Herro! ^.^

[The Passage]

Ok, so... hi! Um, I normally don't do these - as I like to retain an aura of mysteriousness and secrecy about me - but I'm bored and I miss my old Goth forum... so, without any further disclaimers as to why I'm posting this, I suppose I should begin with my name. My name is Crystal, or "C." for short. Most people refer to me as the latter.

I'm currently transitioning from one stage of my life and into another, like a moth emerging from it's not so pretty cocoon, and trying to rebuild my self esteem all at the same time, which is not an easy task. In an attempt to cope with my issues of anxiety, depression, and the GID that caused my emotional difficulties to develop, I've gained a few pounds and now I'm trying to lose those pounds (and an addiction here and there) on top of everything else. Yeah, I'm not having a fun time right now... but at least I have my little escapes, right?? /facepalm...

Friends do help in that regard, I guess.

Lately, as I've been feeling more comfortable with myself, and who I am, my interest in certain music genres have resurfaced -- and that, I suppose, is ultimately why I'm here. I guess I'm also here to kill time in between of trying to get my life back and the depressing little moments when I start coming down from a "social high" of sorts, since video games no longer fill that void for me.

I would go further into detail but my trust has been betrayed too many times and I really don't feel like divulging information about myself unless I know that the person or persons I'm talking to isn't going to gather an angry mob and lynch me for being a "freak". That probably sounds pretty stupid in your heads when it's being said on a Goth forum... but I've met some nasty people in surprising places, so meh. I mean, let's be honest here, I hardly think anyone gives a shit about my problems, right? I think we're all here to just kill time. And I guess that's that.

Hopefully tomorrow will grant me a less moodier state of mind? -crosses her fingers-

- C./The Passage

[Versus]

Hi. I hope you find what you're looking for here. I feel like I should offer a disclaimer, but we're pretty transparent if you lurk a little bit and I don't think it's very necessary.

[MissCheyenne]

Welcome to G.Net.

[Murder.Of.Crows]

Hi and well welcome to Gnet. I'm sorry to hear about you current situation GiD isn't something I'd wish on anyone. But, you'll find that people on here are actually really cool. I have to say though I'm a little jealous, I'm still stuck in the larva form and haven't had the money to even begin building my cocoon. Anyways, welcome and just be yourself here, it's often fun here. Sometimes infuriating, but that's pretty fun too.

[The Passage]

Thank you, everyone... I'm sorry my post seemed fairly stiff last night. Needless to say, I'm in a slightly better mood today. :P

Originally Posted by Murder.Of.Crows

Hi and well welcome to Gnet. I'm sorry to hear about you current situation GiD isn't something I'd wish on anyone. But, you'll find that people on here are actually really cool. I have to say though I'm a little jealous, I'm still stuck in the larva form and haven't had the money to even begin building my cocoon. Anyways, welcome and just be yourself here, it's often fun here. Sometimes infuriating, but that's pretty fun too.

Awww.. I'm so sorry. Honestly, I don't blame you. It is SO immensely difficult to change your gender, it really is, as if living with the horrible feeling of basically being in the wrong body wasn't bad enough. I mean, not only is it hard to support, financially, but you also have to go through the entire social shift that inevitably comes with your transition -- explaining to friends, family, loved ones. If you have children, that can be even worse.

Or you could just up and leave.. but that wouldn't be fair to the people who love you, if they do love you. Not everyone in your family is going to like you for who you are.

You know, it's almost like being a chicken that wants to fly... they can sort of manage to glide but they'll never be able to truly fly off and escape their prison of being dinner someday. Just the same, I will never, ever, ever be a genetic woman. That is my greatest desire but it's something I'll never achieve... and, quite honestly, it's depressing as hell lol.

The good news is that it does get better. I'm about 9 months into my hormonal transition and I can honestly say that things are starting to look up for me. While I know that I'll never accomplish what I want the most I can at least get pretty damn close to it. And that's kind of all I need, I think... we're only here in this plane of existence for so long, you know? This whole thing is more or less a way to cope with our condition. It's not a means to an end, it's really just a method of lacing up the deadly mold in our lives.... metaphorically speaking, if that makes any sense hehe.

Anyway... sorry for going off on a mini rant there. I sure hope we're talking about the same GID here... LOL!!

[Jimmorison]

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[shadowynne]

i think you sound lovely. be strong my dear...

[The Passage]

Originally Posted by shadowynne

i think you sound lovely. be strong my dear...

Well, thank you! I'm really trying. I've been out and about a little more lately, starting to get my social life back. Running into people who like the things I like and listen to the music that I listen to is really nice too. It's a bitch trying to really make friends with people who don't.



It's funny when you return to something you wrote about a month or so ago and realize it's totally lame.