All alone in a big, bright world

[DepthsofSpace]

Well, great. I'm witting a whining thread...

So, I've just gotten to my new college, settling is for the first week. Nice being on my own as I can wear what I want, when, without flak for parental units.

Bad news is on the local scene. The only alternative night nearby is at a 21+ only gay bar, and the other real Goth night has been pretty much shut down until further notice.

The town and campus I'm on, I have been informed I am the only 'Goth' around. I don't really have any problems with people here, but it is also been hard meeting people. Most of the people here are athletes or very 'preppy', and for the most part, and besides a 'hello', don't really keep a convo going with me. The only group of quasi-'alternative' types is a rather closed, tight-nit group that is mostly theater majors. Except that I'm considering fencing, which one of the leads of that posse is heading up, they were almost snobbish to the fact I was international business major. Wow, I thought shit like that was over in high school. I'm actually an outgoing person (and not totally socially dysfunctional), just seems like everyone has their clique, boyfriend/girlfriend and I'm invisible. Understand, this is a totally new experience for me.

And on that note, I guess I should rant/beat up on myself. I really don't have any 'friends'. I know people, there's even some people I can 'hang-out' with, or get invited to come over, but no one I can go to when I feel down, or just need to talk. Maybe my persona scares people off (not in a 'I'm uber gothy manson-ish type, fear me!', but just I can be callous and cold at times), maybe a couple years of beating myself up mentally for somethings, has left me too cold for people to want to relate too. I use to work so much, except for political and science groups, I didn't go 'hang-out' at the mall, or go to movies, and the groups I was in, I was there as a 'professional', I'd cut-up with people, small talk, but I was too afraid to let on too much about my personal side.

Anyways, I'm not too tore up about it, I've got classes and reading, lot's of acreage of hiking trails, and I actually have gotten around to picking up a collection of poems by Lord Byron (honestly, I've heard a lot about him, but I hadn't read any of his works. I'm actually enjoying it, though I wonder is he meant his works to be as funny as I find them?) and that keeps me occupied. I've taken to hanging out in the campus coffee house and one of the older non-student baristas likes to chat with me. Tonight she should be looking at several new music artist (she asked for them xD), namely in the darkwave, category.

I guess I'm just sorta writing to get this off my chest. Only been a week, I guess it just takes time to get settled in.

[ApothoKeri]

Yea I remember going off to college, it can be overwhelming. I didn't know anyone either (had no other friends at the same school) but I think you will meet people. I started to hang out with the art and drama students, more because of a guy that asked me out than any of my actual art classes, which were pretty few at Freshman level. But really, once you meet a few people you will quickly meet more.

[L'Oiseau Noir]

I agree with ApothoKeri. Being placed in a new environment can be quite an overwhelming experience for anyone, and the first few weeks are usually the roughest. But in time, someone's going to see you as interesting and approach you, throwing open the gates to social opportunity. You'll meet new people, hang out--but you have to be patient. Just keep yourself open, and talk to whoever happens to pick at your interest. Eventually things will fall neatly into place and unfurl for the better.

[Apathy's_Child]

Don't worry about the lack of goths, we had a guy at college who was pretty much the only one but he was fine with it. People are probably more terrified about making friends than judging you.

[gothicusmaximus]

Lord Byron is serious business.

[tickingstitch]

You will meet interesting people, they are swamping around you, even if they aren't goth :~)

[Solumina]

Just take your roommate and expose them to your world. My best friend on campus (other than Jake) is Emily, my roommate from first semester. She was so sheltered and conservative when I first met her but after being exposed to new things she became really openminded and fun. I guess what I am saying is that if you want to have a few more goths on campus then expose those around you to all of the wonderful things that make you who you are and convert a few people