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| General General questions and meet 'n greet and welcome! |
01-29-2006, 02:28 PM
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#5576
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At work on Friday, one of my coworkers was leaving to another office. She was packing up her desk and her husband came along to help. When I passed by, she introduced me. I looked at her husband and couldn't help but be a bit flustered at how good looking he was. I mean, tall dark and handsome with just enough of a 5 o'clok shadow to look dangerous and sexy. I mean, he was so damn HOT!
I kept my cool, and went on my way. When I got back to my desk, another coworker of mine started talking to her and then came back over by my desk to get to his. I whispered to him "Nancy's husband is CUUUUTE!!".
The Coworker promptly turned around, walked back over not to Nancy, but to her husband, and stated loudly "She thinks you're cute!"
Utter mortification.
I turn around and tell Nancy, yes I think her husband is handsome. She just laughs and says I just made his day. Dave, the loud mouth, walks back to his desk and I hiss that I Hate His Guts. And I pronounced everyone of those capital letters.
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01-29-2006, 02:45 PM
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#5577
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,387
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how to be annoying online
1. Make up fake acronyms. Online veterans like to use abbreviations like IMHO (in my humble opinion) or RTFM (read the fucking manual) to show that they're "hep" to the lingo. Make up your own that don't stand for anything (SETO, BARL, CP30), use them liberally, and then refuse to explain what they stand for ("You don't know that? RTFM").
2. WRITE YOUR MESSAGES IN ALL CAPS AND DON'T USE RETURNS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO SCROLL ACROSS THEIR SCREENS TO READ EVERY LINE. ALSO USE A LOT OF !!!!! TO SHOW THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT BEING HERE!
3. When replying to your mail, correct everyone's grammar and spelling and point out their typos, but don't otherwise respond to the content of their messages. when they respond testily to your "creative criticism," do it again. Continue until they go away.
4. Software and files offered online are often "compressed" so that they won't take so long to travel over the phone lines. Buy a compression program and compress everything you send, including one-word e-mail responses like "Thanks."
5. Upload text files with Bible passages about sin or guilt and give them names like "SexyHousewivesI," then see how many people download it. Challenge your friends to come up with the most popular come-ons.
6. cc: all your e-mail to Al Gore ( [email protected]) so that he can keep track of what's happening on the Internet.
7. Join a discussion group and tie whatever's being discussed back to an unrelated central theme. For instance, if you're in a discussion of gun control, respond to every message with the observation that those genetically superior tomatoes seem to have played an important role. Within days, all discussion of gun control will have ceased as people write you threatening messages and instruct others to ignore you.
__________________
"And if you didn't get all that, here's a short synopsis. I FUCKING DON'T LIKE YOU, CUNT."
--Geisha
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01-29-2006, 03:10 PM
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#5578
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,387
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I have reworked my post from earlier today.
I think you guys will love it:
I HAART ABIELNA1!1!! LOL I LOVE TAHT 2WN FOR SOME RAASON!1!!1! OMG LOL I THINK ITS DA FOD
HOUS2N!!11! LOL SUX I AGRE BUT LIEK U E_P_S I WAS BORN AND RASEAD THEYRE1!11 WTF LOL I MOVAD HERE 2 SOUTH DAKOTA WIT MAH MOM WHEN I WAS A JUNIOR IN HIGH SKOOL!1!!!!!! OMG H-2WN WIL ALWAYS HAEV A SPECIAL PLAEC IN MAH HEART
BY1!!!!!1! WTF LOL TEH WAY HOUS2N HAS MOR3 OBSA PEOPLE THAN ANY OTH3R CITY IN DA WORLD
ON!!1! A RALAETD 2PIC I VOW 2 N3VAR GO 2 WAL-MART AFTER 7 M OR BFORA MIDNIGHT AGANE!!!!1!11 LOL TOK ABOUT FAT FUKNG PAOPLE11!11!! LOL JESUS1!11! WTF TH3Y BLOK AL TEH ASELES THEYRE CART R OVER-FLOWNG WIT JUNK FOD AND GOD DMN R TH3Y SLOW
I!!!!11!1 OMG WTF WANT THEYRE B/C MAH FREIND 2LD ME TH3Y HAEV A GOD SAL3CTION OF ORGANIC FODS (WHICH TH3Y DO) AND ENDED-UP G3TNG FUKNG SUP3R PISED-OF AT THES3 FAT FUKNG RETARDS1!111 WTF FUK
IM BTER NOW TAHT I HAEV ESPRESO AND A GR3AT SALAD
GOD11!1 OMG WTF LOL FOD=GOD LIEF!!!!!1!! OMG
__________________
"And if you didn't get all that, here's a short synopsis. I FUCKING DON'T LIKE YOU, CUNT."
--Geisha
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01-29-2006, 03:20 PM
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#5579
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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Tenet, I'd laugh if that was comprehensible.
Wait, let me drink heavily ... I'll be right back ...
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Okaaayyy ... my comprehenshun ish jusht fine noooowww!
Oh ... ha ha ha hic ha ha *belch* er ha ha ... thash ish vaarrry funny!
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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01-29-2006, 07:47 PM
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#5580
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,793
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by tenet_2012
I have reworked my post from earlier today.
I think you guys will love it:
I HAART ABIELNA1!1!! LOL I LOVE TAHT 2WN FOR SOME RAASON!1!!1! OMG LOL I THINK ITS DA FOD
HOUS2N!!11! LOL SUX I AGRE BUT LIEK U E_P_S I WAS BORN AND RASEAD THEYRE1!11 WTF LOL I MOVAD HERE 2 SOUTH DAKOTA WIT MAH MOM WHEN I WAS A JUNIOR IN HIGH SKOOL!1!!!!!! OMG H-2WN WIL ALWAYS HAEV A SPECIAL PLAEC IN MAH HEART
BY1!!!!!1! WTF LOL TEH WAY HOUS2N HAS MOR3 OBSA PEOPLE THAN ANY OTH3R CITY IN DA WORLD
ON!!1! A RALAETD 2PIC I VOW 2 N3VAR GO 2 WAL-MART AFTER 7 M OR BFORA MIDNIGHT AGANE!!!!1!11 LOL TOK ABOUT FAT FUKNG PAOPLE11!11!! LOL JESUS1!11! WTF TH3Y BLOK AL TEH ASELES THEYRE CART R OVER-FLOWNG WIT JUNK FOD AND GOD DMN R TH3Y SLOW
I!!!!11!1 OMG WTF WANT THEYRE B/C MAH FREIND 2LD ME TH3Y HAEV A GOD SAL3CTION OF ORGANIC FODS (WHICH TH3Y DO) AND ENDED-UP G3TNG FUKNG SUP3R PISED-OF AT THES3 FAT FUKNG RETARDS1!111 WTF FUK
IM BTER NOW TAHT I HAEV ESPRESO AND A GR3AT SALAD
GOD11!1 OMG WTF LOL FOD=GOD LIEF!!!!!1!! OMG
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hahahaha!
tenet - that was fuckin' funny, dude.
__________________
"How many times can I say I'm not sorry? And how many ways can I show I don't care?" - Type O Negative
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01-29-2006, 07:56 PM
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#5581
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,111
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Tenet- you've got SKILL. The UN needs you as a translator...
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01-29-2006, 09:00 PM
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#5582
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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To hell with the UN ...
he could get overworked trying to translate half of the conversations on the internet ...
or even the ones held on the southwest side of Houston.
And I'm only talking about the English conversations!
How the hell does anyone communicate at all anymore?
wait ...
I know ...
the answer ...
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POORLY.
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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01-29-2006, 11:19 PM
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#5583
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dallas, TX.....Like you even give a damn.
Posts: 1,210
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Soooo... Yeah....
My hair is black now. I actually decided 'what the hell' and let my friend dye it.
I wish I had more time to work on my art. With school and company lately, I haven't touched the pieces I'm working on in a while.
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TwistedKitsune: I like broccoli too! Just not when it's thrown out a window at my back by an ornery 5 year old...
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01-29-2006, 11:28 PM
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#5584
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I'm singing in the rain...
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01-29-2006, 11:31 PM
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#5585
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Dallas, TX.....Like you even give a damn.
Posts: 1,210
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Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm happy again
I'm laughing at clouds
So dark up above
The sun's in my heart
And I'm ready for love
Let the stormy clouds chase
Everyone from the place
Come on with the rain
I've a smile on my face
I walk down the lane
With a happy refrain
Just singin',
Singin' in the rain
I'm sorry, she made me do it. *points to DA* 
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TwistedKitsune: I like broccoli too! Just not when it's thrown out a window at my back by an ornery 5 year old...
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01-30-2006, 12:30 AM
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#5586
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by TheKorovaMilkbar
Soooo... Yeah....
My hair is black now. I actually decided 'what the hell' and let my friend dye it.
I wish I had more time to work on my art. With school and company lately, I haven't touched the pieces I'm working on in a while.
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PICTURES!!!
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01-30-2006, 01:08 AM
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#5587
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,387
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I just downloaded the complete series of Firefly, Dead Like Me (the greatest show ever made) and Twin Peaks.
I also got The Birthday Massacre's ablum entitled "Violet".
I'm not sleeping tonight!
__________________
"And if you didn't get all that, here's a short synopsis. I FUCKING DON'T LIKE YOU, CUNT."
--Geisha
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01-30-2006, 02:25 AM
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#5588
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,387
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Mysophilia is the practice of ingesting the body fluids of corpses, particularly urine.
__________________
"And if you didn't get all that, here's a short synopsis. I FUCKING DON'T LIKE YOU, CUNT."
--Geisha
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01-30-2006, 02:26 AM
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#5589
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 3,793
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that pretty much inspires me to write.
thanx.
__________________
"How many times can I say I'm not sorry? And how many ways can I show I don't care?" - Type O Negative
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01-30-2006, 03:42 AM
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#5590
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: australia, WA
Posts: 61
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We will need you in the near future Tenet. Soon the government will start typing like that. Nobody will be able to understand it. I'm scared!?
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01-30-2006, 05:22 AM
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#5591
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Tampa Bay
Posts: 491
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by tenet_2012
I just downloaded the complete series of Firefly, Dead Like Me (the greatest show ever made) and Twin Peaks.
I also got The Birthday Massacre's ablum entitled "Violet".
I'm not sleeping tonight!
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Dead like me is the greatest show ever made! Tenet, you rock babe!
__________________
I seek the animated corpse that preys upon the living, usually by night, seeking blood to continue its existence.
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01-30-2006, 06:53 AM
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#5592
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by JuliaGaltic
Dead like me is the greatest show ever made! Tenet, you rock babe!
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No, you both rock! I absolutely love show!
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01-30-2006, 07:26 AM
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#5593
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Um, lower, oh yeah, uh, uh ... YES THERE!
Posts: 6,738
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I'm buring CD's full of MP3's for my trip. I'm going to take 10 CD's with between 100 and 150 songs per CD. I'll have my portable MP3 CD player with headphones and a set of mini-speakers for the hotel room.
I hate to be without my music. And I'm going to be on 10 planes by the time I'm back on the 18th, including two flights between Chicago and Amsterdam. I'll have books and magazines, a gameboy color with a few strategy and RPG games, and 6 episodes of Seinfeld and Family Guy to watch on my PDA cell phone. But it will be the music that will get me through most of that.
I'm just so damn pleased that I can carry so much music in such a small space! And I am really happy that I have such a wide range of musical styles to pick from.
Now I just need to get out and buy batteries and gum.
Oh, and I'm going to get my picture taken riding a camel up the side of a volcano. I will post in the pic post thread when I come back.
__________________
Lead me not into temptation ... follow me, I know a shortcut!
As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.
Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
Last edited by Ben Lahnger; 01-30-2006 at 07:27 AM.
Reason: grammar
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01-30-2006, 10:33 AM
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#5594
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,387
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I'm gonna cut my toe nails now.
__________________
"And if you didn't get all that, here's a short synopsis. I FUCKING DON'T LIKE YOU, CUNT."
--Geisha
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01-30-2006, 11:05 AM
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#5595
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: I own Pitseleh!!
Posts: 3,747
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Ben makes me want an ipod even more!
Stop it!
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01-30-2006, 11:37 AM
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#5596
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,387
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Get The Brirthday Massacre!
This shit feckin' rocks!
__________________
"And if you didn't get all that, here's a short synopsis. I FUCKING DON'T LIKE YOU, CUNT."
--Geisha
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01-30-2006, 04:22 PM
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#5597
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Tampa Bay
Posts: 491
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I have just been made very happy due to some very good news...
----------------------------------------------------
On Friday, March 24th 2006
THE BIRTHDAY MASSCRE
LIVE!
In Vinnie Saletto's
Infinity Room
@ The Masquerade
1503 E 7th Avenue Ybor City, Tampa Florida
813-247-3319
Tickets: $10 or $12 DOS
Doors: 7pm
ALL AGES WELCOME!
website:
http://www.thebirthdaymassacre.com/
myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/thebirthdaymassacre
join the communion after dark newsgroup:
http://launch.groups.**********/group...nionafterdark/
----------------------------------------------------
I don't know if they're actually doing an official tour but I know they're coming to my town and I'm so excited!!!
__________________
I seek the animated corpse that preys upon the living, usually by night, seeking blood to continue its existence.
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01-30-2006, 07:21 PM
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#5598
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Raleigh
Posts: 290
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I have a date. To a school-sanctioned dance. Her name is Kate. I'm wearing the Tux.
__________________
Truth, justice, honor...none of that's worth shit. What matters is people, and people aren't honest or just or honorable. They're petty and they're angry and they're afraid, and all anyone really wants, deep down, is to be wanted. And what's truth to that?
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01-30-2006, 07:28 PM
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#5599
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Raleigh
Posts: 290
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I love you more than I love food! And I'm fat, so you're pretty much God.
I last posted a few days ago...I've only been back for a lil while.
I missed you too. PM me and you can have my screen name and we can talk forever! Because I definitely never want to go that long again without your bladdery foodness.
__________________
Truth, justice, honor...none of that's worth shit. What matters is people, and people aren't honest or just or honorable. They're petty and they're angry and they're afraid, and all anyone really wants, deep down, is to be wanted. And what's truth to that?
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01-30-2006, 07:30 PM
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#5600
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Raleigh
Posts: 290
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One of those arranged marriages, huh? That's okay, they'll eventually fall for each other. I'm up for it if you are.
__________________
Truth, justice, honor...none of that's worth shit. What matters is people, and people aren't honest or just or honorable. They're petty and they're angry and they're afraid, and all anyone really wants, deep down, is to be wanted. And what's truth to that?
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