Rant Thread

[Tall One In Black]

Originally Posted by xXambivalenceXx

Well, then go blind and have constant headaches if you're more concerned with appearance than health.

Indeed! The added bonus is that you will no longer be able to see how ugly your glasses are. Assuming the liver damage doesn't get you first.

I have NEVER understood why people who need glasses and have glasses don't wear their glasses. In my opinion, that is stupid. They say things like, Can you tell me what that sign says? I don't have my glasses on. And I think, Um... NO. If you want to read the sign, put on your damn glasses. I'm not your freaking seeing-eye dog. You've been handed the key to good vision, and you shun it because of vanity? Get over yourself.

[FenrisQueen]

Originally Posted by FenrisQueen

Onto my...not really a rant, but here goes.
My friends Dave and Jack are the coolest, most open people I know. Their parents are the best. I found out that Tish, their mom had a heart attack the night before yesterday. Fuck. Fuckity fucking FUCK. This lady, is the kindest, sweetest lady ever. I remember the first time I met her at their house, and she just hugged me and told me she remembered me, because she had gone to pick up Jack and Dave, in a black velvet dress, hi-lace boots, and lots of jewelry, and I was the only kid that smiled at her. (I thought she looked awesome.) She always makes me feel welcome, and she's just got this vibe of energy, ya know?
And now she's in a coma.
I don't cry a lot. I haven't really felt strongly enough about anything since Adam died. But tonight I can't stop, because we went to the hospital and she just looked so fragile and pale.

So friday night me and my friend AJ got to the hospital as quick as we could, because Jack called and the situation wasn't good. Tish's brain had swollen and they pronounced her brain-dead. We run to the ICU hallway, where twenty of our friends are waiting for news. And we find out that nothing short of a miracle would save Tish. So we start praying. Then we go in to see her, and it sinks in that this amazing, beautiful woman is never going to wake up.
Tish is our group's mother. She refered to us as her adopted children. We love her like we love each other, and we are a tight knit group.
And they decided to take her off life support. And when they did she died this morning. I remember the look on everyone's faces when we received the call at Marcus's house.
The funeral is Monday. I don't know if I can honestly handle this, so I already threw out my stash of alcohol (which was a sizeable collection) because right now I feel like drinking. And I know if I start I won't be able to stop. I've already raided my emergency cigarette stash and smoked them all.
I just can't deal with anything else right now.

[ohthefuckwell]

fenris.... i am so sorry. i really don't know what else to say other than that. please take care.

*hugs*

[AlKilyu]

I am sorry Fenris.

And you are right is absolutely isn't fair. To see someone laying there, appearing to be just sleeping, they should be able to just wake up and all with be right with the world. They are breathing, they aren't awake and yet it's too soon to officially say otherwise, it is that hellish limbo you and I have to go through, luckily they are peacefully asleep. And when they awaken, they will be someplace far better than we can ever give them, and they will be that happy always.

But for those of us still here, it's not that easy.


I know Fenris, and I am sorry.

[mortalitas incomitatus]

fenris, i am so sorry. but you will get through this. keep your friends close by you need them right now.
we're all thinking of you.
B.B
xXx

[Needled]

Originally Posted by xXambivalenceXx

Well, then go blind and have constant headaches if you're more concerned with appearance than health.

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

Indeed! The added bonus is that you will no longer be able to see how ugly your glasses are. Assuming the liver damage doesn't get you first.

I have NEVER understood why people who need glasses and have glasses don't wear their glasses. In my opinion, that is stupid. They say things like, Can you tell me what that sign says? I don't have my glasses on. And I think, Um... NO. If you want to read the sign, put on your damn glasses. I'm not your freaking seeing-eye dog. You've been handed the key to good vision, and you shun it because of vanity? Get over yourself.

Thank you for your kind advice.

I would be lying to say that I do not agree with you, and that you are wrong.

BUT

Did I not include these points in my post? Here's a reminder.

--- I wish I had a good reason not to wear my glasses, but unfortunately I do not.
--- I know how vain that is...

You did not need to tell me things I already know.

[Soul_Immortal]

I'll just sprinkle on the goodvibe fairy dust and hope all is well and goes well with everyone.

((Psst. Its flavored.))

[WolfMoon]

I'm sorry to hear that, Fenris. It's always hard to go through that particular situation. I'm not going to mimic what Al said, but he's got the right of it. Take care, babe. You're in my thoughts.


Tom, boxers from Wal-mart always suck! They never do close right. That's normally a good thing for me, less clothing I have to rip through!

[joyslayer]

Fenris, I offer my condolences. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I know from experience that the best thing to help with this loss in someone to lean on.

[edible_eye]

mourn however you need, fenris. and know that as long as we're here, you don't have to be alone.

http://nin.karelia.ru/smal/alone.jpg

[Soul_Immortal]

I hope you and all involved are well, Fenris. Forgive the coldness of my post, I didn't read through the thread entirely before I posted; I offer a piece of my heart selflessly to you and loved ones in your time of need. Take care, honey.

[FenrisQueen]

Thank you all for your support. I appreciate all your comments and thoughts. I made a small error based on false information, and the visitation will be tomorrow evening. I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to the visitation. The funeral service will be tuesday.

[Empty_Purple_Stars]

Originally Posted by FenrisQueen

Thank you all for your support. I appreciate all your comments and thoughts. I made a small error based on false information, and the visitation will be tomorrow evening. I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going. The funeral service will be tuesday.

I am so sorry for the deep loss you and your loved ones are feeling right now.

Do whatever feels right to you Sweetie..

There is no right way to Grieve.

Personally after the last visitation I attended, I decided that it was much better for me to remember my loved one as they were in Life, and not as they appear to be after they have moved on and been laid to rest by a Funeral Home.

Now if I attend a Memorial, I pay my respects without the 'viewing' part of it.

Funerals are painful enough for me without the shock of seeing someone you Love, in that final state.

However, you know what is right for you..

We're all here for you and we all Love You to pieces..

Big Tight Hugs..

Don't be afraid to reach out to any of us, should you need somewhere to fall apart or vent.

Hang in there Precious..

[joyslayer]

My beloved best friend and boyfriend, Josh, commited suicide, 8 months ago. People say, its been a long time, you need to get over him. He's gone now. Ignoring the pain of losing someone you would have died for hurts like no bodies flipping business. Day after day, I try to forget. That doesn't help either. I could have stopped him, I could have done something, anything, to have kept him from drowning himself. But nooo, he didn't call me first. He always called me or told me when he felt suicidal. But this time, he didn't. I can't help but wonder, if I hugged him, kissed him, did anything different that he would still be alive next to me today. It hurts. It kills you so slowly that I would rather die than endure this. Every morning I wake up, and wonder why I get out of bed, What makes me still live? I have much to live for, my two lovely guys,(whom know about eachother, we've created our own little threesome of love ) my friends whom I love dearly, and my own thoughts. My own being. I can't just stop living, no matter how many times I try to end it all, someone stops me. You would think they would get the hint after days and weeks of not being able to leave me alone, but no. I am still here, the miserable lump on the computer chair holding back emotions that are ready to attack the next person and cry on their shoulder til they die. I haven't cried yet, I should, but Josh hated it when I cried. I just need him. Him alone. But hes dead, gone, not coming back, ever. I need to accept that, but I can't. I don't know why, reason and logic seemed to have died, but I can't accept that fact. Maybe it's just my stubborn assy side taking hold of me, but it seems so impossible. Or maybe it's just my way of mourning him. Mourning so he is not forgotten. I won't allow that, but I still try to forget him. How do you move on from someone you have known and loved forever it seems. I can't remember one happy moment, (from the past) that didn't involve him. Him, this tall handsome guy with emerald green eyes that could never be forgotten. I can still hear his laugh echoing and reverberating through my head, and these empty halls. I can still see his smile. A smile that could have lighten up the darkest of rooms. Yet when there are tens of people waiting for me to lean on their shoulders, I can not. Because none of them are him.

[Tall One In Black]

Originally Posted by Needled

Thank you for your kind advice.

I would be lying to say that I do not agree with you, and that you are wrong.

BUT

Did I not include these points in my post? Here's a reminder.

--- I wish I had a good reason not to wear my glasses, but unfortunately I do not.
--- I know how vain that is...

You did not need to tell me things I already know.

It wasn't advice. There is not a single "you should" in my post. The first part of my post was sarcasm. The second part was a general comment about my opinion of people who don't wear their glasses.

If you don't want people to comment on your bad choices, you shouldn't post about them. Anything you post is likely to draw comment; that's the whole point of a discussion board.

I was once a kid stuck with cheap plastic frame glasses. They didn't exactly help my abysmal self-esteem. But I wore them anyway - squinting and fighting headaches every day was a far worse option.

[WolfMoon]

Joy ~ Write him a letter. You can't possibly mail it to him, but getting it all out can help.

[Needled]

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

It wasn't advice. There is not a single "you should" in my post. The first part of my post was sarcasm. The second part was a general comment about my opinion of people who don't wear their glasses.

If you don't want people to comment on your bad choices, you shouldn't post about them. Anything you post is likely to draw comment; that's the whole point of a discussion board.

I was once a kid stuck with cheap plastic frame glasses. They didn't exactly help my abysmal self-esteem. But I wore them anyway - squinting and fighting headaches every day was a far worse option.

"Get over yourself" sounded like advice to me. Maybe I misinterpreted it.

The only thing I was saying is that what I posted mentioned the same things you mentioned-purposely. I knew some people would shit on me about how vain and stupid it was that I wouldn't wear them, so I said it myself before anyone else did. My intention was to save others from commenting on what I already knew, instead you pretty much repeated the same information.

But I have come to the conclusion that it would be ideal to start wearing glasses. When I got them 3 years ago I had 20/30. Last year I got a physical and had 20/70. I know it's probably worse now. I tried on my old ones today and they don't do much for me since I did get them when my vision wasn't half as bad as it is now, so I will need to get new ones. It will be awhile before I get them probably. I'm hoping maybe they have updated their selection and included more options. If not, I'll still wear them though just because now, even when I squint it's still blurry. That sort of tells me something.

[urian]

joy,

truth be told, you'll prolly go the rest of your life wondering "what if". It's natural so don't let anyone else get on your case about it. Everyone heals in there own time. I can tell that your hurt is very deep and genuine & I'm sorry you have to carry it. It's been 11 years since my youngest brother died in a car accident and I still have thoughts cross my mind like" what if I'd have taken them to school that day?".
It's natural and it happens. Just dont let the grief consume you. It doesnt sound like it has and thats a great thing. Wolf's right about the letter. It's helped a lot of people I know cope and progress in healing.
I could sit here and write a self help book on this screen but I wont. Just know that , if you want to vent or talk, there are plenty of people here that will listen & understand.

[Tall One In Black]

Originally Posted by Needled

"Get over yourself" sounded like advice to me. Maybe I misinterpreted it.

It was part of the general comment I was making. Nothing was directed at you specifically.

Originally Posted by Needled

But I have come to the conclusion that it would be ideal to start wearing glasses. When I got them 3 years ago I had 20/30. Last year I got a physical and had 20/70. I know it's probably worse now. I tried on my old ones today and they don't do much for me since I did get them when my vision wasn't half as bad as it is now, so I will need to get new ones. It will be awhile before I get them probably. I'm hoping maybe they have updated their selection and included more options. If not, I'll still wear them though just because now, even when I squint it's still blurry. That sort of tells me something.

Wearing glasses will never be fun, but you might as well start doing it now. No point in having daily headaches for the rest of the forseeable future. Plus it hampers your everyday life. You certainly won't be able to drive without your glasses.

Having bad vision sucks. Having it get worse each year is scary. Unfortunately, it probably won't level off until your late 20's. It bites, but that's the way it usually works.

People who have 20/20 vision do not appreciate how fortunate they are.

[joyslayer]

Heh, thanks guys. I have tried the letter aproach, it just made me feel more suicidal, and that is also something I am trying to overcome. It just makes you feel empty, when someone who was always there is just gone one day. And the emptiness is bitter and is biting, like starvation.

[Needled]

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

It was part of the general comment I was making. Nothing was directed at you specifically.


Wearing glasses will never be fun, but you might as well start doing it now. No point in having daily headaches for the rest of the forseeable future. Plus it hampers your everyday life. You certainly won't be able to drive without your glasses.

Having bad vision sucks. Having it get worse each year is scary. Unfortunately, it probably won't level off until your late 20's. It bites, but that's the way it usually works.

People who have 20/20 vision do not appreciate how fortunate they are.

I'm worried about the driving. I take drivers ed in April and I probably wont pass.. I know they give a vision test (or whatever it is called), and I surely wont pass it if I haven't got my new glasses by then. We were just cut off of medicaid because the social worker found out that my dad works and that he gets paid under the table. So that was great timing. My mom has glasses that I could use but they're different because I can see close up and not far away, she's the opposite. My friend was talking about letting me borrow hers while I take drivers ed.

I just really regret having not worn the glasses when I first got them. If I had just wore them then eventually I wouldn't have needed them anymore.. If only I knew then what I know now.

[joyslayer]

Like menioned up there, there is no time for "what if's"

No time for what ifs?

Eh, there’s plenty of time for what if’s. There’s a continual loop of time devoted to only what if’s.

Liquor, yeah, that dulls the pain some. Work, nonstop grueling sweat ball clit breaking work, makes the memory distant. Any mindless activity that you can’t associate with the individual, I’d imagine that would be nice too.

Meh, I’d like to offer more advice, Joy, but I’m still in the Liquor stage of healing over here. I’d offer to empathize together with you, but wounds such as ours, so recent, don’t tend to mesh well. There’s the whole, what about me, thing to contend with.

Le’meh.

*Tip’s glass to Fenris* A double hug for you dear heart, and you know...I’ve always thought fondly of you, and I feel your thoughts and words, their weight and lament, and I have no true wisdom or solace to offer...so I’ll drink with you instead.

Where’s AlkilU? We need more AlkilU on this subject. He’s been there, he knows.

*Petitions for more AlkilU on subject*

[joyslayer]

I've been through the liquor stage, I ended up waking up in some random guy's house, that was creepy. Never again. Plus I had a hang over to boot a hippo right outta the park.

Hmmm, waking up in a random guys house...that would be enough to do it for me :} forget about the hippo