Men who care more about their dicks than their Girlfriends. - Page 3

$haDe · 09-07-2008, 03:54 AM

Don't says like that

I feel so young...too young!!

Am I five or what ?
Last time,I've checked I think I'm 16.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 03:55 AM

I'm not saying all fifteen and sixteen year olds aren't mature, I just don't expect them to be, particularly when it comes to relationships and sex. She's not done growing up and has a lot to learn about life, relationships and sex so why get mad at her?

JCC · 09-07-2008, 04:02 AM

Because I don't think that being a teenager is justification for anything. The only reason that you do is because you're a patronising dick that likes to think they're actually being compassionate and kind. Fuck all of this 'oh she's so young, she doesn't know what she does' bullshit.

SHE JUST GAVE A GUY A BLOWJOB. If she wasn't grown up beforehand she better grow up fast, her lack of judgment alongside her arrogance and lack of reason is perfectly viable to criticise. You're annoying.

Cicero · 09-07-2008, 04:08 AM

Assuming teenagers aren't going to act entirely reasonably or maturely is not a fucking stereotype, nor is it ageist. It's just part of our biology.

Teenage brains are too busy re-wiring for adulthood to make sense of all the bullshit that comes with 'growing up'. For most of us that leads to chaos, the sort of chaos that makes being 'mature' pretty much impossible. Though I know there must be exceptions, I can't think of a single person I know who hasn't made some pretty stupid mistakes as a teenager.

And a lot of those mistakes involve sex, as this thread demonstrates.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 04:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cicero

Assuming teenagers aren't going to act entirely reasonably or maturely is not a fucking stereotype,

Look at that again.

No seriously, look.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 04:11 AM

I'll admit being patronizing, but I don't think its uncalled for, particularly when it explains why she acts the way she acts. I'm not going to call a teenage girl a bitch because she feels bad about giving her boyfriend a blowjob. Why be so touchy about that?

JCC · 09-07-2008, 04:14 AM

It's not about feeling bad about giving her boyfriend a blowjob. She's been monumentally unreasonable and claimed that her needs are just more important than his. The blowjob is a small part of why she's a brat.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 04:19 AM

If one person in the relationship isn't ready for sex, the other person is just going to have to deal with that or leave. Her need to wait until she's ready is more important than him wanting to have sex, yes. Yes she shouldn't have gotten upset with him for what she did, because she should have been able to say no, but that brings us back to her feeling bad for giving a blowjob.

Cicero · 09-07-2008, 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

Look at that again.

No seriously, look.

Ok you got me there. I probably should have put the words 'negative' and 'groundless' in front of 'stereotype', since that's the sort of thing you seemed to be getting at while comparing what Saya said to downright racism.

Now YOU go look up some scientific literature on the physical differences between teenage brains and regular human brains so you can see some evidence for the assumptions made of people your age.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

If one person in the relationship isn't ready for sex, the other person is just going to have to deal with that or leave. Her need to wait until she's ready is more important than him wanting to have sex, yes. Yes she shouldn't have gotten upset with him for what she did, because she should have been able to say no, but that brings us back to her feeling bad for giving a blowjob.

WHY does it have to be that way around? I don't want it, you do want it, my need is better than yours, adhere to it or leave. That does not sound like give/take to me FROM EITHER PARTY and if that's the basis of their relationship it should end. But the boyfriend has done more here than she has. He's held out for months on end because she didn't want to do it, but he didn't want to wait forever. She gives him ONE blowjob with the intention of pleasing him, which I can't personally see how that could be the boyfriend's fault, and then got angry with him. BLEEDREBELION is in the wrong here, no matter how old she is.

Coran · 09-07-2008, 04:38 AM

No one should be forced to have sex. Some people need a lot of time to be ready to have sex; it's a very individual thing. There's nothing wrong with a person who wants to wait, because he or she isn't ready. Forcing someone who doesn't want to doesn't lead to anything good, for the person or for the relationship. Pressuring someone to have sex before they feel ready, can screw them up mentally.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 04:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

WHY does it have to be that way around? I don't want it, you do want it, my need is better than yours, adhere to it or leave. That does not sound like give/take to me FROM EITHER PARTY and if that's the basis of their relationship it should end. But the boyfriend has done more here than she has. He's held out for months on end because she didn't want to do it, but he didn't want to wait forever. She gives him ONE blowjob with the intention of pleasing him, which I can't personally see how that could be the boyfriend's fault, and then got angry with him. BLEEDREBELION is in the wrong here, no matter how old she is.

How the hell do you know that he gives more in the relationship? All you know about the relationship is that she doesn't want to have sex with him. There are other things a person can do for their lover other than sex, you know. You can have a perfectly loving relationship and not have sex. She can bend over backwards for him when it comes to everything else for all we know. And if he loves her, and they are talking about moving in with each other obviously there's something about her and he is willing to stick around.

Its not the boyfriends fault, I think everyone can agree on that, but like I said, it seems like she's just projecting her own guilt on him. You can be understanding without agreeing.

a morbid curiosity · 09-07-2008, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLEED REBELION!!!

This happened a couple weeks ago but I just decided to post it..

So my BF really likes sex. And he supposedly used to be a nympho. And I don’t like or want to have sex of any kind.
about 2 weeks into our relationship we were fooling around and he asked if we could go all the way. I said no. I've told him various reasons why I don’t want to. So he didn’t ask again for a while but I knew he wanted to. He likes getting oral better than sex and that’s what he really wanted me to do. I find it to be really gross, I told him as much. I also told him I wouldn’t do it ever. He guilt tripped me for giving him blue balls and I found it kinda funny.

So about 5 and a half months into our relationship he starts bugging me again for oral, and I kept saying no. He told me no one had ever made him wait so long. It became an ongoing argument or discussion.
6 months in: I feel kinda bad and worried. I understand that 6 months is a long time to wait for someone who is used to getting it all the time. I told him he could fuck or get oral from some one else as long as he 1 didn’t have any emotional feelings for her and 2 didn’t get her pregnant/catch aids.
I didn’t really want him to be someone else but I didn’t want him to be sexually frustrated. He turned that down, he said he wanted to be with me, because he loved me. I ended up giving in to him, and I gave him a BJ. I didn’t want to, I felt forced into it, and I was angry with him afterwards. He said I was making him feel like a bad person. It kinda made me think he was a bit of a bad person. He put his sexual needs over my emotional needs and I guess I put his sexual needs over my own emotional needs as well. Seeing as I gave in to him. I felt like I didn’t really have a real choice. I didn’t want to disappoint him.

I didn’t have any sexual experience before my BF I had only been kissed by one guy and that was as far as I had gotten. When I started dating my BF it was a very sudden change, I wasn’t used to be touched by men. I feel like I was some how supposed to go from - 30 to 60 in six short months. He wants me to give him more oral. And while he wont dump me if I refuse he acts sad and depressive.
I just feel like shit about this. I feel like we have a great relationship in all areas but this one. He has helped me allot. Its jus t he doesn’t understand what a big deal sex (and oral) is for me. It just makes me feel bad about myself. I felt really dirty afterwards really used. And I know he loves me but I feel bad if I tell him no. I feel like a whore/slut ..

First of all, you're not a whore or a slut and don't let anyone ever make you feel that way.
Second of all, it seems like this relationship is not one you truly want to be in. I think your boyfriend and you should at least discuss the possibility of ending it sooner or later. You both want different things from the relationship and that's never a good sign. Maybe you should try and find someone who is willing to take things more slowly.

$haDe · 09-07-2008, 07:26 AM

-_-

morbid,She love her boyfriend and willing to change him rather than finding new boyfriends.

a morbid curiosity · 09-07-2008, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by $haDe

-_-

morbid,She love her boyfriend and willing to change him rather than finding new boyfriends.

But this relationship makes both her and her boyfriend feel awful. What's the point in that?
I mean, obviously they care about each other very much, but it's not as if he's her "one true love" and she'll never be happy again for the remaining duration of her entire existence if that particular relationship finishes.
Even if they just gave it a break for a while.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by $haDe

willing to change him

Therein lies the problem.

MollyMac · 09-07-2008, 08:42 AM

Yeah. She'll find a better man open to change by trolling the chruch doors after an AA meeting

HumanePain · 09-07-2008, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

Because I don't think that being a teenager is justification for anything.

You guys are arguing as if she is a mature adult already familiar with life and sex.

The rationalization you are using doesn't apply to the first time. The first time is a great unknown, so how can she make decisions based on experience when there is no experience? There must be allowances made for the first time because of the lack of information the individual has with which to make a decision.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 10:20 AM

This is her first time of interacting with a person?

Didn't think so. This isn't about sex, how many times?

Saya · 09-07-2008, 10:26 AM

Everything about this situation is about sex, her not wanting it and him wanting it, and the drama that ensued.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 10:28 AM

NOT when you put it into its true context.

Her boyfriend's needs involve sex.
Her needs involve not having sex.
She places her needs above his needs, which is a problem involving human interaction, IT'S NOT ABOUT SEX.
Therefore, these two are not suited for each other. She is not suited for anyone until she learns a little compromise, because he's lived up his end of the give/take for a while now.

Saya · 09-07-2008, 10:34 AM

Oh for fucks sake, if he needs sex that bad he wouldn't be in the relationship or he would take her up on her offer and go fuck someone else. SHE'S NOT READY. Thats not something ANYBODY can ever compromise on. She tried to, and she feels awful now. And you can't tell someone to break up with someone when all you know about them is that she doesn't want to have sex yet. They can be the perfect couple in every other regard, and like I said earlier, for all we know she bends over backwards for him when it comes to everything else.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 10:36 AM

Is it me, or is every discussion with you the equivalent of hitting a wall with a coathanger? You're making contact, but you're never getting through that motherfucker.

BLEED REBELION!!! · 09-07-2008, 10:37 AM

I am 16. But I dont think that is the main contributor to my feelings and actions etc.
I think my not wanting to have sex trumps his wanting to its just lust. He already got to develope sexually at his own pace. I think I should get the same. No, I dont want to change him. I love him that way he is. He IS fricken awesome, I've never been so infactuated and in love with anyone, hell i've never been in love till now. . I just dont want to let him fuck me..
This is really the only place that I think our age difference becomes a problem, he already got past this stage and I'm still here.
I do have alot of problems with trust and intimacy. He has helped me with them, I do feel am a better person overall because of him. Its just that he thinks that I should get over it faster. I've never really trusted men, but I trust him. I just dont think I'm ready.

I know I chose to do what I did, I dont think or claim that I am without fault. He isnt innocent either, I kept telling how I felt and he kept telling me that he wanted me to do it anyways. Im just sad about this whole situation, I dont want to ruin our relationship over sex. I feel like its this recurring issue in my life that just fucks stuff up. I was molested as a kid and he fucking knows this, and he knows what a big deal it is for me and he still fucking pushed and pressured me.

JCC · 09-07-2008, 10:39 AM

I knew there was some sort of issue involved, from the very beginning. Sucks, but you can't let it get in the way forever.