Sucking life's dick
Posted 01-25-2011 at 04:49 PM by doomclam
Updated 01-25-2011 at 04:53 PM by doomclam (Grammatical error)
Updated 01-25-2011 at 04:53 PM by doomclam (Grammatical error)
Tags
fuck
,
other expletives
,
shit
,
unemployed loser
,
waste of space
Pardon the crude metaphor, but it came to mind when trying to express the sensation of not being in control of or dominating one's life, rather it bending you over and taking you at its leisure and leaving you to clean up when it's all over and wonder when it'll be your turn. If life were to be a sentient being, capable of thought and emotion in and of itself, it would be snickering right now, watching as it lobs stupidballs at me and I swing wildly attempting to connect with any of them.
So many people have no idea how lucky they are and need to shut the fuck up. So many go to work, overlooking the fact that they have a work to go to, and come home, bitching about the stresses they face as they earn money for living. They overlook the fact that when they drive away from their office or their construction site or their men's room, that they are capable of leaving it behind. It doesn't have to follow them home, which it does, and cause problems, which it does. If their lives are such trials, perhaps they could try going without a job for months and having an average monetary surplus of $1.83 in their bank account, which is currently what mine/ours is showing.
Tonight there's a show where my vocalist will be playing guitar in a guest spot with another band. Because he's taking a break from music. The other day, he and our keyboardist were discussing at length a video they're planning on shooting for the keyboardist's solo project, which the vocalist plays drums for. Because he's taking a break from music. Doesn't sound like it, you say? Quite fucking right. Maybe he's just taking a break from his band, which happens to be mine as well. So here I sit, broke and rotting, wondering if we're ever going to practice again.
I just went through the coming show lists provided by most of the venues in Seattle, and in looking I found two bands I had ever heard of, and two less than that I would actually want to go see. I did, however, find a great deal more that my wife and our circle will undoubtedly want to go to, obligating me to stand through another concert by some other generic fucking band that sounds exactly like everyone else I've ever heard. I don't have to though, I can stay at home and do nothing while everyone else is out socializing.
Would it be so much to ask for someone -I- want to see actually coming to Seattle at a time that isn't just complete fail and aids?
Every day I get up and it's all the same. Job offers from door to door marketing companies and Nigerian missionaries offering me 10% of their multi-million dollar fortunes. The company I keep most is the company I seek out least. Most of the time I see these blathering idiots, I have to paste a smile on my face. God forbid I tell them they spoke their quota for the day in the first five minutes of coming in my door. One fellow is capable of carrying on conversations with himself, dragging a ten second anecdote into a five minute novelization as he chuckles at himself and his cleverness before asking me for another cigarette.
Whenever I look at our account and see no money, it feels like my fault. She has no account and therefore I handle all the money. Which means when she asks if we can afford something and I inevitably have to say no, I feel like a lazy drooling slob, sitting at home on the computer all day, getting fatter and fatter as she goes to work and makes all the money we have, while nightmares plague me. She died in my arms this morning as I begged her, sobbing, to stay alive. That's how I start an average day. I'm not sure if I would prefer to see her cheating on me or dying, because both are the norm more often than not. On some mornings, one has followed the other when the first jolts me awake and I fall back asleep to begin on the second.
There's no point in being awake in the morning, except for a job interview. When none are coming, it is cheaper and faster to sleep. I don't consume any spendy resources and the time goes by. I have to make a choice though: would I rather bitch about lack of sleep or bad dreams?
So many people have no idea how lucky they are and need to shut the fuck up. So many go to work, overlooking the fact that they have a work to go to, and come home, bitching about the stresses they face as they earn money for living. They overlook the fact that when they drive away from their office or their construction site or their men's room, that they are capable of leaving it behind. It doesn't have to follow them home, which it does, and cause problems, which it does. If their lives are such trials, perhaps they could try going without a job for months and having an average monetary surplus of $1.83 in their bank account, which is currently what mine/ours is showing.
Tonight there's a show where my vocalist will be playing guitar in a guest spot with another band. Because he's taking a break from music. The other day, he and our keyboardist were discussing at length a video they're planning on shooting for the keyboardist's solo project, which the vocalist plays drums for. Because he's taking a break from music. Doesn't sound like it, you say? Quite fucking right. Maybe he's just taking a break from his band, which happens to be mine as well. So here I sit, broke and rotting, wondering if we're ever going to practice again.
I just went through the coming show lists provided by most of the venues in Seattle, and in looking I found two bands I had ever heard of, and two less than that I would actually want to go see. I did, however, find a great deal more that my wife and our circle will undoubtedly want to go to, obligating me to stand through another concert by some other generic fucking band that sounds exactly like everyone else I've ever heard. I don't have to though, I can stay at home and do nothing while everyone else is out socializing.
Would it be so much to ask for someone -I- want to see actually coming to Seattle at a time that isn't just complete fail and aids?
Every day I get up and it's all the same. Job offers from door to door marketing companies and Nigerian missionaries offering me 10% of their multi-million dollar fortunes. The company I keep most is the company I seek out least. Most of the time I see these blathering idiots, I have to paste a smile on my face. God forbid I tell them they spoke their quota for the day in the first five minutes of coming in my door. One fellow is capable of carrying on conversations with himself, dragging a ten second anecdote into a five minute novelization as he chuckles at himself and his cleverness before asking me for another cigarette.
Whenever I look at our account and see no money, it feels like my fault. She has no account and therefore I handle all the money. Which means when she asks if we can afford something and I inevitably have to say no, I feel like a lazy drooling slob, sitting at home on the computer all day, getting fatter and fatter as she goes to work and makes all the money we have, while nightmares plague me. She died in my arms this morning as I begged her, sobbing, to stay alive. That's how I start an average day. I'm not sure if I would prefer to see her cheating on me or dying, because both are the norm more often than not. On some mornings, one has followed the other when the first jolts me awake and I fall back asleep to begin on the second.
There's no point in being awake in the morning, except for a job interview. When none are coming, it is cheaper and faster to sleep. I don't consume any spendy resources and the time goes by. I have to make a choice though: would I rather bitch about lack of sleep or bad dreams?
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