Stupid, unhelpful librarian
Posted 04-22-2009 at 06:40 AM by Raynie_Lester
April 14, 2009
I did end up talking to my guidance councilor, but I had false hope. She couldn’t help me in the slightest bit. So, she sent me to the librarian who is the queen of false hope. She gave me one of those self-help type books about publishing. She didn’t know anything about publishing either. She is surrounded by books on a daily basis, but she doesn’t know how they got there? Stupid, unhelpful librarian.
There is a new kid at my school. I heard his name is Bobby or something like that. He goes on my bus, the day I dress like a total scrub, he had to come on my bus. He is totally hot!! He hangs out with the pot heads and had gauged ears. So, basically he is too cool to even look in my direction. How cliché! I heard he is a sophomore from our town rivals. But enough about that.
I was looking out the window today in a complete trance-like-day-dream. The trees and flowers are starting to bloom. The ugly bush in the front of my house is budding bright purple flowers. I love this time of year, so many new beginnings and any sign of the bitter withering cold start to disappear. I find myself staring outside with a goofy grin on my face. Such beauty needs to be adored.
I almost forgot how much I hated being alone. Everyone says, ‘don’t act desperate, boys don’t think that’s attractive,’ which is probably true so I try to hide my pain. But in doing that, I’ve managed to become a mutant social outcast freak. I’ve come to terms with that and I am totally not okay with it. No on really sees me for who I am. If they did, I would probably look even more like a freak, so maybe it’s for the best.
I just want to be normal and everyone to like me and the whole clichéd plot line in every teenage predicament.
No one see what I see when I look into the mirror! They see the mask, but I can’t make the mask go away. I don’t know how. No one will tell me.
I make a wish. Every star, every 11:11, every birthday. My wish is to be flawlessly beautiful. I’ve been wishing this for almost three years and has yet to come true.
My dad lost his job and the house has taken a great hit. We are selling things for an extra hundred bucks. I don’t think we will make it through the winter without serious changes. We may have to move or just some really intense cut backs. I don’t know how that works. I want to get a job and work for my family but no one is really hiring. This is also why I want to get published. I think if I had some money coming in, I wouldn’t veg off mom and dad so much. I don’t know what else to do.
I hate the thought of the future. Especially the question, “Where will you be in ten years?” How should I know? I don’t eve know what I’m wearing to school tomorrow. I don’t think I can do it, the future. I know for a fact that college is just a pipe dream and will never really be happening. I can’t believe I fooled myself, yet again, into thinking I could do it. I even talked to Mrs. Fucktard about it! I can be so stupid sometime. Stupid Rayne!
I am a fat, lazy, slob that is going no where at a glacial pace!
At least I’m willing to admit my flaws. I know for shit sure I’m not perfect. Far from it.
There isn’t anything wrong with that, I guess. I mean, my parents are just like me and they made it through the ‘going out into the world’ phase. Granted, they had each other to lean on. Me, I have no one.
And what is this? The bitter ramblings of a teenage lunatic.
Until next time.
Raynie
I did end up talking to my guidance councilor, but I had false hope. She couldn’t help me in the slightest bit. So, she sent me to the librarian who is the queen of false hope. She gave me one of those self-help type books about publishing. She didn’t know anything about publishing either. She is surrounded by books on a daily basis, but she doesn’t know how they got there? Stupid, unhelpful librarian.
There is a new kid at my school. I heard his name is Bobby or something like that. He goes on my bus, the day I dress like a total scrub, he had to come on my bus. He is totally hot!! He hangs out with the pot heads and had gauged ears. So, basically he is too cool to even look in my direction. How cliché! I heard he is a sophomore from our town rivals. But enough about that.
I was looking out the window today in a complete trance-like-day-dream. The trees and flowers are starting to bloom. The ugly bush in the front of my house is budding bright purple flowers. I love this time of year, so many new beginnings and any sign of the bitter withering cold start to disappear. I find myself staring outside with a goofy grin on my face. Such beauty needs to be adored.
I almost forgot how much I hated being alone. Everyone says, ‘don’t act desperate, boys don’t think that’s attractive,’ which is probably true so I try to hide my pain. But in doing that, I’ve managed to become a mutant social outcast freak. I’ve come to terms with that and I am totally not okay with it. No on really sees me for who I am. If they did, I would probably look even more like a freak, so maybe it’s for the best.
I just want to be normal and everyone to like me and the whole clichéd plot line in every teenage predicament.
No one see what I see when I look into the mirror! They see the mask, but I can’t make the mask go away. I don’t know how. No one will tell me.
I make a wish. Every star, every 11:11, every birthday. My wish is to be flawlessly beautiful. I’ve been wishing this for almost three years and has yet to come true.
My dad lost his job and the house has taken a great hit. We are selling things for an extra hundred bucks. I don’t think we will make it through the winter without serious changes. We may have to move or just some really intense cut backs. I don’t know how that works. I want to get a job and work for my family but no one is really hiring. This is also why I want to get published. I think if I had some money coming in, I wouldn’t veg off mom and dad so much. I don’t know what else to do.
I hate the thought of the future. Especially the question, “Where will you be in ten years?” How should I know? I don’t eve know what I’m wearing to school tomorrow. I don’t think I can do it, the future. I know for a fact that college is just a pipe dream and will never really be happening. I can’t believe I fooled myself, yet again, into thinking I could do it. I even talked to Mrs. Fucktard about it! I can be so stupid sometime. Stupid Rayne!
I am a fat, lazy, slob that is going no where at a glacial pace!
At least I’m willing to admit my flaws. I know for shit sure I’m not perfect. Far from it.
There isn’t anything wrong with that, I guess. I mean, my parents are just like me and they made it through the ‘going out into the world’ phase. Granted, they had each other to lean on. Me, I have no one.
And what is this? The bitter ramblings of a teenage lunatic.
Until next time.
Raynie
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