If Your Child is Gothic, Reform Through The Lord

[MollyMac]

Originally Posted by Ms.Crowbar

Again, it's a pretty damned sick joke if you ask me.
And the fact that you can't find the disclaimer that easily only makes it fucking worse.
They should put the disclaimer where people can see it.
.

You are one of those people that ate Preparation H, aren't you?

[Steppenwolf]

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nail polish.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music.
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Dislikes sunlight or any other form of light. (This pertains to vampires promoting the idea that His light is of no use.)
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. (*Remark: it's Count Chocula, not Dracula, idiots.)
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.[/b]
--Neurosis

Holy shit , so Im mad ... And a CHILD!!!!!

[Becca_Lugosi]

-.-


~b.l.

[KontanKarite]

Originally Posted by JCC

FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

IT EVEN SAYS ON THE FUCKING WEBSITE THAT IT'S A JOKE.

TAKE YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASS, YOUR NON-CONFORMISM IS NOT BEING THREATENED, YOU 'ALTERNATIVE' DICKS, IT'S A FUCKING JOKE.

I hate people like you. Even when someone points out that it's a joke you still take it as a massive affront to you, most of you aren't even goth anyway, get the fuck over yourselves.

....I. I think I'm in love with you.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by Ms.Crowbar

And what. You agree that crying is for wimps?
Real men cry, asshole.
People who are true to themselves show their true feelings, regardless of what others may think.

Crying isn't for wimps.

Crying over A WEBSITE that is obviously fake is fucking lame and stupid.

[Necrophagist]

$haDe and Uni cryed over gnet...

[Fae-wolf]

The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it?
WHATEVER!!!....

Gosh, some of the worse people I meant where the brightest of clothes and listen to rap!

[Godslayer Jillian]

So? (filler)

[LaBelleDameSansMerci]

We're not Satanists, we're Satinists!

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/fb182.jpg

[Gothic Piano]

I'm sorry but reading the original post was so funny, I'm still laughing. It's like it's almost so unbeliveably stupid that it couldn't be real, like it was on Family Guy or something as a joke about old fokes. I don't know.

[LiquidEcstasy]

I've seen that chain mail thing so many times that this time round it didn't even make me laugh...

[stolide]

Originally Posted by LaBelleDameSansMerci

We're not Satanists, we're Satinists!

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/fb182.jpg

LMFAO. I almost feel sorry for whoever did that. Almost, he provided me great joy with his blunder.

[BaronBarker]

wow this is funny, pretty much every human does at least two thirds of those

[Godslayer Jillian]

That's not funny.

[KuroOokami]

Originally Posted by BaronBarker

wow this is funny, pretty much every human does at least two thirds of those

That's not funny, it's scary. Provided that this site is not, in fact, a joke, then Christian extremists hate and fear just about everyone. You honestly don't find that frightening?

[BaronBarker]

ya I do find it frightening but anything a christian extremists says usually makes me laugh

[Ditherliss]

Okay Slick (Yeah I say "Slick" like Doopliss. Don't judge me), Allow me to take a look at this, whichout reading the other 10 pages (I'll lurk later).

Originally Posted by Neurosis

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your
child may have gone astray from the Lord.

Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil,darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child:

First off (And don't judge me for this, please, not saying you all would), I'm Christian. Hell, I even pray every night, I don't worship Satan. It's a way of expressing yourself. Honestly, who wrote this? It shames me to be Christian because of Nazi-Christians like whoever wrote this, honestly.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Wears any odd, silver jewelry or symbols. Some of these include: reversed crosses, pentagrams, pentacles, ankhs or various other Satanic worshipping symbols.

Just cutting in here, but I know A LOT of people who wear this stuff purely for the lulz. Just because you wear something doesn't necessarily mean you worship it.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

Go to Seaside Boardwalk, you'll think it's a Demon Orgy.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

Touch my music and I'll make your life a living hell hole, honestly. I think I speak for a lot of people here (But honestly I probably can get you in jail with the right info, I already have some stuff on some people).

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

I'm too pissed at this whole thing to think of a comeback. Just, stop.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

OH NO! But WHO on EARTH could DO such a thing!? DECLINING in the Worship of our Lord and Savior!? OH DEAR ME! I must pray for one hour while dunking my head in Holy Water for just the THOUGHT of that! [/sarcasm]

Honestly, I don't even go to church, it's a waste of time if you ask me. Also, I don't DO Sports, make me, and refer to the Black Mail statement above.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

WTF does Death have to do with Satan? So, if I die, I'm a Satanist?

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

I think they NEED that stuff if they have to deal with someone like this every day... Or even once a month...

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

Emos (the posers) do it to take their mind off their emotional pain, it's not some damn ritual. And I think YOU need a nice long stay a Mental Health Center.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Complains of boredom.

Yeah, because as we all know, If you're bored, YOU'RE A SATANIST!!!

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

Whats "Unusual" mean exactly?

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil spirits through meditation.)

... Are you kidding? Dude, I spend most of the day and night alone, and I don't speak to any fucking demons! Seriously? Are you THAT paranoid!?

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

You saying I should have my damn Father tag along every-damn-where I go?

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

There are many mental illnesses, such a s ADD and ADHD that cause this, and you blame it on Satanism?

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. (*Remark: it's Count Chocula, not Dracula, idiots.)

Are you HONESTLY saying YOU believe Goths eat fucking Semi-Dark-Themed Cereal? HONESTLY!?!?!? You think I eat bat-cookies and gummy worms, too!? What do you think I am!? 5!?

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

Actually I gotta agree with you there, Blood isn't all that healthy for you.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

Dude, I spend, erm, about 8-9 Hours in front of both (at the same time) my Television AND Computer. And don't tell me to watch that Vegitales shit.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

1: What does that have to do with being Goth in general?
2: I'm not even going to get on the whole Video Game violence thing, but I know it DOES NOT cause violent behavior (because dispite that, the only thing you've managed to break so far, is my Heart), and, in fact, can be a good stress releaser. I've play GTA3, and I've killed hundreds of people, and I had fun. And I never went around just kill/beating people. Not even the thought of it.
3: WTF IS WRONG WITH RPGS!? >=O (friggin' Geno Whirl your ass...)

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

Like I said, 8-9 hours. But, I guess I AM Goth, ain't I? But this is usually the Nerd or Basement Dweller.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

Headbangers are not satanist. I'm starting to lose my creativity FYI.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Expresses an interest in sex.

GIGGITY GIGGITY GOO!

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Masturbates

Right, because I'm supposed to **** children! Not masturbate! Silly Satanist! I mean, why release Sperm (which means a longer and happier life) in such a safe and proper manner such as Masturbation? Thats just silly!

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

Yep! Because as we ALL know! GAY PEOPLE ARE DEMONS REINCARNATE FROM HELL IT'S SELF!!!

But honestly, I think we're all smarter then that. If fact, I honestly believe that part was put in the Bible by some Nazi. Like God (if so exists) would actually program someone to be Gay and send them to Hell for it? Seriously? THATS what people think?

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Scientology

Okay, gotta admit there, you got a Kudo for that one...

Originally Posted by Neurosis

Buddhism.

You just lost that Kudo.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

I think if you do that you're just begging to be beat up. Either that, or you're a emo poser.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

-Claims to be a goth.

Makes sense.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

Originally Posted by Neurosis

Satan doesn't live within it. Saying that is like Satan lives within any black object whatsoever, or even Rainbows. SATAN LIVES IN RAINBOWS NOW, HAPPY? WHEN YOU LOOK AT A RAINBOW, PRAY THAT THE WORLD DOESN'T END.

Thats my view. I had fun. And whoever wrote this, I want to beat up. I never really want to beat people up, but in this case, I want to beat them up.
*For clarification, I know the stop starter didn't write this and stuff, just to avoid confusion and people thinking I'm refering "Whoever wrote this" or "Dude" or anything to the topic starter. I use Saracasm in this, if it's not painfully obvious.*

[Underwater Ophelia]

I take back my "I like you."

You're a goddamn idiot.

[Ditherliss]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I take back my "I like you."

You're a goddamn idiot.

Thats better.

[Tam Li Hua]

I'm sure it's been said somewhere on this thread, but that list is from Godhatesgoths.com, which is meant as a parody of Godhatesfags.com. Unfortunately, the latter is a real website created by the scarily extreme Westboro church.

I really wish mother fuckers would delete this fucking thread.

[Tam Li Hua]

Doesn't hurt to ask; PM the admin.

I doubt they'd listen to me. They're not exactly my biggest fan.

Here's an idea, let's just turn this thread into something completely retarded.

I PROCLAIM THIS TO BE THE NEW "SHOW US YR TITS" THREAD!

[Tam Li Hua]

They might; there's only one way to find out. =)

In fact, they'd probably appreciate you taking the initiative to PM them about it. But, it's up to you.

I'd rather see boobies.