Rant Thread II

[Saya]

Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you, my friend, will see
You've got a friend in me
(you've got a friend in me)

Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's one thing you should know
You've got a place to go
(you've got a place to go)

[Apathy's_Child]

Just went to see my best friend who's has fallen off the wagon big-time, after almost four months completely dry. In retrospect, he was probably doin TOO well - but fuck... he wokdn't lookk at me or talk to me properly the whole time, just staring off into space and either grunting, ormaking the expressiosn he seemed to think I wanted to see. Shaking like a leaf and just standing like a fucking shakey fucking stone when I tried to hug him. he's supsoed to be on suicide watch but his parents couldn't take the fucking screams when they tried to talk him ino rehab again. Goddamnit.

[Ben Lahnger]

Saya, I really did not expect that anyone would someday lift my spirits and give me a laugh with a Michael Jackson song.

Well done.

[Fruitbat]

I'm really trying to get over the major funk I had in January. Man you'd think that 8 mths is long enough to recover.

I know I can do it, I've done it heaps of time in the past. C'mon fruitbat you can do it. Find it inside. It's there. I can see the light. Grab it.

Blah, Blah, Blah, etc, etc, etc.

[DRM]

I drunk texted my ex last night who called me...also drunk.We had a conversation about how we're gonna get married and how we're sooooooo totally still in love. I think seeing him at school Tuesday is now going to be awkward.

[Still Jack]

Day 3 without sleep. Monday is going to fuck my head.

[Saya]

God, I'm bored. Got no money and nothing at all to do until Tuesday, which thankfully I can spend at the center assembling booklets. Thats how bored I am, that sounds like a hoot and a holler.

[Fruitbat]

I fell over getting babybat out of his car seat. I went to put my hand out to brace myself and realised that if I did, I'd lose my grip on babybat, so I landed all my weight on a tiny part of my right butt. (my butts not tiny, but I managed to land on the least padded part - at least it wasn't my tailbone).

Baby bat was looking around, wondering why we were lying down in the middle of the carpark.

First thought was: is babybat okay (well he's giggling so he must be)
Second thought was: I really hope I get a good bruise out of this because it hurts like hell.

I've scored a limp out of it... FARK... I'm so uncoordinated, I'm amazed I don't fall over more often.

Just so friggin' mad with myself (which is why it's in the rant thread and not the nothing thread).

[Solumina]

Jake's grandmother is a crazy bitch who is unable to be happy so she makes herself content with spoiling other people's happiness. I don't understand why anyone in the family bothers to listen to her, yet they do. She spins her little web and for some unknown reason they all let themselves get all tangled up.

[Ben Lahnger]

Yes Solumina, I am familiar with that situation and it sucks. And you can't call her on it or do anything to ask her to modify her behavior because all the family members around her that enable that behavior will come to her defense in a variety of ways. And in your situation, since you want to get along with the other family members, the best you can do is keep your head down and give her as little ammo as possible by not sharing any more personal info with her or her circle of confidants than is necessary.

It sucks.

[Ben Lahnger]

So I see a spider crawling along the wall near me and I try to do the humanitarian thing (plus, I like the fact they eat other insects) so I tap on the wall to one side of him to try to herd him away from me ...

and he jumps ON me ... a sure way to get your ass killed no matter who you are.

I'm now taking a moment to regain my breath. And he's taking a dirt nap. Fucker!

[Geoluhread]

I'm on a three-week vacation ...
I wake up at 5 or 7 pm then sleep at 8am..
I know I got nothing to do during the day and it's hot out there so I sleep in.. But I can't help but to feel about doing so

[Saya]

You and me both, Geo. And I gotta wake up at 9 or 8:30 every day once school starts, the adjustment is going to be hard!

[Geoluhread]

My classes next semester will start at 12pm T.T
Stupid registrar ...

[Saya]

hahaha, I was hoping for late classes too XD no dice. My days will start at 11am, but I wanna wake up early to have a hearty breakfast and walk over, which might be a half an hour walk since my first class, of course, is in the building furthest away from my house.

[Geoluhread]

Late classes in the winter suck.. I get home by 7pm with no energy to do any studying..
I'm only glad I got two more semesters and I'm graduating!!

[Saya]

Lucky you!

On my busiest days I try and keep it to no more than three classes a day, so even if its later classes I would normally be home by supper. This semester I got a class on Thursdays from 7pm-9:30pm that's going to be a pain in the ass, was the only time slot for that class though. AND I'm going to have to miss free self defense class for it *sigh*

I'm usually okay with walking by myself at night, but a local woman was missing since July and they identified her body today, murder is suspected, now it just seems more scary.

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Yes Solumina, I am familiar with that situation and it sucks. And you can't call her on it or do anything to ask her to modify her behavior because all the family members around her that enable that behavior will come to her defense in a variety of ways. And in your situation, since you want to get along with the other family members, the best you can do is keep your head down and give her as little ammo as possible by not sharing any more personal info with her or her circle of confidants than is necessary.

It sucks.

*nods head in agreement* it is up to Jake to call his grandmother's bluff. My father used to be very manipulative to his five children. I called him on it one day (um, I was pretty blunt) and after that we had a really good relationship - shame it took me 28 years to do it, and he went all altzimers shortly after (nothing to do with me - it was to do with my stupid sisters)

But the crazy thing was he kept doing it to the other kids. I used to say to my sisters "You are being manipulated" and they would turn around tell me I had no idea what I was talking about, and just get manipulated... But I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that I never made the right decisions (according to them).

He played them. It was his game. He played all of us. Now well there is a huge wedge down the middle of the family and I haven't spoken to two of my siblings for 11 years.

[Saya]

Mature thing to do: establish boundaries.

What I do: Haven't spoken to my paternal grandparents in eleven years! Whoo! Benefit: at a call center that was super strict about sick days, I got to pull the "my grandparents died" card. Distasteful, maybe, but no one was going to find out (they live in Toronto now) and when they do die I won't care enough to take the bereavement day.

What my cousin did: came out of the closet, now they don't talk to him and he lives in peace.

What his sister did: had children out of wedlock, now they refuse to visit her due to the pain the sight of bastards gives them, she lives in peace.

What my father did: fled halfway across the country.

The aggressive thing to do: Every time she gives you shit, start screaming and foaming at the mouth.

The passive aggressive thing to do: spit in her food every time she visits.

I hope that sparks a few ideas, why not make family hostilities as fun as possible?

[Still Jack]

Spit in the food? That's boring. Get some liquid Acid and plonk a drop or two in it. Trippy family fun is sure to happen.

[HumanePain]

I am pompous enough to think I don't care about material things, and then oof: something is gone, right from my near grasp, right out of my hands, and...and I find I am... disappointed. Sad. Even a little angry that what should have been mine was taken by someone else. It really wasn't officially mine yet, but damn it, I told those involved I claimed it and would be back for it and then it's...it's gone.

I am so shallow. But I can say that although I am ranting about it here, I said "It's ok." and there is no conflict, everyone is at peace. And the person who has it needed it more than I. I already have another one, a smaller one, but hell, most people don't even have one, much less two.

But damn it, I wanted it.

:sigh:

[Fruitbat]

I wrote this really long serious post, poured out my little fruitbat heart and then deleted it, because in all honestly no one wants to read about my friggin' sad sack life, from a million years ago.

In summary I shall just say that it was a rant about the jealous, pathetic sad things that happen in families when people die.

I'm strong, independant and if I can't do it then it ain't worth doing. I refuse to rely on anyone.

(Except when I'm in my pj's and I want chocolate, then I smooch up to Mr Bat something chronic, so he will go out and get me some.)

**goes smooching**

If the smooching doesn't work, then I'll just go the the servo wearing a tracksuit over my pjs - it's the sequined slippers that always draw the attention though.

[Saya]

You've been here for a while now, Fruitbat, if you ever need to rant about something, it would have to be pretty trivial before we flame. Like amazingly trivial. Like "I stubbed my toe today" and then rant about that for paragraphs and paragraphs.

I was so excited last night I only got two hours of sleep. BLERGH.

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by Saya

You've been here for a while now, Fruitbat, if you ever need to rant about something, it would have to be pretty trivial before we flame. Like amazingly trivial. Like "I stubbed my toe today" and then rant about that for paragraphs and paragraphs.

I was so excited last night I only got two hours of sleep. BLERGH.

OMG! I like so stubbed my toe last night.. It was like painful and sooooooooo.... okay that's as far as I can go otherwise I'll make myself puke.

It's the past, nothing will change it and it took me a very long time to get over it and I'll never entirely get over it.

Ahh another stupid post, deleting the crap, replacing it with more crap.


I'll sum up my decade of darkness with this brief conversation that I had when I phoned my sister, after I scraped the last of my resilliance off the bottom of the barrel.

Sister: "Oh this better be good. I'm having a terrible day. If you are not going to kill yourself, then I don't want to hear your problems." (she barked down the phone at me)

To which I replied "Well I've sat at the kitchen table for the last hour trying to think up a reason not to. I just rang to say goodbye."

Maybe one day I'll share what happened but I don't want to be flamed or crapped on - because what is traumatic for one person may not appear to be traumatic for anothers. Plus it's really complicated. I'd have to do flow charts or something.

There are things that I haven't told anyone, because, well just because.

Hell I'll probably just make fun of it and no one would give a shite.

[Fruitbat]

I should also say that the reason I didn't go ahead with dying was because one of my few friends would have been assigned the task to investigate my death and there was no way I was going to do that to him because he would have taken it that he had failed me (hell 11 years later, he still feels responsible that he couldn't have helped me out)

Yeah I know.....