What will you do if Zombies suddenly attack?

[Lochnar]

National Guard Armory!

[Pineapple_Juice]

Most military branches are a bunch of zombies already so I guess being infected by the undead wouldn't do much. I'd say any army base would be a good place.

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice

Speaking from someone with extensive zombie survival skills thanks to a very well-known and highly useful book, I would say the car would be a bad choice. The noise would attract zombies for miles and you'd eventually run out of gas. Even if you didn't and you ended up finding gas pumps every time you needed them that magically still worked, you'd have to fend off the undead you attracted with the sound pollution you created with your lifted Geo, or whatever it is.

Then you have to stop and think about how many people thought about getting in their cars and driving away and how all of the roads will have been blocked off with traffic and the zombies will have gone and eaten everyone stuck in the traffic jam, and so you couldn't get through the pileup anyways.
AAAAAAND even if you did you'd have to worry about all the zombies still lurking on the roads and interstates and still strapped into their cars via seatbelts and....
etc
etc
etc

See, that's where you're wrong. My car will have several features that were featured in The Road Warrior. Extra gas tanks and whatnot. Plus, I'm not giving up my car for anything.

You move in a convoy for one, with a semi or tow truck in front to act as blocker and move cars out of the way, and you end with a another heavy vehicle, it's quite simple.

[JethroAranas]

I'd go to the National Bookstore and buy "Killing and escaping from Zombies for the Dummies."

[Still Jack]

Refit the car with a massive sterling engine and one of those conical gearboxes, can't remember the name of them. Dead Z's as fuel!

[Joker_in_the_Pack]

Originally Posted by Still Jack

I have 6 parts to my zombie plan
a) Get car.
b) Get Franck.
c) Steal Snowplow.
d) Weld 6 inch nails to it.
e) Steal booze.
f) Drive to south of France.

Funny enough, this looks like something you would post on Facebook as "Plans for the weekend."

[Immolate]

Originally Posted by CarrionCorpse

haha. I have never heard of someone fearing raptors over zombies.

Why not?
Raptors pose more of a
threat to people than
zombies do.
Not to mention the whole
"new age zombies" that
move faster than the
original ones, still can't
move quite as fast as
raptors can.

[Stormtrooper of Death]

Originally Posted by Still Jack

Refit the car with a massive sterling engine and one of those conical gearboxes, can't remember the name of them. Dead Z's as fuel!

Nah, my 350 will run for as long as I live, never getting rid of that more or the tranny.

[Malice In Wonderland]

Originally Posted by Joker_in_the_Pack

Funny enough, this looks like something you would post on Facebook as "Plans for the weekend."

Practice makes perfect.

[Willard]

Two words: Jell-O Fortress

[Ben Lahnger]

Originally Posted by JethroAranas

I'd go to the National Bookstore and buy "Killing and escaping from Zombies for the Dummies."

It's a zombie invasion! Who's paying for anything?

[vindicatedxjin]

I've found my weapon of choice ^_^

[FlowerGirl]

Originally Posted by vindicatedxjin

i've found my weapon of choice ^_^

hello hello kitty.

[RavenHallows.]

Laugh.. and hope all those people have torches and shotguns and lots of ammo. Or that Hello Kitty chansaw, genius.

[Methadrine]

What I would do? Tell you to take your damn medication because you're seeing things that doesn't exist again.

[Anarasha]

Meth just won the thread.

[DRM]

Originally Posted by Anarasha

Meth just won the thread.

Fact.


messagetooshort

[Saya]

Oh wait wait wait

[Ben Lahnger]

What if the Menendez brothers saw their parents rise from the dead?

"Go ahead, boys. Kill 'em. It's legal this time!"

[Underwater Ophelia]

Do zombies suddenly do anything?

[cultistofvertigo]

Push them over. What are they going to do, decompose at me to death? They're zombies, they have no offensive capabilities, they can't walk, the ones that retain any sort of working mechanics are too slow and stupid to be a danger to anything, the worst case scenario is being bitten by one, which would only be possible if you literally stuck your arm in one's mouth and help it close it's jaw (since, you know, their muscles don't work that well).

If it was one of those Herbert West zombies, however, I'd shoot the thing with a shotgun. Their bodies still work, and they have intestine tentacles and cool shit like that, but they still act like normal zombies, so no real complicated contingency plan is needed.

And who is this babbling about zombies being "scary," scarier that raptors? What the hell are you smoking? "Raptor" is a general term for Dromaeosaurs and Accipitriformes, two of the most terrifying types of... living thing ever. I think Terror Birds count too, but if not, Utahraptor is only a little smaller than Kelenken (I think...). Plus, some of them fly. And you know Aquila (golden eagle and some others)? Those things will throw you off a cliff. No joke. They have a wingspan of something like 2 meters (not that big) and they will THROW you off a cliff.

Fucking THROW you off a cliff. Dromaeosaurs have killing claws, Sagittarius can break your bones by kicking you, Owls don't make a sound when they fly, and any talon to the back of the skull is all it takes to kill a full grown man.

Zombies can do none of those things. All they can do is... decompose. Although that is something raptors are pretty terrible at.

[Heretic]

Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice

Speaking from someone with extensive zombie survival skills thanks to a very well-known and highly useful book, I would say the car would be a bad choice. The noise would attract zombies for miles and you'd eventually run out of gas. Even if you didn't and you ended up finding gas pumps every time you needed them that magically still worked, you'd have to fend off the undead you attracted with the sound pollution you created with your lifted Geo, or whatever it is.

I'm glad SOMEONE mentioned the noise factor. All of you gun-happy survivalists take note: in the end, your shotgun or rifle is really nothing more than a fancy dinner bell. It simply wouldn't be possible to put down every zombie that much noise would attract.

For the few you might run into, keeping a couple of machetes on your person (machetes plural, in case you get one stuck in a walking corpse) should more than do the trick without inviting more zombies to the party.

Then you have to stop and think about how many people thought about getting in their cars and driving away and how all of the roads will have been blocked off with traffic and the zombies will have gone and eaten everyone stuck in the traffic jam, and so you couldn't get through the pileup anyways.

In the short term (and I think your book probably mentions this), a mountain bike is your best bet to find that sweet spot among factors like maneuverability, speed and stealth.

After that, my general plan would involve brewing various kinds of alcohol for fuel and consumption. Convert a BMW R1200GS motorcycle to run on it, and you have the means to transport your goods between fortified enclaves and trade for whatever else you might need.


- Heretic

[Malice In Wonderland]

Originally Posted by cultistofvertigo

Push them over. What are they going to do, decompose at me to death? They're zombies, they have no offensive capabilities, they can't walk, the ones that retain any sort of working mechanics are too slow and stupid to be a danger to anything, the worst case scenario is being bitten by one, which would only be possible if you literally stuck your arm in one's mouth and help it close it's jaw (since, you know, their muscles don't work that well).

If it was one of those Herbert West zombies, however, I'd shoot the thing with a shotgun. Their bodies still work, and they have intestine tentacles and cool shit like that, but they still act like normal zombies, so no real complicated contingency plan is needed.

And who is this babbling about zombies being "scary," scarier that raptors? What the hell are you smoking? "Raptor" is a general term for Dromaeosaurs and Accipitriformes, two of the most terrifying types of... living thing ever. I think Terror Birds count too, but if not, Utahraptor is only a little smaller than Kelenken (I think...). Plus, some of them fly. And you know Aquila (golden eagle and some others)? Those things will throw you off a cliff. No joke. They have a wingspan of something like 2 meters (not that big) and they will THROW you off a cliff.

Fucking THROW you off a cliff. Dromaeosaurs have killing claws, Sagittarius can break your bones by kicking you, Owls don't make a sound when they fly, and any talon to the back of the skull is all it takes to kill a full grown man.

Zombies can do none of those things. All they can do is... decompose. Although that is something raptors are pretty terrible at.

Are you that nerdy guy in every ring of friends that goes into huge explanatory speeches that no one cares about and kills all the fun?
And I think people are talking way more Frank than Herbert.

[All Shall Be Judged]

Originally Posted by Malice In Wonderland

Are you that nerdy guy in every ring of friends that goes into huge explanatory speeches that no one cares about and kills all the fun?

Yes, CultofVertigo, could you please refrain from interrupting the scintillating alternation between "I would get rilly drunk and drive around in a big-ass car" and "I wud punch them... IN THE FACE."

[Still Jack]

Oi, getting "rilly drunk and driving around in a big-ass car" is my contingency plan for everything. And so far it's worked pretty well.