the Corrupted Wishes game

[Corpsey]

http://www.devilducky.com/media/45222/

One of <'s favourite moment's of family guy. Involves gay marriages AND Madonna.

Granted. You become so motivated that you get al your homework done. You even get time to do all that extra revision that you wanted. Then, when you finish that, you do every single chore that your parents set you. You have become a workaholic. You die three weeks later from stress-induced heart failure, because you never took the time to relax.

I wish that Britney Spears, Avril Lavigne and Madonna would all get a life, and that they weren't a bunch of pop-tarts.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

Madonna and Avril both get lives and Britney Spears gets married again - to you. She give up her singing career and instead spends all day composing songs about her love for you.

I wish I didn't have that bloody Madonna song stuck in my head...

[Corpsey]

Originally Posted by Magpie_Tendancies

Britney Spears gets married again - to you.

Oh well, she'll die shortly, because of her diabetes. Then I'll inherit all of her riches

Granted. Instead you have that song "all the things she said" by Tatu. It penetrates every sanctity in your mind and you go insane, chanting the song everywhere you go, to everyone you meet.

I wish that i go see the great barrier reef one day.

[wunky]

granted

you are whisked off to the barrier reef by private jet tomorrow, but over the ocean you hit a massive tropical hurricane. your jet crashes and you die, within striking distance of the great barrier reef.

i wish by some miracle of timing and finance i could go see lacuna coil, AFI and lordi in october and still manage to get to the goth fest in whitby.

[Lady Victoria Pareesis]

Granted. That's wonderful, you manage to have all the tickets to Lacuna Coil, AFI, Lordi AND the Goth Fest.
But you can't go there because every concert is delayed, then canceled because of an intempestive invasion of Giant Militar Squirrel Squads.
And the goth fest is canceled because Whitby became the headquarters of the giant militar squirrels.

I wish I could find a part time job other than MacDonald's.

[Corpsey]

Granted. You join the army, do ridiculously long hours, large amounts of physical work, on crap all pay.

I wish my boss would pay me the amount i have worked for, on time.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

Your boss pays you in chocolate pirate coins. Yummy!

I wish that I knew where in America I'm staying in August.

[spookypurple]

Granted. It's a shed just outside of Pittsburgh. You're sharing it with a family of wildebeest there for an eczema convention.


I wish I could learn lines by just reading them through once.

[Monsosin]

With the magic power in my side pouch, I give you the power to learn lines with the greatist of speed reading abilities. Saddly every time you do this your eyes will bleed and your vision will fade until you become blind, then your eyes will melt and run down your face leaving scars like you were burnt with molten lead.


I wish I could teleport like Nightcrawler.

[Immortal_Death]

You have the ability to teleport like Nightcrawler, but you have to be in the nude inorder for it to work.

I wish I found my iPod back...

[spookypurple]

Granted. You find your ipod. But it's had babies, and you are forced to take on the upkeep of 300 teeny randomising little Shuffles.

I wish I didn't keep wishing my life away.

[mutsumiasakura]

Granted, but it's too late. With your most recent wish, you've used up the last of the wishes allowed per lifetime and you expire in a weeping mass on the floor. Your remains are discovered by your next door neighbor, a closet exhibitionist, who posts multiple pictures on the internet and barters your corpse on Ebay. For your troubles, you are rewarded with an eternity in the heaven without any virgins (although you wouldn't have had much use for them anyway, you tell yourself bitterly).

I wish that I weighed about five pounds less.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

You try to avoid making wishes but everytime you come to this site you feel compelled to post here. As a result you must now avoid this site at all costs. You miss the humour and the fun of this site and die a miserable, grumpy old person.

I wish that Italy hadn't gotten that free kick with 10secs to go last night.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

What are the odds that no one responds to this thread for 13 hrs, then you and I post at the samt time mutsumiasakura?

Originally Posted by mutsumiasakura

I wish that I weighed about five pounds less.

Granted.

You weigh five pounds less... than the fattest person in the world. Thus making you the second fattest person in the world. You can no longer fit through the door frame - hell, you're too fat to get out of bed on your own.

I wish that Italy hadn't gotten that free kick with 10secs to go last night.

[Corpsey]

Granted. They didn't get that kick, and when it came down to the tie breaker, Australia won . Unfortunately, they won at the cost of their three best players being injured by angry italian supporters. Australia wins, but they have to bring in some subs for their lost players. These guys have been bought off by those damn Japanese players that kept on acting like they were injured. These subs play a very shady game, and there is an official investigation to see whether they were paid to let some goals in. This is all very embarrasing for the Australian soccer team, and because of the emotional stress, they loose 14-5 in their next game. The subs are banned from ever playing again, but the scandal is everywhere and Australia's team becomes one of the more infamous teams to be remembered at the world cup.

I wish that every time i go to town i didn't have to see the countles clones that exist.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Granted, you don't see them, because you're blind!
Dum, dum, duuuuum.
Heh, that was too easy, so I'll write some more:
Now that you're blind, a secret bear admirer sees its chance to grope you in awkward places.

I wish I had a cute, harmless stalker. No, make it ten.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Jillian, that one was funny

Granted.

You have 10 cute, harmless stalkers... who also have 10 huge, not-so-harmless fathers who aren't happy with you. They assume that their daughter's obssessions are your fault (well they are. Why do you have to be so damn hot and smart too?) and they decide to "take care of things". You have a series of unfortunate "accidents" and eventually end up in hospital, severly disfigured - and without your cute, harmless stalkers.

I wish my feet and lips weren't numb with cold.

[Corpsey]

Granted. You are eating a very nice subway sandwich with warm meat in it, so your lips are now warm. Unfortunately the meat in the sub was only warm. You quickly get some sort of bug from the uncooked meat. This gives you the sensation of having warm feet, but with chills every now and then. Before you can be treated for your fever, you start to hallucinate. Creepy Italian soccer players keep chasing you round and round and round in circles

I wish i could sing "sober" and "3 libras" like Maynard can.

[six_inch_heels]

Granted. You sing even better than he can. He starts to get jealous and spread malicious rumours about you. People you thought you could count on start to avoid you until you don't have anyone left who will stay in the same room as you. You become depressed and an alcoholic, you start to smoke. Your conditionn gradually deteriorates until you are left a slobbering, quivering lump on the floor.

I wish I knew how to be happy with what I have.

[Godslayer Jillian]

Granted. You become happy with what you have, but you have just lost one of humanities virtues: Ambition.
Sure, it can turn into jealousy, or even envy sometimes; but now, even if the stock market crashes, you won't do annything to get back on your feet because "you're happy where you're right now."
I didn't make this one a funny one, it was a small lesson that always wanting more is not a bad thing.
I wish I had more of everything. (except body fat or diseases or something like that. My body is good as it is, thank you)

[Lady Victoria Pareesis]

Granted. You have more, fun, more money, more food, more books. And therefore, bot work too.
But still, not more time. So you don't have the time to spend your money, to eat, to read or do anything. You have to work because the more you work, the more you have to work.
Too bad...

I wish my new shoes didn't hurt that much.

[WizardElement5]

*Always make sure shoes fit properly before buying them, because shoes that are too small can really damage your feet. End of public service announcement.* Your new shoes stop hurting because you lose all sense of feeling in your body. Everytime you injure yourself, you don't realise because you can't feel it. And within a year you die, bleeding to death from a cut from a piece of broken glass without ever realising you were hurt. (Sorry )

I wish that they're weren't such big time differences between myself and my friends on gnet, because the best time to be here is always in the middle of the night.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

What is it, about 2am there?

Granted.

There are no time differences. But due to everyone in the world attempting to be on the internet during the day the internet crashes, unable to to keep up with everyone's demands. You now have the same timezone as us, but you can no longer talk to us.

I wish it was tomorrow (cos it's my birthday! )

[Corpsey]

Granted. It's tomorrow and its your birthday! Unfortunately, your father comes down withy some random illness. You quickly take him to the hospital and spend the first three hours worrying heaps because he looks really ill. Eventually it turns out to be nothing more than a nasty strand of the flu and he'll be better in no time. After a disasterous morning, you slowly drive home to find that the cake that your mum was cooking had been left cooking....... your birthday cake is burnt to a crisp and your whole house is full of smoke, but luckily it didn't catch on fire for some reason. You spend the rest of the day airing out the house and cleaning out the remains the smoke left. Happy birthday!

I wish i could start my papers for next semester immediately, i'm really enthusiastic to start them.

[roserougesang]

Granted. You start your papers for next semester. But, as a result of an overeager mind, you get horrible marks for your papers and fail your subject. Try again next year.

I wish that everything special to me stays in perfect condition.