Rant Thread

[thekorupt]

Originally Posted by Jaye Jang

Thekorupt, how are you feeling today? If you are still feeling the same can you afford to see a doctor? I work in a hospital and there are a lot of things the muscle cramps could signify, everything from caffeine withdrawal (it is one of the primary ingredients in 'migraine' medications), to fibromyalgia, to simple muscle cramps from flu to dehdration. At any rate, you need to find out what is causing that, and the headache -- and please, if you can, drink plenty of fluids to stay hydrated. Take care of yourself.

Actually, I have really severe fibro. I have for 8 years now. When the weather gets bad (as in the hurricane just south of me), I get bad. Today was rough... I just paced playing video games to try to get my mind off the pain. I am supposed to see my rheumatologist on the 29th, and hopefully, she will be helpful. I went to a pain care doctor that had me on a dose of methadone so high that I almost ended up in the ICU. Yeah, there is a complaint about him being filed to the medical board. Come to find out, his license has ben pulled before for the same thing.

What all this boils down to is I haven't been able to afford my meds. I can't afford my muscle relaxers, or anything else, so I have been taking half doses. That is totally not working out. And I havent had any of my sleep meds in like 3 weeks. So yeah.. my body is pretty much running down. I swear, I honestly feel like I'm dying. My skin even hurts. The rough part is so many people dont even believe fibro exists, so they doubt me. Steven, one of my friends, literally cannot wrap his mind around "chronic pain". He just doesnt understand that someone can hurt chronically and doctors not be able to fix it.

Thanks for the concern Jaye... means alot to me :-)

[Jaye Jang]

Hey, TK, one of my best friends has fibromyalgia and it totally floorboards her sometimes. (Put an end to her career at HP. She was a graphics analyst, and she can no longer sit for long periods of time). Fortunately, she now works for a television station and they let her work on a laptop out of the special bed that she basically 'lives' in. *hugs* Sending positive thoughts your way.

[ForgetThisLostLenore]

My leg aches. I walked around with my mom through malls and craft stores and then sat in the car for an hour again. For some odd reason, I've got the medical problems in the family such as SEVERE scoliosis, which annoys me, because it's SEVERE enough to make one hip higher and SEVERE enough to bug me if I bend over too long, but not SEVERE enough to do anything about. My spine is apparently s-shaped :P

[LaBelleDameSansMerci]

I've got a crooked spine... though not severely so... but it's enough to make me asymmetrical and thus grate my vanity.

[disorder]

I'm sick of my family. I'm sick of most of the people I know, in fact. I'm sick of school. I'm sick of work. I'm sick of dancing. Everyone and everything annoys me to shits.

ARGH. I hope this passes. My friends are getting angry at me because I avoid them all the time.

[badteccy]

If Learning Express doesn't hire me I am going to...well, do nothing I guess except bitch about my lack of monies.

[MollyMac]

I have realized that there is a sizeable gap between what I want my body to look like aesthetically and what I need it to be able to do physically.

Thinness is not always best, if it costs you strength.

Off to grab some milk, now.

[honeythorn]

I am being held prisoner by heat and flying ants

[MollyMac]

Bastards. You must smite them.

[She_Is_My_Sin]

Originally Posted by disorder

I'm sick of my family. I'm sick of most of the people I know, in fact. I'm sick of school. I'm sick of work. I'm sick of dancing. Everyone and everything annoys me to shits.

ARGH. I hope this passes. My friends are getting angry at me because I avoid them all the time.

I know what you're going through. Try and work past it, do some things that you actually like and can help you relax. Stop concentrating on why you are sick with various things, as that can nark you off even more.

Also, let people know how you feel. Seriously, when I was feeling in a similar way I stopped speaking to my friends completely, my relationships with them broke down and never fully recovered (though there were other things to blame aswell).

I wish you the best with it all.

[thekorupt]

Disorder:

Sheismysin is right... Let people know what is going on. If they are friends, they will get it.

Try to eliminate the fluff in your life that annoys you. Simplify. Return to your basics that make you calm and happy.

I hope it gets better...

Jaye:
Yeah... I have been hunting for a job I can do from home. I had to quit my job, and its about to make me nuts. I refuse to let this beat me, but damn is it ever trying to.

[ForgetThisLostLenore]

Originally Posted by LaBelleDameSansMerci

I've got a crooked spine... though not severely so... but it's enough to make me asymmetrical and thus grate my vanity.

I'm not even really too bad off in tilting one direction, though one friend has told me that I walk with my weight significantly heavier on one side. That's what is really perplexing the doctors I've been to, I should be leaning to one side, I should be in pain more often than not, and having such a severe curve should be having a huge impact on everything I do.

The last one I went to though, had copies of the x-rays and shook my hand the entire time because you can barely tell that anything's wrong. My spine has apparently curved in such a way that while the lower half has completely shifted to one side, the rest compensated. In most cases as severe as mine, they said they'd normally do surgery as soon as they could, but since I don't mind it too much, and I'm not leaning to one side, they've decided to leave it alone.

[HumanePain]

Originally Posted by disorder

I'm sick of my family. I'm sick of most of the people I know, in fact. I'm sick of school. I'm sick of work. I'm sick of dancing. Everyone and everything annoys me to shits.

ARGH. I hope this passes. My friends are getting angry at me because I avoid them all the time.

It seems to me that maybe you need a vacation sweetheart. Try to arrange time where your family will leave you alone, or when you can go somewhere with a trusted friend who will (once you leave the family home) allow you to get away by yourself. You two can meet up later and then go home. But the symptoms show you need a break, in my opinion. I hope you get a good rest and some "down" time.

[gothicusmaximus]

Guess whose house got hit by fucking lightning?

[Underwater Ophelia]

Are you for real?

[gothicusmaximus]

I'm certainly not fucking around. Now all I need to do is be mauled by a shark and I'll have been victim to the natural world's two most improbable inconveniences.

[MollyMac]

It's Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

uh...


...hide.

[Underwater Ophelia]

I just spent two fucking hours putting lace all over a tank top.
It looks BEAUTIFUL lying flat...but when I put it on, it was all messed up.

I'm really disappointed.

[Anguelon]

i hate summer, i hate heat...i want winter to come soon

[MitsyMayhem]

I have to agree. Your makeup melts, you stink, the sun burns, and everyone's just asking for cancer. Bleh. Bleh. I can't way for winter.

[PortraitOfSanity]

I fucking hate Metallica. This has been my rant for the day.

[HumanePain]

OK, now this is just WEIRD: The are freaking AIR RAID SIRENS going off here! I hope it's just a freaking test, but it still gives one concern. There is nothing in the sky, but weirder yet no traffic. Usually there are cars all over Southern California. I don't know what the hell is going on. Nothing on the news, no clues!
And my grandson isn't here now, he is visiting his father. Maybe I should go get him. What the hell is going on???

[Crying_Crimson_Tears]

It's too quiet in my house right now.

[MollyMac]

Left field dream I can barely recall really affected my headspace today..
When I finally got to sleep last night, all electrical storms and boom-boom-boom, my dreams were mad. It was all Tom Waits before his voice became his voice, before the gravel and stout.

And I was holding hard to the leg of someone I don't know if I know, save that I knew it was my last day, my last few hours with him before he died again. I knew he had come back, that he had come back for some unknown reason.

It was not love or anything other than some need to wait out every last moment before he was gone again, like a mist under a Death Valley sun. I knew he would leave, I knew I could not stop it, and I soaked his jeans with tears and not useless begging, and his hand was in my hair, but the heat was fading by teh time I realized I was where I was and what was going on.

But there was a heaviness in my heart as I felt his flesh growing colder, and the skin on top of that flesh becoming sweaty with unnatural, formaldehyde folds sinking in to the creases of his fingers and toes. I wanted him to touch me back, but I knew that he couldn't. Not now. I don't know why he came back, why I supplanted myself on the floor, next to his chair, waiting for a reason.

It's scarier without a motive, scarier not knowing who he was or why my heart cried for him to stay, scarier yet that I held onto this sadness for what feels a fortnight of hours while awake. What grief is this, if it cannot be defined?

[disorder]

SIMS, korpt and HP - thanks guys

I'm going on a weekend trip away with my Natashas' this weekend (for shopping and AFL, fuelled No Doz and Rockstar drinks). Hopefully they can de-blarg me.