G.Net in the jungles of southeast asia.

[Versus]

As a disclaimer, Saya kept me from finishing this. I'll post what I have left tomorrow.

CUT TO A DIMLY LIT OPERATIONS ROOM. THE BRIGHT LIGHT OF CONSOLES AND SYSTEM DISPLAYS WASH THE ROOM IN AN EERIE BLUE LIGHT. THE CREW STANDS BEFORE A LARGE MONITOR THAT DISPLAYS THE LAYOUT OF THE ENTIRE CORRUPTED FORUM, WITH THE GENERAL SECTION AT IT'S CENTER; LIKE THE HEART OF A CANCEROUS BEAST THAT STUBBORNLY BEATS IN THE FACE OF FUTILITY. HUMAINPAIN STEPS FORWARD TO MEET WITH UNDERWATER OPHELIA, WHO STANDS APART FROM THEM.

HP: As can be observed from a quick glance [motioning to the dominant monitor], the situation is dire. At approximately 1420 ZULU time, the trolls made their attacks. In the ensuing chaos, we could not muster our defenses to repel it. With the illustrious Don's guidance and coordination, we were able to escape to the general forum, which we now reside. Sometime during the assault, Alan and and Apathy's Child had gone missing. We had not discovered this until we were able to regroup and conduct a thorough headcount. It is unknown what the true number of casualties is, but it can be determined that those who have not reported have either deserted, been captured, or killed. In any understanding, they are now lost to us.

SOLUMINA MOVES TO A NEARBY CONSOLE AND ALMOST AS ABRUPTLY, A VIDEO RECORDING TAKES THE PLACE OF THE FORUM DIAGNOSTIC. THE VISAGE OF SUPERMAN NOW DOMINATES THE SCREEN.

Superman: HEEEEYYO G.net! We gotcha BOOIIIIS!!! [Makes a raise the roof" gesture] And demands too!

CAMERA PANS TO LEXLUOTHOR.

LexLuthor: Ahh yeah bitches! Now you works for us! Check this sheit, yo. You gotta make us admins like SSJ_Goku, or we gotta make yo bois LIKE US.

Superman: [Fighting over the camera] YEAH! They gonna have big muscles and sheit. So you better pay up, suckas!

CAMERA PANS TO THE UNMISTAKEABLE FIGURE OF ALAN. HE'S TIED TO A SIMPLE, WOODEN CHAIR AND GLARES AT THE CAMERA INDIGNANTLY. CAMERA TRANSITIONS TO STATIC BEFORE CUTTING BACK TO HP.

HP: As can be observed, they are mad. Could you imagine the likes of them with administration privileges?

Murderofcrows: Anarchy like none before.

Saya: Actually, in 2006, ther-

MOC: Like none before.

HP: [Turning to Versus] So, you can see why we need you more then ever.

Versus: What's the mission, Colonel?

HP: You will infiltrate by Black Hawk, provided by Despanan and AshleyO-

BOTH HIGH FIVE UPON THE MENTION OF THEIR NAME.

HP: -to the Commentary section. From there, they will await your signal for exfil back to general. Your first mission objective: Recovery of the hostages, the forums literary heart, Apathy's Child, and the forum's obscure political pulse, Alan. Intelligence reports that there is little activity in commentary area, so stealth shouldn't be a large difficulty. From there, make your way to literature. These aerial photos [screen flickers to a large complex], provided by Fruitbat, show that he is being held in small containment camp in literature. Once he is secured, make your way to the politics and secure extraction with him and signal Despanan and AshleyO-

SUBSEQUENT HIGH FIVE FROM DESP AND AO.

HP: -for his exfil. Reconnaissance assets confirm that Alan is being held in the next level, politics. Upon his extraction, you may move to your next mission objective: To verify if the trolls possess the capability to transform regular members into trolls, and stop them if they do. We are aware that the trolls have hijacked a multiple launch rocket system and are staged to use it. The rockets are armed with trollx2 gas, and upon detonation, would collapse the fabric of our forums.

Versus: Jesus. That can't be!

HP: That's why we need you. Nobody has the expertise or experience to handle this without your leadership. It's not an exaggeration to imply that you are our only hope.

TURNING TO THE REST OF THE CREW, HP ADOPTS AN INQUISITIVE POSTURE. CAMERA PANS ACROSS THE PALE BLUE FACES OF THE TEAM.

Renatus: Service and support?

MOC:Weapons and equipment? On-site purchase?

HP: No. Due to the gravity of the situation, we have changed the standard operating procedure. You are authorized anything you can carry. This is not a black-op, anymore, but as always, once you SP, you are on your own. There is no resupply, there is no rescue squad, there is no back-up.

Solumina: I'll be providing inspirational and emotional support from here. Frequency FM Thirty-two hundred, but other than that, it's all up to you.

THE TEAM EXCHANGES FURTIVE AND WORRIED GLANCES, BUT NOTHING FURTHER CAN BE GARNERED FROM THEIR IMPROMPTU BRIEFING.

Versus: [Looking to Desp and AO] When can we start?

Desp: Within the hour.

Versus: Let's get this over with, then. [Turning to the rest of the team] Ready up.

HP: Operation: Gothic Serpent is a go.

Versus: Black Hawk Down.

HP: Operation Overlord?

Versus: Normandy.

HP: Operation: Dumbo Drop?

Versus: What? Are you even trying?

HP: ...

Solumina: [Face palming] Again?

[Murder.Of.Crows]

pure genius.

[Apathy's_Child]

Fuck. Yeah.

[Versus]

CUT TO AN OBSCENELY LARGE SHOULDER AND BICEP PROFUSE WITH MANLY PERSPIRATION. CAMERA PANS DOWN AS THE UNAPPROPRIATED LIMB WRITHES WITH POWER IN AN INDISCERNIBLE TASK.

CUT TO MOC AND RENATUS LOADING AMMUNITION. A DISTINCTIVE 'SHIK-SHIK-SHIK' SOUND CAN BE HEARD AS EACH INDIVIDUAL CARTRIDGE IS PRESSED AND SECURED INTO IT'S BOX MAGAZINE.

Ren: What do you think?

MOC: About what?

Ren: The mission.

MOC: I don't know, honestly. I don't post enough to really establish a caricature of myself and provide any basis for how I would react in this kind of situation.

Ren: I was pondering the same thing. What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? What am I here for?

MOC: No, no, no. I meant in this fan fiction. I really don't understand what purpose I serve in a story like this. It seems so out of place.

Ren: You're probably going to die first.

MOC: Don't say that!

Ren: It's the only plausible explanation. Versus has made it abundantly clear that he doesn't like you, or at the very least, that you are a scrotum leech on his manhood.

MOC: "Scrotum leech" is very out of character for you, too, though.

Ren: But what IS in character for me? I hardly post about anything poignant, either.

MOC: Exactly. Maybe you'll die first.

Ren: [Stopping his task as if struck by an epiphany]

MOC: Yeah. See?

CAMERA CUTS TO A TEN INCH TALL BLACK LEATHER BOOT BEING LACED BY A PAIR OF EXCEPTIONALLY MANLY HANDS RIDDLED WITH CALLOUSED SKIN FROM SOME KIND OF MASCULINE PHYSICAL LABOR THAT MUST HAVE OCCURRED OFF-CAMERA, ESTABLISHING THAT WHOEVER OWNS THIS PAIR OF BOXING MITTS MUST HAVE LIVED A HARD LIFE BUT COME OUT OF IT A TOTAL BAD ASS.

CUT TO SAYA AND SOLUMINA. SAYA IS OILING A LARGE MACHINE GUN THAT EASILY SPANS ALMOST TWICE HER WIDTH. SATISFIED, SHE RACKS THE CHARGING HANDLE BACK AND FORTH AND LISTENS ATTENTIVELY TO THE "KA-SHINK KA-SHINK KA-SHINK' FOR ANY EXCESSIVE METAL ON METAL GRINDING. SOLUMINA LEANS OVER A LARGE MONITOR.

Sol: [Turning to Saya] What are you doing?

Saya: [Frantically] I don't know! [Racking the charging handle again] I think I'm being drawn into a male power fantasy. I don't know anything about guns, let alone MIL-SPEC automatic weapons. It's silly that I would be doing this.

Sol: [Quizzically] Aren't you a pacifist who supports demilitarization?

Saya: [Sheepishly] YES! This goes against everything that I believe in. My ovaries hurt.

CUT TO PREVIOUSLY SEEN MAN HANDS DIPPING INTO A TIN OF MULTICOLORED PAINT. THE INDEX AND MIDDLE FINGERS DIG DEEP INTO THE SUBSTANCE, LEAVING WIDE CRACKS AND DIPS IN THEIR WAKE.

CUT TO DESPANAN AND ASHLEYO. THEY BUZZ AROUND THEIR CHOPPER MAKING FINAL CREW CHECKS, DOUBLE CHECKS, TRIPLE CHECKS; ANYTHING FOR THE PIECE OF MIND THAT THEIR SLICE OF SANITY WILL FLY LIKE A FINELY-TUNED, WELL-OILED MACHINE.

Despanan: [Shouting from the crew compartment to AshleyO in the cock-pit] We are some hard working MOTHER FUCKERS!

AshleyO: FUCK YEAH! And punctual, too!

Desp: Punctual as shit! I'm going to pull so much ass with this flight suit and chopper!

AO: [As if recovering from a blow to the throat] Whoa, dude. Hang on. [Turning behind him to look at Desp] I thought we talked about this.

Desp: What are you talking about?

AO: [Sullenly turning back to his controls and indicators] Nothing... [Inaudibly to himself] It's nothing... [Peering into the distance as the memories over-take him] Nothing at all...

CUT TO OVER THE SHOULDER VIEW. IN THE FOREGROUND, THE BACK OF A SHAVEN HEAD THAT SITS ATOP A MOUNTAIN OF MUSCLES CAN BE SEEN. IN THE BACKGROUND, AN OUT OF FOCUS MIRROR IS HELD UP BY A MAN HAND. REFLECTED IS AN UNIDENTIFIABLE FACE BEING SMEARED WITH PAINT.

CUT TO HUMAINPAIN AND UNDERWATER OPHELIA. OPHIE SITS IN HER TALL CHAIR, IT'S BACK FACING THE CAMERA AND OBSCURING HER FROM VISION EXCEPT FOR AN OCCASIONAL HAND TO FLICK THE ASHES OF A CLOVE CIGARETTE TO A NEARBY ASHTRAY. AN INTERMITTENT BILLOW OF THICK SMOKE IS SEEN WAFTING FROM THE HIGHEST PART OF THE CHAIR.

CAMERA PANS SLIGHTLY TO REVEAL HUMAINPAIN DRAMATICALLY PLAYING A SOFT PIECE OF MUSIC ON AN ANCIENT LOOKING PIANO. UPON FINISHING, HE TURNS TO OPHIE.

HP: [In a almost imperceptibly low voice] Your loyal servant requests permission to speak, ma'am.

Ophie: [After a moment] Speak!

HP: [Even lower] I love you. That is all.

Ophie: [Throwing her cigarette at HP in rage] WELL I GOD DAMN HOPE SO, because if you don't deliver the goods I'm going have your fucking balls on a plate! [Throwing the ashtray at HP violently] DO YOU HEAR ME? On a fucking PLATE!

HP: [Taking the shattering ashtray to the face without flinching] Do not fret, my dear. [Reaching down to recover the pieces and deposit the remnants into a nearby trash bin] I have the utmost confidence in Versus' ability to accomplish the mission. He possesses an almost inhuman tenacity and force of will, with no regard for his own safety. If it means dieing to accomplish his mission, then he will die.

Ophie: [Lighting another cigarette and speaking with another cloud of smoke] Good.

HUMAINPAIN MOVES ADJACENT TO UNDERWATER OPHELIA AND PLACES AN OPEN HAND WHERE THE ASHTRAY ONCE WAS. UNDERWATER OPHELIA FLICKS A LARGE CLUMP OF BRITTLE ASH INTO IT.

Ophie: [Quietly to herself] Good...

SCREEN FADES TO BLACK. AFTER A MOMENT, A QUIET WHIRRING SOUND CAN BE HEARD WITH A LOW THUD EVERY FEW SECONDS. AS IF FROM A GREAT DISTANCE, HUMAINPAIN'S VOICE CAN BE HEARD CALLING FOR VERSUS. THE WHIRRING INCREASES IN VOLUME TO A DEAFENING ROAR AMONGST A CACOPHONY OF MACHINE GUN FIRE BURSTS AND SUBSEQUENT SNAPS, CRACKS, AND POPS.

HP: Versus!

CUT TO VERSUS STANDING WITH THE TEAM AS THEY ASSEMBLE NEAR THE PREPPED CHOPPER. IT'S ROTORS CREATE A TORRENT OF WIND THAT HURLS DUST INTO THE FACES OF THE ASSEMBLED MEN AND WOMEN. THEIR HAIR CAN BE SEEN AT HORIZONTAL ANGLES FROM THEIR FACES, AND THEIR CLOTHES AND UNIFORMS SHARPLY CONFORM TO THEIR BODIES TO ACCOMMODATE THE RUSHING AIR PUMMELING THROUGH THEM.

HP: [Trying to shout over the noise of the chopper to Versus] You've got 36 hours to finish the mission! Anything past that, and we can't afford to wait for you any longer! God speed!

THE TEAM LOADS INTO THE CREW COMPARTMENT BEFORE VERSUS. A LITANY OF BUCKLES AND STRAPS CAN BE SEEN AS THEY ARE THROWN ABOUT FROM THE TEAM SECURING THEMSELVES AND THEIR EQUIPMENT WITH SYNCHRONIZED AND WELL PRACTICED PRECISION. VERSUS, CONFIDENT THAT THEY ARE READY, TURNS FROM HP AND TAKES A STEP TO THE CHOPPER, BUT STOPS TO TURN AROUND AGAIN.

Versus: [To HP] Do you remember when Ophie said I was caught in her web?

HP: I can recall.

Versus: It's true. [Registering HP's silence for a moment.] You're the only one I can trust, Colonel.

VERSUS HURLS HIMSELF INTO THE CABIN, AND KNEELS NEXT TO DESPANAN AND ASHLEYO TO GIVE THEM A CONFIDENT 'THUMBS UP.' THEY RESPOND WITH HITTING A SEQUENCE OF SWITCHES THAT CAUSE THE CHOPPER'S ENGINE TO INCREASE IN PITCH TO A THUNDEROUS WHINE. SAYA MOVES NEXT TO THE OPENING TO MAN THE MACHINE GUN MOUNTED WHERE THE DOOR SHOULD BE AND RENDERS HP A QUICK SALUTE BEFORE ASHLEYO CAN BE SEEN THRUSTING A THROTTLE HANDLE FORWARD. IN AN INSTANT THE HELICOPTER IS CATAPULTED INTO THE NIGHT SKY WITH SUCH A VIOLENCE THAT IT CAUSES THE TEAM TO LURCH AS THE MOMENTUM SHOOTS THROUGH THEIR BODIES AND INTO THEIR GUTS.

STILL STANDING AT THE LANDING PAD, HUMAINPAIN CAN BE SEEN WATCHING THE CHOPPER UNTIL IT IS WELL BEYOND THE DISTANCE WHICH IT COULD BE SEEN ANYMORE. HE MOUTHS AN INAUDIBLE WORD TO HIMSELF BEFORE SOLUMINA CAN BE SEEN JOINING HIM. WITH A GENTLE HAND ON HIS SHOULDER, SHE BECKONS HIM INSIDE TO THE COMMAND CENTER.

CAMERA PANS UPWARD TO THE NIGHT SKY AND RESTS THERE FOR A MOMENT, THEN PANS DOWN AGAIN TO REVEAL A DIFFERENT SETTING. A LIGHT CAN BE SEEN THROUGH A DENSELY WOODED JUNGLE. CAMERA ZOOMS IN TO REVEAL A LARGE CAVE COMPLEX. CAMERA ZOOMS IN FURTHER ON ONE OF THE ENTRANCES UNTIL THE SCREEN FADES TO BLACK AGAIN.

A MONITOR FLICKERS ON, AND SUPERMAN CAN BE SEEN WHEN THE IMAGE FOCUSES.

Superman: HEEEEEEYYYYO! Dat inside agent gave da phat signal!!!

SCREEN FLICKERS OFF.

???: They've made their move.

???: Give the command to intercept.

???: At last, we will reveal ourselves to g.net. At last, we will have our revenge.

[Solumina]

"My ovaries hurt" Ahahahahahahaha

[Apathy's_Child]

I totally let those guys catch me so I can take their shit down from the inside, amirite?

[Versus]

I don't know yet. Do I look like the man with the plan? I'm still trying to work out who will die gruesomely.

I'm looking at you, AC.

[Apathy's_Child]

... Dammit. And I was the one who told you not to listen to audience suggestions unless you honest-to-god like them better than what you had planned.

I've created a monster.

[Versus]

Stay tuned. You'll love some of this shit.

[Apathy's_Child]

Aight, aight. Just as long as that shit's epic. If & when I expire, I won't use it as an excuse to give you a lame-ass zombie role when I reboot the ZA, provided the death itself: 1) is awesome, and 2) jerks some serious fuckin TEARS.

[Versus]

Don't worry. Trust me when I say I have a few awesome death scenes in store. Like the next time I post. XD

[Apathy's_Child]

Sweeeeeeeeet.

[MissCheyenne]

How come the only fiction I'm in was the porn thread? Am I not good enough, am I not funny enough? You make my titties itch you fuckers.

[Apathy's_Child]

I have roles earmarked for you, Versus, Cuckoo, Sinjob and Sol next time I do fanfic.

[MissCheyenne]

Will I be the stereotypical English chick with a bad hair do and awful teeth?

[Versus]

I'm not sure I could parody you, MC.

[MissCheyenne]

Maybe not, I don't say a lot about anything worth knowing about me. Porn and crying is all you need to know though really. Porn and crying.

[Versus]

I'd feel bad about that. D:

[MissCheyenne]

Nah, I'm just a gentle person, I get emotional over everything. I don't have a baddass bone in my body, I'm just really dull and nice.

[Murder.Of.Crows]

Aw man, I'm so gonna die first... oh well. Perhaps my death will be a moderately awesome one. But I get it, I don't have much of a personality crafted here on Gnet. Maybe that is all i am in real life though, a scrotal leech. Sucking whatever manhood I can to survive from my peers. This has been a real eye opener... I need a fucking personality, i need to fucking evolve, become more than a spineless parasite attached to the balls of others.

[MissCheyenne]

Chill MOC, someone's gotta suck the balls. What would life be without some ball suckers thrown in there for good measure?

[Versus]

Originally Posted by Murder.Of.Crows

Aw man, I'm so gonna die first... oh well. Perhaps my death will be a moderately awesome one. But I get it, I don't have much of a personality crafted here on Gnet. Maybe that is all i am in real life though, a scrotal leech. Sucking whatever manhood I can to survive from my peers. This has been a real eye opener... I need a fucking personality, i need to fucking evolve, become more than a spineless parasite attached to the balls of others.

trololololol

[Murder.Of.Crows]

Originally Posted by MissCheyenne

Chill MOC, someone's gotta suck the balls. What would life be without some ball suckers thrown in there for good measure?

lol, I was half joking anyways. I rarely take anything seriously, let alone Versus.

[MissCheyenne]

Then long may your ball sucking continue \o/

[Versus]

Hehehe, MOC is cool. I gave him a hard time when he first came to the forum for no reason, so he can definitely take a joke. XD