the Corrupted Wishes game

[Godslayer Jillian]

I liked this thread (though I still don't get why did TStone got mad at me)
I wish this thread can be resurrected.....

[Sobeh]

Granted. The wishes henceforth are laden with forum trolls, and the thread is tainted evermore. Caw...

[Godslayer Jillian]

Oh, you're supposed to ask for a wish now

[Sobeh]

Fuck.. I wish these lecture notes were already written, since I have to deliver them in eight hours.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Wish granted.

However, because the wish fairy had to do the lecture notes in such a rush, they were all written in illegible l33t speak. You show up to class and are unable to do the lecture. Your students complain about your lack of preperation and your boss fires you.

I wish that the heating in our house wasn't broken.

[bjork_freak]

Granted.

The heating in your house is fixed, but a neighbor kid was stuck in the vents. You are now charged with man slaughter.

I wish I could fly.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

You can fly but due to your lack of expertise you crash into a building, doing serious damage to your spine. You are now reliant on life support machines to survive.

I wish that I could travel overseas.

[Sobeh]

Granted. Unfortunately, every time you do, you become violently ill and must be transported back home to the only hospital that can treat your condition.

I wish I didn't need sleep.

[disorder]

Granted. But then, the gays want equal rights and demand that they be able to not sleep too. There are roits, protest marches and all that nasty stuff, and someone ends up being killed. The Court the decides that you are to blame, so they throw you into jail for manslaughter. Then everyone goes out and drinks martinis while you are left to twiddle your thumbs in a dark, damp, nasty-smelling hole with a half-dead frog and an old shoe.

I wish there was no-such-thing as bodyhair.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

Body hair no longer exists - until you decide to participate in one of those programs that tests new drugs. Your body has a violent allergic reaction to the drug, causing body hair to sprout up all over you, covering you until you look like Cousin It. People regard you as a freak and you are outcast from society, doomed to spent the rest of your life in isolation.

I wish that I hadn't just finished the last of the hot chocolate.

[bjork_freak]

Granted.

There is a new box of hot chocolate in the kitchen, but the only liquid in the house is expired orange juice.

I wish I was paid to go to school.

[TwistedKitsune]

Granted.

You are paid to go to school. However, you are paid in anchovies, old socks, and rusty tin cans.

I wish that I knew how to teleport.

[Sobeh]

Granted. The problem is, you find yourself able to teleport only whilst unconscious, resulting in a series of embarrassing mishaps involving sleeping pills, alcohol, and farmsteads, culminating in a certain ill-fated dream about the moon...

I wish I could start life over knowing everything I do now.

[Mr E Nigma]

Granted... When you are born you are able to think and speak as if you were yourself in 25 years. Scientists find this to be miraculous and commandeer you and your family for testing. In testing your parents both die from unknown substances so you break free of the facility. You hideout in some abandon warehouse a few miles south. You recall wanting a wish to start life over knowing what you did when you were 25 and realized because of that you are directly responsible for killing your parents. Realizing what you have done, due to immense stress and trauma from loss of parents, you commit suicide by hanging yourself with a rope from the sculpture outside of the scientific facility where you were kept for testing. You were holding a sign that said "We cannot wish for that we know not." To this day, people are still trying to decipher what your suicide/sign meant.

I wish to be a lot closer to a certain person that I will leave unnamed, lets just call her "Anastasia."

I wish to be a lot closer to "Anastasia"

[TwistedKitsune]

Granted.

You are now closer to "Anastasia". Perhaps far too close. Due to a freak accident you are now joined to "Anastasia" at the shoulderblades and spine via several metal rods that, while mostly missing your most vital organs, also make it impossible to unattach the two of you at the risk of losing one or both of you. Neither of you wanting to die, they surgically and permanently adhere you both as your only chances of survival. Now stuck back to back you not only never get to see her face to face, but you soon, much to your chagrin, find out that she's managed to hide the fact that she's a schizophrenic werewolf very well...until now. Suffice it to say that this unfortunate event soon ends in your demise, and hers as well. How sad!

I wish I could find a new job!

[TwistedKitsune]

Granted.

Your test is postponed but now involves taking it in a volcanic crater. Even better yet is the fact that the volcano is expected to erupt at sometime during the day, but it isn't know exactly when. Your survival depends on completing the test as quickly as possible and making your way down the volcano and out of harms way in time.

I wish my bank account magically replenished itself...

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

Your bank account replenishes itself... with other people's money. After many complaints from people about thier money disappearing, there is a police investigation and you are arrested. You go to jail. While in jail you meet a serial killer who had all his money, the money he was using to pay his lawyer, simply disappear. He discovers that this is your fault and you end up dead.

I wish that I could drop Japanese this year.

[Icarian Decoding]

Indeed, you may drop Japanese this year. Unfortunately, your replacement class is the most unenjoyable AP language class possible: German, taught by a seventy-five year old pedofile, who seemingly wishes to invite all of his male, and female students for "After-school" studying, or else you will be given a very bad review for college.

I wish I didn't remember anything.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

You forget everything, including how to walk, talk, breathe and make your heart beat. You die.

I wish the builder would be on time!

[TwistedKitsune]

I'm sorry...I can't grant that wish...*is a Japanese major*

Ok, ok. Wish granted. You drop Japanese, but because you don't practice it anymore, you forget everything you learn, and run into several members of the Yakuza in a supermarket. They ask you a question that you attempt to answer, but in the process you greatly offend them and they open fire on everyone in the supermarket. Because you dropped Japanese you caused the death of nearly everyone in the store.

I wish I had a kiwi (the fruit, not the bird)

[Icarian Decoding]

Magpie > Wish Granted. The builder is on time. But he's stoned off his ass, and he thinks you're very attractive. Luckily, him and Bruce decide that you will be their new "toy".

I wish, that I had a new matchbook.

[TwistedKitsune]

Granted.

You have a new matchbook, but it spontaneously combusts whenever you set it down.

I wish I didn't type so slow!

[Magpie_Tendencies]

(Kitsune - Since my Japanese is shocking, I would probably have caused the deaths you forsee, regardless of whether I had kept up the language or not!)

Your wish is granted.

You now type at 200wpm. However, due to your new typing capacity, the FBI sees you as a threat to government security and has you arrested for being a "possible cracker".

I wish this song wouldn't take so long to download.

[TwistedKitsune]

Granted.

It doesn't take forever to dowload, but when it does (almsot instantaneously) it contains a rather nasty virus that renders your files non accessable and causes you to lose absolutely everything on your computer.

I wish my feet weren't cold.

[Magpie_Tendencies]

Granted.

The wish fairy gives you magic socks to warm up your feet. However the spell on the socks soon breaks and the socks catch fire leaving your feet seriously burnt and you are unable to walk due to the constant pain.

I wish that my community action forms were already completed.