Self Medicating to Counter Medication???

[mindless1]

I would say my dad is intelligent, but also he seems centric or he thinks one thing and doesn't consider the validity of multiple opposing views. He told me that if I had Autism it wouldn't matter, because even though they're similar it's all about treating the symptoms and not the label itself, and says not to define myself by my label. That's not it though, being called schizophrenic since you were fifteen is rather troubling.

Esp. if you don't agree with it and never believed you had it; so recently I met this guy who swore he knew my dad from a hospital he works at. My dad IS on the board there, but my dad said he had only been working there one year, but this guy said he remember my dad from the 90's so it was just odd. It didn't help that I was smoking pot at the time. This guy was a psych major, had his M.D. I think, and worked at the same hospital. He also said I didn't seem schizoaffective, most people don't think I do. And I think it DOES matter that I'm being labeled something with symptoms that are always gone...and that the one medication I take is also used to treat Irritability in Autism and it's the only one that works. But my psychiatrist ignored me and i got upset, the next day I was so upset I OD'd on Abilify and she took me off something that made me think more accurately and quickly, then turned around and said I was "angry" at her, so there are significant dumbing down effects of the anti-psychotic I take because I Agreed although I hadn't been angry and hardly raised my voice.

My dad might have cancer. He seems oblivious sometimes of things. He yells at me, though he supports me financially, it's just hard for me to understand...because I fucking hate being dependent on anyone! And this M.D. I met said it would be sick if they tried to put my mom under for being an activist. She used to be, and she told me she had been given Electroshock, but everyone else says she hadn't. I recently found out she was diagnosed with Borderline, then Manic Depressive, now Schizophrenic. I mean holy shit. That's soo much fucking bullshit to take in.

I'm really really lost right now, I feel like telling the cops or FBI or someone because I feel like it's a conspiracy against activists. But the FBI are here, in my town near DC, they are using surveillance and possibly keeping tabs on students. I'm sick of it. What should i do?