joke thread... - Page 8

Grausamkeit · 09-04-2011, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

I laugh every time I see that damned thing.

ape descendant · 09-04-2011, 01:38 PM

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
......
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.... *rimshot*

Grausamkeit · 09-04-2011, 02:56 PM

Ha!

Jesus walks into an inn, he hands the innkeeper 3 nails and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Beowulf · 09-04-2011, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grausamkeit

Ha!

Jesus walks into an inn, he hands the innkeeper 3 nails and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"

Wolfie, that is really funny, I`ll have to remember that one !!!.

some more musical jokes ...

The captain on a Roman galley makes an announcement to the slaves chained to the oars.
'I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to receive a double ration of rum. The bad news is that today Dave Lombardo is on the drums.

Why is a jazz critic like a eunuch in a harem?
Because he is there every night, he sees people do it every night, but he can't do it himself.

What is the other difference between a drummer and a drum machine ?

The drum machine has memory !!!. :P

Grausamkeit · 09-04-2011, 05:53 PM

It's from The Crow.

I am soooo unoriginal.

Beowulf · 09-05-2011, 10:23 AM

Hi Wolfie !!!. *HUGZ* !!!.

Solumina · 09-05-2011, 10:08 PM

Courtesy of my brother:
What did the letter O say to the letter Q?

"Dude, your dick is hanging out"

Dr.Faustust · 09-06-2011, 01:53 AM

Bible misinterpretations The bible says it's ok to be bitch :Mary road Joesphs ass all the way to Jerusalum Jesus drove A Honda: the disciples were in an accord. The use of drugs : the adultress got stoned. Of elasticity:Jesus tied his ass to a tree and walked forty miles into the desert. Of sex: Jesus went to mount Olive.......then got laid in the tomb. I hope you ejoy blasphemy

Grausamkeit · 09-06-2011, 10:29 AM

Actually, the 'whore' didn't get stoned. She was going to till J-man had to be a lousy do-gooder with his "let he who has no sin cast the first stone" bullshit. Jesus totally got laid in a tomb, though. Talk about Goth as fuck!

Dr.Faustust · 09-06-2011, 07:26 PM

Here's a few ways to insult your friend and enemys with a bit of humor... "there's nothing I won't do for you,and I'm going to keep doing it". "your outstanding in your field ,and that's where you should be-out standing in your field" "Your not who you used to be, and you never were"

Geoluhread · 11-16-2020, 04:43 AM

I came up with this joke 6 years ago at the time of the Scottish referendum to leave the UK.

Scotland, being distant and non-talkative, the UK senses something is wrong. So it asks Scotland: U K?
Scotland: No.

The referendum voted to remain afterwards - but I'm still proud of that joke.

Molster · 11-16-2020, 05:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Geoluhread

I came up with this joke 6 years ago at the time of the Scottish referendum to leave the UK.

Scotland, being distant and non-talkative, the UK senses something is wrong. So it asks Scotland: U K?
Scotland: No.

The referendum voted to remain afterwards - but I'm still proud of that joke.

Giggles, as someone who was in Scotland at the time, I like it...

For the Americans here:
Them: "Why do you always carry a knife?"
Me: "The last time I tried to open a bag of chips with a 9mm, things didn’t go so well."