildos..

Let us know how your fight against 'oppression' turns out..

GeNoCiDe_PaRaDoX · 10-03-2005, 03:03 PM

she's pretty ryt in the ballpark...I would have done the same thing.this time, i would scream,but i'd get that smooth honey peanut butter...oh sweet mother of all that is sweet...

Kettu · 10-03-2005, 05:18 PM

I've got back a few times. They ask "how do we know that you didnt put the ants in the peanut butter yourself"

"..Because im not that stupid"

They tryed to trick me. saying the manager wanst working today. Such a shame he lives three houses down from me.

demoncross · 10-04-2005, 09:46 AM

Ants in a new jar of peanut butter, holy crap! that totally blows, tragedy, calamity and all that, what I really want to know is, Kettu, darkling, and this is just for the record...
Why on God's green earth would you keep Peanut butter in the fridge? Why?

I turns solid as a rock and then you can't spread it on anything.

Kettu · 10-04-2005, 02:41 PM

Most of the time, I eat it before it becomes that hard.

Jane13 · 10-04-2005, 03:09 PM

That's what my parents do... it drives me crazy, because it's worse when you buy natural peanut butter.

wikked · 10-06-2005, 03:22 PM

You ought to contact whomever makes the peanut butter. And I'm not recommending it, but I would have smacked the person who suggested I stuck ants in the peanut butter. With a weed wacker.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 10-06-2005, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wikked

You ought to contact whomever makes the peanut butter.

And I'm not recommending it, but I would have smacked the person who suggested I stuck ants in the peanut butter.

With a weed wacker.

Bwahahahaha!!

Snorted Green Tea out my nose on that one..

Thanks..

dvnt2003 · 10-06-2005, 06:10 PM

Just make peanut butter covered ants and sell them as a new craze....

Courtenay1218 · 10-06-2005, 07:53 PM

Okay. One time my ex and I got into an arguement, and he went downstairs to get some cereal. Well, I went down there to sit with him, and low and behold, there were ants in it. I saw, but didn't say anything. By the time he actually looked at his cereal, he was like "what the fuck?', Shrugged his shoulders, and kept on eating.

Jane13 · 10-06-2005, 10:31 PM

Wow! Ha ha hee hee

punkirony · 10-12-2005, 02:57 PM

My grandfather does that. "Good source of protein" he says. I don't care if it's good for me, I'm eating NO frickin' live bugs. MY GOSH!

angleangel_doom · 10-12-2005, 03:04 PM

Then you get on ebay or online and get a huge box full of the shit if you love it that much from oh, lets saaay...somewhere where ants are all the rave...or not, you know.
Just a suggestion.

rockandrose · 10-25-2005, 07:29 PM

Looks like peanut butter also comes in extra crunchy.