Relationship Troubles

ZyklonB · 03-29-2009, 11:52 AM

Now, I know I'm probably going to get flamed to hell and back etc etc knowing you guys, heh. But here goes my wall of text story:

Now, I first met my girlfriend(or ex-girlfriend now I guess you can say) online. We're both gamers, and just being on vent and spending time like that brought on feelings. She lives in Ohio and I live in California. We first met physically over the summer, she went to go visit her friends in Oceanside and would take the train to come visit me. We lost our virginity together etc etc, good times were had.

Time goes by, and it's almost Christmas time. Well, we both decided to tell our parents about each other, and things went over quite well. She actually was able to come for her Uni winter break and stayed with my family for 2 weeks. My parents loved her, my family loved her, everything went over so well. She stayed in my room and I stayed in my little brothers room. It seems our relationship couldn't be any stronger.

Now it's late March. I noticed she wasn't talking to me, so last Wednesday i decided to confront her about it. She said she just didn't feel the love she had for me anymore. And so we decided on a week long break. The week isn't even over, and she already told me we are not getting back together. She loves Sy, this guy she's been gaming with more recently. And apparently hes in the UK. I got a chance to talk with this guy, and he only thinks of her as a sister. He doesn't love her the way she loves him. He has someone else in his life that he loves. But she's leaving me for him.

Now here comes the confusing part. I'm going to her University next year. Fall of 09. She isn't telling her parents about the break up yet, and I'm not telling mine. I guess she still cares about me in someway, and so I'm going to stay with her/her family over the summer to get to know the city and what not. She's not telling them we broke up so they won't change their minds and not let me stay. so I'll be staying at my ex's house, with her parents, while they and my parent's still think we are in a relationship but we arn't. Akward?

Can love really just dissapear like that? Do you believe it can come back later? I probably missed some key details as I'm still sort of in shock from it all. I haven't eaten a full meal since Wednesday. Just little bits and pieces and lots of spearmint/lemon blossom tea for my nerves. If i eat too much I just throw it all up. Ah well...

HumanePain · 03-29-2009, 12:00 PM

Hey Zy, glad to see you posting again, but sorry it is under the current circumstances.

You will need to be strong dude: it won't ever be like it was before. Sudden, dynamic changes are typical for relationships in your age group.

You may remain friends with her, but take my advice and forget the romance ever coming back. Move on, and you will find how quickly you will forget your feelings for her in the arms of another. Meet new girls man, it is the best medicine, believe me.

ZyklonB · 03-29-2009, 12:10 PM

Yeah. But the thing is I don't feel like I can meet anyone really right now. I mean, I'm moving halfway across the country in a few months. I'm just going to have to try to meet girls then or something. I don't feel like I can right now. Just got to give it some time I guess.

gothicusmaximus · 03-29-2009, 01:33 PM

She fell in 'love' with a guy named 'Sy' who she's only met in a video game. You can probably do better, especially if you're going to college next year.
Were I in your position, I'd simply accept that the relationship has ended. Don't talk to her, as from the sound of things she's not liable to be moved by whatever stirring professions of love may be swimming around in your head, and whatever attraction she feels for you will probably only atrophy further if you humiliate yourself. Don't you dare go waste your entire summer at her house in a city you don't know, you'll be voluntarily subjecting yourself to a thousand subsequent awkward encounters with your former lover and her entire family. Take the months preceding your move to enjoy being single, and don't worry about the fact that you'll soon be at the same school as this bitch-- if it's of even moderate size, the odds are you'll never really see her.
Find a more attractive girl who occupies the same physical space as you do, while she's still pining over some dude on the other side of the Atlantic.

JCC · 03-29-2009, 01:41 PM

Gothicusmaximus is correct, unsurprisingly, and I agree with him, which is also unsurprising because my opinions generally conform to the standard of being correct. The mere idea of being involved with somebody that has fallen in love with someone through the medium of online gaming is unsettling enough; be prepared for the possibility that you are dating a mentally unstable vicious axe murderer. Furthermore, that she would leave her stable, corporeal boyfriend for unstable British internet boyfriend shows a distinct lack of judgment; be prepared for the possibility that you are dating a complete buffoon or lunatic. College appears to be a chance for you to escape the malice of this mentally unstable axe murdering lunatic buffoon before she captures you in her web of wrongdoing; be prepared for a dramatic and possibly tragic showdown of good versus evil involving lasers.

gothicusmaximus · 03-29-2009, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

unstable British internet boyfriend

You give this woman too much credit. Your countryman doesn't even like her, he's dating someone else.

JCC · 03-29-2009, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

You give this woman too much credit. Your countryman doesn't even like her, he's dating someone else.

This is not actually true, he has 'someone else in his life that he loves', which is widely accepted as a euphemism for being rejected by someone on the grounds of being fat and ugly, so they're not an item, this person is just a part of his life and he 'loves' them. My friends play Xbox Live, I speak bits of their language.

Mir · 03-29-2009, 02:21 PM

I don't get how an Xbox can replace a real instrument, or just about anything else. Every time I go over to a friend's place, he/they just want to play Xbox, and act surprised when I don't exhibit any interest. It's quite sad actually.

ZyklonB · 03-29-2009, 03:05 PM

Heh, wow. You really brought it do a different Light Maximus. Yeah, quite frankly I'm not sure if I'll be going over the summer. I might just spend time here in LA until I have to move for school in the fall. I probably should go out and enjoy everything a bit, worrying about everything isn't going to help. And yeah JCC, that Sy dude thinks the girl he loves hates him or something like that and she asked before I did if he loved my girlfriend. Strange isn't it? And they arn't x-boxers Mir, thyre PC gamers =p

It made me laugh though, thanks guys.

Mr E Nigma · 03-29-2009, 04:36 PM

Zyklon, to build on what Maximus and JCC have already rightfully stated. The whole bit with enjoying the single life etc... Since you're moving, you might as well hit some bars and/or clubs if you're of the age or just generally go out in social atmospheres when you can and flirt it up man. See what works for you and what doesn't, it won't matter you'll be moved soon and anything you did that went badly will be left back there with no worries about it 'cause you'll not see them again anyways... and then you can take what you've learned from experimenting with flirtation or whatever it is you do and apply that within your new found college atmosphere, that way when said, "bitch" sees you laughin' it up with women at your side you can feel some sort of satisfaction and maybe she'll realize locale actually plays quite a significant role on a relationship between two people.

You'll be the one who ends up more well off. You can find someone at the new University and boom, you're doing alright and as Maximus said, she's still pining over some arse who's leading her on and she thinks he's crazy in love.

ZyklonB · 03-29-2009, 10:51 PM

UPDATE =D

I don't think I'm going to be going over there for college anymore. I'm going here to cal-state LA. It's not the best, but at least I won't be in the hole 40,000 every year and won't have to worry about my siblings also not having money for college later if I suck up all the damn money. So, I think I'm going to stay in LA. I've been doing lots of thinking. And it seems the best choice for me. Now i gotta contact UC and tell them I'm not going there anymore. Grr.

Annwyn · 03-31-2009, 10:55 AM

Love can just dissapear like that. Believe me. It's happened to me.
The guy I lost my virginity to, me and him dated for nearly 9 months.
And then POOF! There just wasn't anything there between us anymore. Try as I might to get the feelings for him back, I couldn't. And he was having the same troubles. We decided to end it. He went off with another girl and so did I. It happens, and there's nothing that you can do to stop it. You just take it in your stride and move on and just accept that maybe she wasn't The One.
Take what you learned from the relationship you had with this girl and use it in the next one that you have.

Joker_in_the_Pack · 04-05-2009, 08:20 AM

Sup Zyklon. I haven't seen you on in ages.

CSULA isn't that bad. It's interesting anyway. Every culture in the world seems to show up there.

Lady Christine · 04-05-2009, 09:59 AM

College will be full of better women, if she's going and she decides she wants to get back together with you, say no. You can do better then that, not to mention she will likely be jealous seeing you with someone better then her. Don't give into her, if she broke it off and seeing some other guy then it can't be helped. She's not worth it, there are other bass in the river and someone better is on their way.

Schazmyrrh · 04-07-2009, 03:44 AM

I think this is what makes love pretty and sordid at the same time. We can't expect to own people, no matter how 'binding' we want the relationship to be. I've been teaching myself to enjoy everything while it lasts and I think you should, too.

ZyklonB · 04-09-2009, 06:05 PM

Hey Joker. And Yeah, I suppose not, a few of my friends go there so it should be a good experience either way. I usually go and hang out at the campus every once in awhile anyways, now I'll actually be a student there.

I basically took the advice of all you guys and have met a few new people. It's great. There's this cute Vietnamese girl I've been seeing recently, and that can't be bad can it? ;o

But now. My ex said if I can't go visit her during the summer, she wants to come visit me. I suppose she still wants to stay good friends since she tries to talk to me more now after the whole thing blew over. And that's always a good thing. Maybe.