A simple poem...rip it apart if you like.

[Seth Whisper]

I've lost my mind
A second time
Left behind
I walk the line
Between reality and dreams
Desperate, seems
A shadow leans
Across the beams
Of my heart
I start
To tear apart
Rend and tear
Pull out my hair
I stare
Out the window of my soul
My inner cold
Stories told
My pain enfold
Steam rolled
Bold
Can you feel my hate?
My heart you rate?
With envious eyes
My being dies
Destroyed by tides
To tell my lies
On darkened wings
The angel sings
Redemption bereft of light
My demons I must fight
Clenching tight
The inner light
Of angels smile...

The angels...
Smile, the sun shines
In you I find
Within my mind
Peace...

[Magpie_Tendencies]

This is the only part I have a problem with:

Desperate, seems
A shadow leans

Just because it doesn't read as easily as the rest, travelling from one line to the next in a way the rest of the poem doesn't.
I can see it for the rhythm but the confsion when I got to it messed up the rhythm for me anyway.

[Sinjob]

It's not bad, has some very good moments. Of course it needs work but don't we all as writers? I'd say you pulled it off when it comes to overall contrusting quick-witted works. I'm also fond of pieces that just make you run wild.