Suicide thoughts

NightWolf · 06-30-2007, 09:11 AM

For ages now, I've wondered if it's normal for me to think about suicide everytime I've got time to think. Because it's almost the only thing I think about and it's controlling me. It's like my brain knows I want to do it and is tormenting me with it, egging me on so I don't hesitate. Sometimes I even start getting things ready to do it, but the timing is never right, things interfere. Problems from the past are creeping up on me and are interfering in my screwed up little life and it's like I'm a mouse stuck under a mountain and I cant escape, ever.

I hate living. =(

mrs.wes straker · 06-30-2007, 10:00 AM

No, it's not normal, and you should seek professional help if it's the case.

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 06-30-2007, 10:27 AM

I get those thoughts too. I also get thought of life what it means and why are we here. But I got help, and I sought out help through my family. I searched for something to believe in. I tried find faith in something that might come after life. It helps to know that someone or something will be there. It is normal to think of those things once in your life. But you can't let it control you. I think that maybe getting help and talking it out with people you love and trust will do a lot for you.

Cyntrox · 06-30-2007, 10:57 AM

I've been through it too, just remember that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

Aaroneet · 06-30-2007, 11:18 AM

Been there, and, yes, you should definitely seek counseling for that kind of thing. It's not something you could otherwise beat on your own; you can only repress it.

Valrys · 06-30-2007, 03:13 PM

Do what others suggested, get some professional help.

Also, think of what you are doing at times you're not thinking about it. Then do these activities more. Or just get out, do something. Be doing something so your brain can't idle over and think these thoughts.

Doing that got me through any times that I had thoughts edging in that direction.

And there is always something out there worth living for. And if you really can't see anything, make something. Get a pet, something that will rely on your continuing existance.

I hope you are alright and you get the help you need. *E-hugs*

james"bloody tears" · 06-30-2007, 05:07 PM

I dealt with those thoughts for four long years(actualy im surprised im here) but what kinda helped was the thought that my friends and family(those that carred) would be devastated and might follow in my footsteps and that thought kept me alive. what keeps me going now is my wonderfull wife, find someone or something that makes you happy and LIVE FOR THAT.

Waki · 06-30-2007, 05:54 PM

Get friends or family members to help, its a great way out. Try to distract yourself from these thoughts. After some time, you will forget about all these and find meaning to your existence.

Aaroneet · 06-30-2007, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by james"bloody tears"

I dealt with those thoughts for four long years(actualy im surprised im here) but what kinda helped was the thought that my friends and family(those that carred) would be devastated and might follow in my footsteps and that thought kept me alive. what keeps me going now is my wonderfull wife, find someone or something that makes you happy and LIVE FOR THAT.

That's the same thing that goes through my head when I have those thoughts. If there are others around you who care about you, then that makes life all the more worth living.

Crying_Crimson_Tears · 06-30-2007, 06:27 PM

Life is always worth living for if you can find the beautiful things in life like; love, family, friends, and etc. You'll make it through. I promise.

Clockwork · 06-30-2007, 06:49 PM

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

I never read it the whole way through, but this may help you. Of course, the best thing to do is to get a person that can help you.

There are so many things worth, living for, NightWolf. Don't let these thoughts control you.

Ishkabibble · 06-30-2007, 08:13 PM

Well it isn't normal to have such thoughts. I suggest, as well as the others have, to seek professional help. Talking with close friends whom you can trust more than your parents or family, is possibly better. Close friends might just have better advice than parents.

Nevertheless, talk with someone about it. Drive your thoughts elsewhere and appreciate what you have left.

Graveyard.Crow · 06-30-2007, 10:15 PM

Please do get help.

Tha Duckman · 06-30-2007, 10:26 PM

Trust me, if you try and fail (Which is usually what happens), there's no worse feeling than that.

E.G. The branch broke, and I'm sitting on my ass in a field thinking "So... What now?"

Any who, I get it and it bites and blah blah blah, what these guys have said, so on so forth.

FUCK! WHERE AM I!?!?

Oh yeah, Tha Duckman says RELAX! Don't do it! When you wanna shoot your self in the face!

To ease depression, I find making muzak helps, no matter how bad it is. It helps things to become aligned in my head so I can see it better, and it's not scrambled like a bunch of wires and what not. Seriousleh!

If all else fails, take an upper (But you didn't here it from me).

mrs.wes straker · 07-01-2007, 01:11 AM

I don't think this is inappropriate, however, it's 'Suicidal Thoughts.'

That is the the proper way to refer to thoughts such as these.

Tha Duckman · 07-01-2007, 01:38 AM

You're right, it's not appropriate. The kid's thinking of killing him / herself, and you're still worried about grammatical errors...

mrs.wes straker · 07-01-2007, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tha Duckman

You're right, it's not appropriate. The kid's thinking of killing him / herself, and you're still worried about grammatical errors...

I'm not worried. I made a statement.

Do I know you? No? Oh, then, try not correcting me. Thank you.

Methadrine · 07-01-2007, 07:59 AM

The signs that the timing is never right, things interfere etc is a good sign by the way. It means that your brains little safety catch isn't fooled yet and that may be enough to get you seeking professional help.

I do want to disagree though when people say that one self can't defeat it. One can... but the price for it is very high and I wouldn't recommend it. You more or less come out of it as a total stranger, even to yourself.

NightWolf · 07-01-2007, 08:05 AM

Thanks, but I don't know..I try and call out for help all the time, and Im just giving up because no one seems to listen to me at all.
I can't tell my mom or anything without her telling every other goddamn person around. I tried to tell her I don't fucking appreciate her telling everyone everything that is going on and she said ''Oh okay, Im sorry I won't'' but I know she does because questions are asked to me and behind my back!
Right now I don't care if people miss me, it just gives them another exuse to talk about me behind my back like they do when Im alive, miss me if they want I don't give a fuck.

Cyntrox · 07-01-2007, 08:10 AM

Your mother does care about you, she might just not realize it.

You could try some of the help numbers or support groups in Clockwork's link...?

mrs.wes straker · 07-01-2007, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NightWolf

Thanks, but I don't know..I try and call out for help all the time, and Im just giving up because no one seems to listen to me at all.
I can't tell my mom or anything without her telling every other goddamn person around. I tried to tell her I don't fucking appreciate her telling everyone everything that is going on and she said ''Oh okay, Im sorry I won't'' but I know she does because questions are asked to me and behind my back!
Right now I don't care if people miss me, it just gives them another exuse to talk about me behind my back like they do when Im alive, miss me if they want I don't give a fuck.

You really need help, and you have to tell someone. Your Mom might go tell others but it's probably because she needs an outlet, or is looking for help. You have to realize that in life, there will be a few times where people know about your embarrassing personal affairs. Just remember that no one is perfect and your feelings about their judgment should disappear. It's worth getting the help you need to prevent a tragedy.

The people on this site can be caring and helpful, but this is the kind of thing you should probably discuss with professionals.

Tha Duckman · 07-01-2007, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrs.wes straker

I'm not worried. I made a statement.

Do I know you? No? Oh, then, try not correcting me. Thank you.

Are you an English teacher? If you're not, try not correcting other people. Thank you.

Lapin · 07-01-2007, 06:12 PM

The last time I had seriously suicidal thoughts, I turned Flogging Molly up so loud I nearly busted the glass in my bedroom window and repainted my bedroom yellow (over blue). Mostly when I'm having my bad days, I re-dye my hair or go get something pierced/inked.

mindless1 · 07-02-2007, 04:26 PM

Wanted to give some good advice. I went through the same stages of thinking with suicidal ideation. It seemed that for awhile it was just so easy to repress what was keeping me sane. I thought of death as an escape or an outlet, an emotionless retaliation to my own feelings of anger. Anger at depression and at feeling so hopeless. You have to accept your circumstances because this is your reality. Even though life has handed you some bad stuff it doesn't mean that there was some devine reason, and if there was it's hard to tell. I don't have those thoughts anymore because i engaged myself in the world around me to a deeper extent, i went soul searching. I found myself when I realized who I was or who I wanted to be and my own limitations. I also have treated my own depression which is something new for me to struggle with. I have had a depression and apathy for awhile. It's only through opening myself up to people, to community, and to self-expression that I have really cleared up some of this negative thinking. It can be difficult but take pride in strengthening yourself. I hope this isn't too lengthy or deep. I'm just relating my own experience and seeing if maybe it might help shed light on yours.

lordmyrdinn · 07-02-2007, 04:29 PM

THe Godess hears you and DOES feel your pain, she will be there for you, just speak to her