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Shill Post your website announcements here. Anything that is blatantly SPAM (nigerian schemes, make money fast, etc) will be deleted. Actually, we'd probably keep the nigerian schemes around to make fun of it.

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Old 10-08-2011, 07:38 PM   #101
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Yes, we are...

HAIL SATAN!
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Old 10-08-2011, 07:44 PM   #102
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Yes, we are...

HAIL SATAN!
so your speaking for everyone huh?
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Old 10-08-2011, 07:49 PM   #103
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Mostly everyone....since we don't even believe in this 'satan' I think it's safe to say that most of the other members on the forum are perfectly okay with my joke.
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Old 10-08-2011, 08:19 PM   #104
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I'm not hailing Satan. I'm praising the god of fornication. Jesus' pop gives a fuck ... or many fucks!

I want more of that action Lot got, long before his wife was turned into a pillar of salt!

Heck yeah, good times!
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Old 10-08-2011, 08:29 PM   #105
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I'm not hailing Satan. I'm praising the god of fornication. Jesus' pop gives a fuck ... or many fucks!

I want more of that action Lot got, long before his wife was turned into a pillar of salt!

Heck yeah, good times!
lot didn't get any action besides his wife in sodom because he was a rightouse man, but after lots wife turned into a piller of salt he slept with his daughters
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Old 10-08-2011, 08:59 PM   #106
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Something for everyone, I suppose.
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Old 10-08-2011, 09:11 PM   #107
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lot didn't get any action besides his wife in sodom because he was a rightouse man, but after lots wife turned into a piller of salt he slept with his daughters
Ah yes, incest. Another fabulous biblical passtime.
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Old 10-08-2011, 10:05 PM   #108
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Ah yes, incest. Another fabulous biblical passtime.
Funny... on topic, my hardcore X-Tian friend (they still exist) gave me a bible and told me to start with the New Testament. I asked why. She said it was all about Jebus and his life, etc.

Now, I'm one who likes to start at the beginning of any book, so The Old Testament came first. Fucked up stuff indeed.

Damn! I didn't want to keep this trainwreck of a thread alive. My bad.
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Old 10-08-2011, 10:20 PM   #109
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Funny... on topic, my hardcore X-Tian friend (they still exist) gave me a bible and told me to start with the New Testament. I asked why. She said it was all about Jebus and his life, etc.

Now, I'm one who likes to start at the beginning of any book, so The Old Testament came first. Fucked up stuff indeed.

Damn! I didn't want to keep this trainwreck of a thread alive. My bad.
hey this thread is going to reach thousands with the gospel it's not a train reck, and the bible isn't messed up, it's the truth
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Old 10-09-2011, 12:39 AM   #110
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Ya, Jesus is great.
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Old 10-09-2011, 03:41 AM   #111
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hey this thread is going to reach thousands with the gospel it's not a train reck, and the bible isn't messed up, it's the truth
You now stand on a very slippery slope.

Very few biblical scholars believe the ENTIRE bible is actually factual.

Do you believe that every football player and all who work a job on Sunday are going to hell? Or that you have the right to sell your sister/daughter into slavery.

You do if you are claiming every part of the bible is true, including Leviticus.
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
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and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 10-09-2011, 04:47 AM   #112
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You now stand on a very slippery slope.

Very few biblical scholars believe the ENTIRE bible is actually factual.

Do you believe that every football player and all who work a job on Sunday are going to hell? Or that you have the right to sell your sister/daughter into slavery.

You do if you are claiming every part of the bible is true, including Leviticus.
well I take the bible literaly to it's entire. It is all true. also I believe that whoever is saved, meaning born again is going to heaven, and all I do is tell people how to become born again, anything wrong with that?
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Old 10-09-2011, 08:13 AM   #113
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Hey Pothead, where was jesus and god when Hitler was gasing their most dedicated followers? Ah yes, god works in mysterious ways innit? Sitting back and watching your flock be persecuted and tortured for millenia (when you have the power to stop it) is a tad more than mysterious, it's fucking evil man!

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Old 10-09-2011, 09:09 AM   #114
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well I take the bible literaly to it's entire. It is all true. also I believe that whoever is saved, meaning born again is going to heaven, and all I do is tell people how to become born again, anything wrong with that?
Listen, I'm a little busy selling my sister (and every other female I know) into slavery - there's a nice, tidy profit to be had from that. Next, while I'm counting my money, I think I'll be able to muster up a sincere "Jesus, please forgive me" prayer.

Then we'll be best buds, alright?
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As the poets have mournfully sung,
death takes the innocent young,
the rolling in money,
the screamingly funny,
and those who are very well hung.


Your days are numbered - 26,280 per person on average - 2,000,000,000 heartbeats ... tick, tick, tick
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Old 10-09-2011, 04:41 PM   #115
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well I take the bible literaly to it's entire. It is all true. also I believe that whoever is saved, meaning born again is going to heaven, and all I do is tell people how to become born again, anything wrong with that?
So in Genesis chapter 1 when it says God made humans male and female all at the same time, and in Genesis chapter 2 when it tells a different story altogether, the story of Adam and Eve, did God make humans or just Adam and Eve?
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Old 10-09-2011, 07:16 PM   #116
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So in Genesis chapter 1 when it says God made humans male and female all at the same time, and in Genesis chapter 2 when it tells a different story altogether, the story of Adam and Eve, did God make humans or just Adam and Eve?
well really man was made before women, but then God said it is not good for man to be alone so he created a female, the bible doesn't say they were created at the same time, in the first chapter of genesis it just gives an outline of what God created, I'm not sure how much time went by before God created eve, but when you read the next chaapter it says God created eve after adam, and yes I believe that adam, and eve was the first, and only humans God made, and they were comanded to be fruitfull, and multiply
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Old 10-09-2011, 09:18 PM   #117
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So, with my limited biblical knowledge, wasn't Lillith created first and considered herself to be EQUAL to Adam?
And then Eve was created, to be subservient to Adam?

Correct me if I'm wrong... haven't read the book in a while.
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Old 10-09-2011, 10:39 PM   #118
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Uggghhhhh....
There's no fucking mention of Lilith anywhere in Genesis.
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Old 10-10-2011, 07:10 AM   #119
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Uggghhhhh....
There's no fucking mention of Lilith anywhere in Genesis.
I thought she was in the Jewish teachings, not the christian.
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Old 10-10-2011, 10:13 AM   #120
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That's why I wasn't sure if it was in the KJV or a different version of the bible...
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Old 10-10-2011, 05:21 PM   #121
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It's not in any fucking version of any fucking bible.
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You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
real classy
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Old 10-11-2011, 02:19 AM   #122
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That's why I wasn't sure if it was in the KJV or a different version of the bible...
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It's not in any fucking version of any fucking bible.
Lilith comes from Hebrew mythology. She was Adam's first wife. Eve was his 3rd, possibly 4th wife.

Lilith was made from earth, just like Adam, therefore she saw herself equal to him and refused to be subservient so she left the garden and went to the banks of the red sea where she cavorted with demons and produced Lilin - demon babies, all female, as many as 100 or more per day. God's angels destroyed most of her offspring in order to punish her for refusing to obey god's will. In turn, she cursed Adam's male descendants. This is why Jews put a coin with the 3 angel's names over the mouths of newborns. (Don't know if they still do that, but they used to.)

The Hebrew bible is virtually the same as the christian's old testament. it's all based on mythology. only difference is the parts religions choose to believe is true vs the parts they don't.

Many ancient cultures have a similar creation myth regardless of the predominant religion of that region today.
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Old 10-11-2011, 06:42 AM   #123
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The Hebrew bible
Is that like the Hebrew dianetics?
That's it, get the fuck out.
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You fucking people [war veterans] are only a step below entitled rich kids, the only difference being you had to do and witness horrible things, instead of being given everything.
real classy
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Old 10-11-2011, 11:34 AM   #124
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Is that like the Hebrew dianetics?
That's it, get the fuck out.
Alan, you're such an angry little girl. Always trying to start an argument. methinks you should change the batteries in your vibrator.

there is nothing wrong with referring to the tora as a bible, or to the quran as a bible.

dianetics is not a bible. nor is the satanic bible really a bible. only true similarities to actual bibles is they are both used for religious indoctrination.
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Old 10-11-2011, 05:08 PM   #125
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You're such an ignorant and ethnocentric dipshit. Lilith does not even appear in the Torah, so it's not even a matter of you using wrong words. IT's a matter of you being 100% god damn wrong.
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