the Corrupted Wishes game

[Rosesash]

granted
you now smell sweet all the time even when you sweat(or pee) because you've developed diabetes
I wish I never had to sleep

Granted:

You are suddenly cured of the need for sleep. You are ever alert and functional... for a while. After a few weeks you are filled with the increasingly uncontrollable urge to lay down and sleep but you cannot. You lay awake nights wishing you could close your eyes and dream. Eventually your over active and unrested imagination begins to take over your perception of things around you. Your life quickly becomes a never ending psychotic episode in the vein of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas". Your life ends in a tragic high speed car chase that is featured as a two minute entry into an episode of "Worlds Greates Police Chases". This makes your mom cry.

I wish my son would freaking listen and follow instructions.

[(-$|N-)]

Granted - Your son now listens to every instruction you make when you say it. After a few weeks of constantly listening to you, you get annoyed with him and tell him to go play in traffic and he does. Sadly, he get abducted and your forced to pay a million dollars to a kidnapper.

I wish I could play with fire for a living.

[ice]

Granted, you get a job as a pyrotechnic for some heavy metal band, but while on tour, a crate of highly flammable explosives is set off by some dumbass smoking backstage. Your legs and right hand are "traumatically amputated", while the rest of your body suffers 3rd degree burns. While the operation to graft skin all over your body is successful, the doctor turns up on extacy and a tragic mix of other chemicals. Halfway through the operation, he stops what he's doing and takes off his gloves and strokes his disgusting fecal-matter covered hands over your bleeding wounds and fresh pink skin. Three months later you have gangrene all over your face and you attempt suicide by steering your wheelchair off a cliff.. but unfortunately (again) for you, you live, and suffer massive breaks in all the bones in your body. You agonize there for two days, rotting outside-in. On the morning of the third day you smash your face into a jagged rock and your brains fall out. Your disgusting corpse is eaten by a half-blind vulture - who takes a fat shit in your chest-cavity.

I wish I could always make the right decision.

[Demonista_Ravenesque]

Granted, granted granted, Now that you always make the right decisions, politicians get jealous of your special skill, so they kick your ass and you die...after all that political ass kicking....goddamn.

I wish I had the ability to play THE SUPER BASS (I'm talking Flea folks, what a bassist)

[Panther]

Granted, only now you can't do anything else. You soon die of thirst, after loosing your fingers to friction.

I wish that I had more money.

[Courtenay1218]

You do, and all of a sudden, you realize eeryone around you is immortal, and you're about to die.



I wish I had a Dodge Charger.

Granted, but it is a very old beat up and non working Dodge Charger.

I wish I had better food for lunch.

[Planewalker]

Granted. Four star chefs cater your every desire. The cuisine is so delicious, and in such variety, that you lose all beauty you now posess and marry a man named Buck (who, incidentily, moves you to russia to become shrimp farmers and feed your army of Mullets [you call them kids]). Later in life, as technology advances and the new Fat Free, Calorie Free McDonalds sweeps the world, you regain all beauty you once posessed (and much, much, more{if that were possible}) and return to your once grand home (gothic.net) only to find that it has been replaced by teenie boppers who think Snoop is god and Merlot is a magician from an old Gladiator story.

I wish to be Hugh Heffner in his prime.


lease forgive any errors that I might have over looked, I am in class need not be caught:

[edible_eye]

granted. however, your best friend, jake jeffries - a quirky fellow with a penchant for dressing in nothing but a silk sweatsuit - has just come out with a new, groundbreaking skin mag called 'playthings for boys' and no one is interested in your endeavors. in fact, he finds out about the magazine you're trying to produce and sues you for copyright infringement. and amazingly, he wins.

i wish i could live two, alternate lives.

[Panther]

Granted. Only you don't know this, because your lives are totally seperate from each other. So even though you get your wish, you don't know, and feel unfullfilled.

I wish that I didn't have to think up a wish to make up outcomes of others' wishes.

[edible_eye]

granted. all thought processes shut down and eventually you slip into a coma, being that your ideas and mental capacity are no longer needed.

i wish i was drunk right now.

[TeapotScar]

This is an easy one- Granted, you're so drunk you kill and eat an entire horse (raw), and proceed to die from 1) the disease that live in raw horse meat, and 2) the fact that you ate so much your intestines bloat more than those of a PMSing woman with a seltzer addiction.

I wish I had a cute little french maid outfit.

[pitseleh]

Granted. You get a package in the mail labelled "Cute Little French Maid - Outfit". It smells funny. Upon opening it, you discover the complete skin of a formerly cute little french maid, with a zipper in the back.

Instead of sighs of rapture, there will be shrieks of terror in the bedroom tonight...


I wish I found 10 kilos of fine Afghan hash in a box that had drifted ashore.

Granted, but there was a hole in the box and it also happened to drift amid an oil slick on its way to shore so now you are left very wet, oily hash.

I wish I was never sad.

[edible_eye]

granted. ever see ren and stimpy? happy, happy, joy, joy... ring a bell? enjoy your insanity, hot girl.


i wish i could see teapot-hot in that french maid skin outfit.

Granted - But now everyone around you thinks your insane for wanting to see Tea in a hot french maid outfits made out of a french maid skin. So your institutionalized. (Hey at least I will have a cohort in insanity with me. )

I wish my hair was blue.

[(-$|N-)]

Originally Posted by eyesofatragedy

Granted - But now everyone around you thinks your insane for wanting to see Tea in a hot french maid outfits made out of a french maid skin. So your institutionalized. (Hey at least I will have a cohort in insanity with me. )

I wish my hair was blue.

Granted - You dye your hair blue and everyone loves it, however when you wake up for next morning it is a whole lot of random colors that look terrable togeather.

I wish I did not have to move freight at my job.

[edible_eye]

granted. and now that you're standing there, doing nothing - your co-workers get pissed and start using you as a pallett, effectively crushing you beneath all the freight. maybe you'll be found in a few weeks.


i wish i didn't have to go to the gym tonight.

[BrokenBluRose]

granted...

you are now immortal, and since you cant die, a zillion years later you watch the Earth detiorarate beneath your feet, and as you fall in space, you blow up into a million peices, only to forge back together which causes you muscles and flesh to tear without end, eternal torture..

I wish...i wasnt always 2nd best.

[BrokenBluRose]

damn wrong page.

[Icarus]

You aren't second best, you now are in the last possible place, which has sixty digits in it. Have fun.

I wish I had a shotgun.

[edible_eye]

granted. and while trying to load it, you discharge the weapon point-blank into your face, subsequently exploding the back of your head.


i wish my next vacation finds me on a caribbean island, surrounded by a bevy of luscious women who want only to fulfill my every wish... - sigh - .

[mortalitas incomitatus]

granted....but the island you chose to visit has no doctors on it so all the luscious women have genital herpies. you unkowingly contract the herpies and fly home where spread the herpies around to all your female neighbours and then all their husbands come to beat you to a bloody pulp. you spend the rest of your days confined to a hospital bed where the sexy female nurses laugh at you and the ugly male nurses have their way with you.


i wish i could find someone who is as wild as i am......

[edible_eye]

granted. unfortunately, it's me, after i've been infected with all those herpies and you wind up next to me in the same hospital, being taken advantage of by old men with no teeth while the ugly male nurses molest me.


i wish i could be drunk right now.