Ladies and Gents, your input please!

[L'Oiseau Noir]

Originally Posted by Wormboy

Caffeine is a really addictive drug that isn't to great for your health and there are a LOT of complaints on energy drinks' detrimental effects on the human body.

It's not like I drink tons of it. Mostly it's juices like apple juice, grape, pomegranate, etc, etc, which I usually purchase from the "health" sections of the grocery store.

I'm aware of the detrimental effects of energy drinks. I don't need that pointed out to me. What I meant by being clean and caring about my health was, I didn't break myself down abusing substances or alcohol like many of my fellow teens, reducing myself to some needy, shaky pile of flesh and bone in the end.

I'm so sorry if my being clean offends you. :|

[killer_asian_Dax]

Rock on with your healthy badass self L'Oiseau Noir!

I'm healthy now, save the occasional glass of alcohol. There's nothing wrong with being clean! and the younger you start your healthy ways, the longer you'll live and the greater, happier piece of mind you'll have!

Cheers to you!

[L'Oiseau Noir]

Originally Posted by killer_asian_Dax

Rock on with your healthy badass self L'Oiseau Noir!

I'm healthy now, save the occasional glass of alcohol. There's nothing wrong with being clean! and the younger you start your healthy ways, the longer you'll live and the greater, happier piece of mind you'll have!

Cheers to you!

Aw, thanks so much. :3

That made me smile.

[Wormboy]

Originally Posted by L'Oiseau Noir

It's not like I drink tons of it. Mostly it's juices like apple juice, grape, pomegranate, etc, etc, which I usually purchase from the "health" sections of the grocery store.

I'm aware of the detrimental effects of energy drinks. I don't need that pointed out to me. What I meant by being clean and caring about my health was, I didn't break myself down abusing substances or alcohol like many of my fellow teens, reducing myself to some needy, shaky pile of flesh and bone in the end.

I'm so sorry if my being clean offends you. :|

im bustin your chops a bit dear, no offense meant

hehe and actually they've proven small doses of alcohol regularly can kill off slower weaker braincells and speed up the brain ^_^

[Delkaetre]

Pardon, a mild rant about L'oiseau Noir's choice of phrasing.

I have no problem with being 'clean' about one's habits, but describing habits as 'disgusting' feels rather insulting. I drink, usually at least one alcoholic drink, each weekend- with friends, when we are out at clubs or bars or gigs. Use of the word disgusting to encompass all alcohol and all drugs is too general, and suggests that the habit of having small drinks in moderation in strictly social situations is also considered disgusting.
As for self harm being disgusting- it's something that a lot of people have done because they've been under such pressure and faced such immense emotional difficulty that they've used physical pain to distract from the mental issues. Calling self-harm a disgusting habit suggests that those who resort to it because they cannot get help otherwise are weak and stupid (Perhaps they are intimidated by their school counsellor, or the paperwork they'd have to fill in? Perhaps they cannot get help because those causing them such difficulties have threatened them with dire retribution if they dare get help? It's not unheard of, and not even rare)
All this said, enjoy your life. Go ahead and avoid all drugs if you wish- though I'd offer this warning: caffeine is considerably more detrimental to one's physical state than marijuana is. Don't drink, if that's what you want. Don't cut, if you have other ways of coping with difficulties in your life. But please- have the grace not to insult others while you avoid their habits.

Sorry for that, if it's offended. It's just my attempt to explain why I felt the words could have been chosen better. It strikes me that it's not even necessary, in a yes/no answer situation, to go into one's personal hatred of others' habits.
But I've had a difficult day, and my mood has become quite snarky as a result of this. The people around me are loud and brash, so it's possible that my temper is being funnelled elsewhere. I have no wish to get into any arguments with any members of this board, as this is being expressed as a one-time comment, not as a sweeping declamation that should be remembered and looked into and taken as a deep statement of my character.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

To explain why I said that as I had:

You see, I grew up, and still live with, an alcoholic father. He goes into a rampage and emotionally abuses my mother and I, whenever he's had one too many beers. It's because of this situation I feel the way I do: my father instilled these feelings in me. I'm sorry if I drew out anger in you because of what I said, but also see this from my perspective as well. Would you be able to be kind toward something like alcohol while in my shoes?

Secondly, about my comment on the drugs. My cousin Alicia, who was once a straight "A" student in middle school, fell into the wrong crowd. She started off on Marijuana, then moved onto harder, more harmful things such as Cocaine and Crystal Meth. No longer is she the person she used to be; she's a derelicte, who, if not were it for my family, was going to be kicked out onto the streets. Not only that, but I also once had a close friend, Nathan, who died because he overdosed on drugs during my Freshman year of highschool.

And to explain my views of self-harm, I do find it disgusting. That's my opinion. I cringe whenever I see images of people who'd cut their wrists or harmed themselves in some other way. That, and I know a few people who do, and I hate to see how depressed it makes them; it doesn't help them cope at all. Also, I never suggested the people who do it are stupid, but they are weak to jump to such drastic measures, when they could go to friends or family and have them help out. You can call me a bitch, whatever you please, but this is how I feel, and I wanted to make it clear as to why I felt that way.

I'm sorry if I offended you, I was merely expressing my own thoughts, and I tend to speak aloud harshly without thinking. Next time I'll try to bite my tongue back and keep in behind my teeth.

[Renatus]

Drinking
-How often do you drink?
whenever I'm thirsty
-What do you generally drink?
tea, milk, and water
-What tends to trigger you?
Thirst

Substance use
-How often do you use?
once a day
-What do you use most often?
Zolft
-Has this amount/timing vary according to times of year, etc.?
I forget to take it alot
-Why do you use? (triggers, reasons)?
court ordered
-Where do you get whatever drugs you use?
Wallgreens

Eating binges/deprivation
-Do you overeat or under eat?
undereat
-Frequently or only when coping with something?
frequently
-What will trigger you?
distracting myself to forget things, or just for fun with video games which makes me forget to eat alot.
Self-injury
-How often do you self-injure?
never
-Do you self-injure on and off or regularly?
n/a
-What do you do?
n/a
-What do you use?
n/a
-Does anyone else know?
n/a
-What triggers you?

Suicide
-Have you ever considered suicide?
yes
-Have you ever tried suicide?
yes
-Are you part of a suicide pact or something similar?
no

Other
-Have you ever seen a counselor, psychiatrist etc. for any of the aforementioned reasons?
yes on a bi weekly basis

[Delkaetre]

I'm sorry if I offended you, I was merely expressing my own thoughts, and I tend to speak aloud harshly without thinking. Next time I'll try to bite my tongue back and keep in behind my teeth.

I had no intention of calling you a bitch, sorry if I gave that impression. I had no idea of your background and how it would affect your opinions, and without this to place them in context I simply found your method of writing to be a little... abrasive. I have listened to far too many people disparaging the habits and beliefs of others without a good reason for doing so, and in my haste assumed from your writing that you might be one such. Again, my apologies if you felt I was calling you a bitch.
As for the personal reasons I found your manner rather insulting, many of my friends use marijuana as a recreational drug, and would not consider using anything 'harder' than that. They are good people, generous and some more likely than anyone to offer shelter to someone in need.
People I know who have cut themselves have often done so because they do not feel they can turn to family or friends- in more than one case, they have been abused by family and are isolated from others who could otherwise be their friends. This does not strike me as weakness on their part, as many of them are wonderfully strong and beautiful individuals. They harmed during particularly dark periods of their lives, do not do so now, and still feel even now that they have friends, support, jobs and good homes, that what they did was the only thing they could do. Often these are people who suffered from the abuse of an alcoholic, heavily drug-addicted or otherwise malfunctioning parent, but they are past that now and enjoy a night out with a few friends for a drink.
Naturally, each person reacts differently to such situations. If your mindset is such that you do not move into yourself the way they did, then you are lucky in that. They, however, were rather less fortunate than you seem to have been.
Please, do not take my response as reason to be silent next time you wish to speak out against something- simply consider that others may not understand your viewpoint and will need elaboration.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

I completely understand, I'm sorry again.

I've just got very hostile feelings toward subject matter like this, and often don't stop to think and consider other people's feelings, as terrible as that is.

I'll be sure to word my posts a wee less abrasively next time.

[Delkaetre]

Haha, don't worry - it's understandable... I sometimes find that I catch myself just before posting something, and then going back through to re-word it and take out a few swear words. Giving myself a mental slap on the wrist, as it were!

[korinna5555]

Originally Posted by L'Oiseau Noir

And to explain my views of self-harm, I do find it disgusting. That's my opinion. I cringe whenever I see images of people who'd cut their wrists or harmed themselves in some other way. That, and I know a few people who do, and I hate to see how depressed it makes them; it doesn't help them cope at all.

Shows how much you know..

I'm not going to get in to this, as I find it WAY too personal, and it is very difficult for me to talk about on a public forum.
If anyone wants to talk, though.. belaundead5 @ yahoo . com

[L'Oiseau Noir]

Wow, I really stirred something awful up on this forum.

Geez.

Just ignore my blathering, as it's quite obvious I'm ignorant to these things, and a bit of a bitch. Or if it helps, just ignore my stupid posts if I irritate you.

[korinna5555]

Unless you have ever self-harmed, or REALLY knew someone well who did..
It's complicated; I won't give you a hard time because I doubt you understand it completely. I will talk to you about it if you want, but please remember to be sensitive of others feelings. This is why I didn't post my little "story" on here.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

Originally Posted by korinna5555

Unless you have ever self-harmed, or REALLY knew someone well who did..
It's complicated; I won't give you a hard time because I doubt you understand it completely. I will talk to you about it if you want, but please remember to be sensitive of others feelings. This is why I didn't post my little "story" on here.

I do know people who self-harm, and they do it regularly and severely. A friend of mine, Bethany, was hospitalized recently for cutting her wrists too deeply. They saved her life, luckily, so she's out now. But if you still think I'm ignorant, then I suppose I can't change that.

[korinna5555]

Do you understand exactly why she did it?

[DeathChii]

Drinking
Social drinking does not count!
-How often do you drink? I don't
-What do you generally drink?
-What tends to trigger you?

Substance abuse
"Social" drug use does not count!
-How often do you use? I used to smoke pot once in a while.. and I tried shrooms once lol but I don't do drugs anymore... plus I think it counts as social xD
-What do you use most often? Pot most often when I did
-Has this amount/timing vary according to times of year, etc.? Well I stopped xD
-Why do you use? (triggers, reasons)? It was just for fun =P
-Where do you get whatever drugs you use? Got most of it from my ex lol

Eating binges/deprivation
-Do you overeat or under eat? I eat healthy =D
-Frequently or only when coping with something?
-What will trigger you? I'll under eat and then over eat if I happen to be really stressed or occupied with school and work, not having time for food, and then the next day just eating nonstop lol

Self-injury
-How often do you self-injure? Never
-Do you self-injure on and off or regularly?
-What do you do?
-What do you use?
-Does anyone else know?
-What triggers you?

Suicide
-Have you ever considered suicide? Im anti-suicide, I have thoughts sometimes, but I don't plan to persue them
-Have you ever tried suicide?
-Are you part of a suicide pact or something similar?

Other
-Have you ever seen a counselor, psychiatrist etc. for any of the aforementioned reasons? Not for any of those reasons x]

[Green.Lady]

Originally Posted by L'Oiseau Noir

And to explain my views of self-harm, I do find it disgusting. That's my opinion. I cringe whenever I see images of people who'd cut their wrists or harmed themselves in some other way. That, and I know a few people who do, and I hate to see how depressed it makes them; it doesn't help them cope at all. Also, I never suggested the people who do it are stupid, but they are weak to jump to such drastic measures, when they could go to friends or family and have them help out.

I cannot believe that you honestly believe this... God, I almost want to cry knowing that someone feels this way...

Sorry, but even though I'm not a cutter (except once), I feel empathy for these people. They are not weak, and the act of cutting is not disgusting. The word 'disgusting' brings to mind maggots crawling in the ground, flesh rotting - not a coping mechanism (and yes, it DOES help one cope, I know). Friends and family are often the reasons for depression, and sometimes you feel like no one would understand your problems.

Don't judge. Please.

[korinna5555]

Thanks, Green.Lady..

[DeathChii]

Cutting oneself can only help one cope as much as drugs and alcohol can help one cope. At first it 'helps', but like every other inproductive coping method, it tends to spiral downwards. Cutting yourself is serious, and if you are doing so you should get help.
On the other hand, 'weak' is not the proper word. More like 'not the best decision', but when life is bringing you down so bad, or if you are clinically ill, you're not always thinking out your best options. And once you start cutting yourself, or falling in to drugs or alcohol, you can become dependant and it's hard to stop. Anyway, the bottom line is you SHOULDN'T cutt yourself, just like you shouldn't shoot up heroine. but if you do it doesn't make you disgusting, it doesn't make you weak, but it deffinitley means you should get help, and not just to stop cutting yourself, but for what made you cut yourself in the first place.

[Beneath the Shadows]

Originally Posted by Dancing_in_rain

Of course, this is mainly directed at teenage members of the site (12-21 years old) but if any older forum members can connect to any of the topics from their adolescence, I will take that info too! But the overall subject is adolescent coping skills...

Thanks again everyone!

Well, I'm 26 now, so my answers will pertain to when I was 12-21 years old.

Drinking
Social drinking does not count!
-How often do you drink?

Until I was 19 I didn't drink at all. Then I started drinking every day.

-What do you generally drink?

Back then, beer.

-What tends to trigger you?

At the age of 19 I was living on the streets.

Substance abuse
"Social" drug use does not count!

-How often do you use?

When I was 20 I had a bout with hard drugs. But before and after that, I'd smoke weed (though I don't consider that a drug) occasionally, about once a week or so on average.

-What do you use most often?

Besides weed, I used heroin and crystal meth. Mixed.

-Has this amount/timing vary according to times of year, etc.?

No.

-Why do you use? (triggers, reasons)?

The heroin and meth, I chalk it up to sheer stupidity. For the weed, I smoked it because I enjoyed it. No other reason.

-Where do you get whatever drugs you use?

Mostly from street kids I knew.

Eating binges/deprivation

-Do you overeat or under eat?

No

-Frequently or only when coping with something?

N/A

-What will trigger you?

N/A

Self-injury

-How often do you self-injure?

When I was 12/13, I'd self-injure constantly. Just about every day. As I got older, I simply stopped, with the exception of three seperate times, the last one when I was 21.

-Do you self-injure on and off or regularly?

When I was 12/13, yes. After that, no.

-What do you do?

Cutting and rubbing.

-What do you use?

Razors to cut. Sand paper to rub.

-Does anyone else know?

A few of the people I was closest to.

-What triggers you?

Self-hatred.

Suicide
-Have you ever considered suicide?

Yes.

-Have you ever tried suicide?

Yes.

-Are you part of a suicide pact or something similar?

No.

Other
-Have you ever seen a counselor, psychiatrist etc. for any of the aforementioned reasons?

No.

[wonderland]

I've answered all of the questions with regard to my teenage years. I don't use drugs, or drink outside of social situations, so I eliminated those sections. Have you considered adding a section on sex as self destruction/negative coping?

Eating binges/deprivation
-Do you overeat or under eat?: Diagnosed as ED-NOS, though I generally undereat.
-Frequently or only when coping with something?: I've had an eating disorder since I was about 9. Severity, treatment, and even type have varied.

Self-injury
-How often do you self-injure?: I did regularly between the ages of 11-17. I couldn't necessarily give a specific frequency.
-Do you self-injure on and off or regularly? Ditto?
-What do you do?: Cut, burn.
-What do you use?: X-Acto knife, straight razor, matches, heated metal.
-Does anyone else know?: My mother found out when I was about 13. Whether or not she was aware I continued I'm not sure. I've got long, very deep scars on my legs, so I'm sure my boyfriends were aware too. None of them ever asked about it, though.

Suicide
-Have you ever considered suicide?: Of course.
-Have you ever tried suicide?: Not as a teenager.
-Are you part of a suicide pact or something similar?: Nope.

Other
-Have you ever seen a counselor, psychiatrist etc. for any of the aforementioned reasons?: I was declared unresponsive to treatment at a fairly young age, and eventually was pretty much just left alone. For the better, I believe.

[drewsilla]

I'm 32 and female, hope this can help!


Drinking
Social drinking does not count!
-How often do you drink? It was social, so I guess it didn't count, but when I did it was to get totally shit-faced.
-What do you generally drink? Beer or whatever was there.
-What tends to trigger you? No adults around.

Substance abuse
"Social" drug use does not count!
-How often do you use? Never did drugs as a teen, that came later.
-What do you use most often?
-Has this amount/timing vary according to times of year, etc.?
-Why do you use? (triggers, reasons)?
-Where do you get whatever drugs you use?

Eating binges/deprivation
-Do you overeat or under eat? Over-ate
-Frequently or only when coping with something? All the time.
-What will trigger you? If someone made fun of me or I was feeling blue, which was all the time.

Self-injury
-How often do you self-injure? I carved my name in my leg a few times.
-Do you self-injure on and off or regularly? not regularly.
-What do you do? would cut my name in my leg, sometimes random words like bitch.
-What do you use? sharp kitchen knife and ice.
-Does anyone else know? my husband
-What triggers you? feeling sad or like everything was out of control. Cutting made me feel like I was in control for that moment.

Suicide
-Have you ever considered suicide? no
-Have you ever tried suicide?
-Are you part of a suicide pact or something similar?

Other
-Have you ever seen a counselor, psychiatrist etc. for any of the aforementioned reasons? No, but I've always wanted to, but could not afford one, and when I could there would be no way I'd go to one in my hometown. Small towns are a bitch to live in sometimes.

You should include sex as a coping device. I saw it used alot as a teen. I knew so many people who did not have a stable home, and thought that sleeping with their boyfriends would give them the love they needed, but it usually lead to worse problems that they had to cope with, which was usually handled by using one of the other coping devices, but it always lead back to sex. I was not one of those people, since I was a virgin untill I was 20 and out of school.

Hope I helped!!

[Stormtrooper of Death]

My music and guitar helps me cope with the pressures of life. I just like to unwind with Nevermind the Bollocks and jam on my guitar. Works everytime.

[gothicusmaximus]

Originally Posted by DeathChii

Cutting oneself can only help one cope as much as drugs and alcohol can help one cope. At first it 'helps', but like every other inproductive coping method, it tends to spiral downwards. Cutting yourself is serious, and if you are doing so you should get help.
On the other hand, 'weak' is not the proper word. More like 'not the best decision', but when life is bringing you down so bad, or if you are clinically ill, you're not always thinking out your best options. And once you start cutting yourself, or falling in to drugs or alcohol, you can become dependant and it's hard to stop. Anyway, the bottom line is you SHOULDN'T cutt yourself, just like you shouldn't shoot up heroine. but if you do it doesn't make you disgusting, it doesn't make you weak, but it deffinitley means you should get help, and not just to stop cutting yourself, but for what made you cut yourself in the first place.

We have a winner.

[silverbaal]

Drinking
Social drinking does not count!
-How often do you drink? I am a social drinker. I don't count.
-What do you generally drink? Anything that's fruity or sweet. Beer is nasty.
-What tends to trigger you? (*nothing but a good time*)

Substance abuse
"Social" drug use does not count!
-How often do you use? I have used pot twice, for five minutes each, over a period of a whopping two days. I am not a stoner in any sense of the word.
-What do you use most often?
-Has this amount/timing vary according to times of year, etc.?
-Why do you use? (triggers, reasons)?
-Where do you get whatever drugs you use?

Eating binges/deprivation
-Do you overeat or under eat? I don't anymore but I use to do both.
-Frequently or only when coping with something? I would not say I was coping. But yes, I was definitely, "dealing" since that's what you mean.
-What will trigger you? My undereating was a result of my negative body image. I use to think I was fat, although i've never been over 125 lbs in my life. Still...I always thought I looked awkward in certain things i'd wear. I never looked as slim and graceful as other girls. Overeating was caused by one of two things. A) because of my negative body image, I would overeat. Yes, that's a very good way to deal with it, I know. B) (Surfaced when I was on my college campus) I was depressed about certain things I didn't think I could handle; social situations, ignoring people, etc. It also happened a while before college, I think. When I didn't think my family(me/mom) would get through something and I was extremely worried.

Self-injury
-How often do you self-injure? I do it but rarely.
-Do you self-injure on and off or regularly? On and off.
-What do you do? I cut with a knife until I bleed. I don't go for the wrist. I cut the outside(as opposed to the inside, where all of the veins are) of my arm. I aim to feel it.
-What do you use? Small knives.
-Does anyone else know? My mother and an ex-friend.
-What triggers you? This is never about body image. It's about feeling lonely. Not thinking my situation will ever change. Not thinking I will ever have friends and loves I can call my own and hold. It's about loneliness.

Suicide
-Have you ever considered suicide? Yes.
-Have you ever tried suicide? Yes.
-Are you part of a suicide pact or something similar? No.

Other
-Have you ever seen a counselor, psychiatrist etc. for any of the aforementioned reasons? Yes.